Safety is Relative

Chapter Twenty-Five - The Never Ending Thirst

I swallow, trying to get my thoughts into some kind of logical order.

Nina’s a werewolf. She didn’t kill me.

Nate’s a vampire. He saved my life. He’s going to be alright.

He killed that man.

I take a long, shaky breath, looking up, to where Liselle and Dudley are both scrutinising me like I am one of the most curious things they have ever seen in their lives.

‘Please, please let me see him,’ I beg. ‘Please, just let me go to him.’

Liselle tips back her head and laughs, a rich, throaty sound that echoes around the warehouse. ‘How priceless,’ she says.

James Dudley stalks forwards, a pitying smirk on his face. ‘Strange. How strange. That even though he is everything that you should fear, hate, despise- that he is the one person you love. Love enough to forgive him for murder.’

Murder. That one word rocks me to my core.

‘But it’s not his fault,’ I whisper, speaking my thoughts aloud.

James Dudley stops, looking shocked.

‘It’s not his fault,’ I say again, louder.

He stares at me, affronted.

‘It’s not his fault,’ I snap at him. ‘No. Not Nate’s. It’s yours. It’s always your fault. Monsters like you, who ruined his life. You made him into a vampire, you made him into a murderer. Nate fights that, fights the urge to kill every single day, and you made him feed. You are the one that killed that man, by your simple selfish act of revenge against your brother.’

I can’t believe I’m doing this, that I’m reprimanding one of the most dangerous creatures in living memory. But I am, and for this moment, the reckless danger I am in makes me giddy with courage.

‘I’m scared of you, of course I am, because I know that there are so many more ways than I can imagine that you could kill me in one of the next couple of seconds. I don’t want to die. Of course I’m afraid. But you know what else I feel when I look at you, Dudley? I feel pity. Pity for the creature you are, and sadness at what you have become. It was awful, what happened to you, and that your own family didn’t stand by you, but it was you who became the monster, it was you that ruined your nieces’ and nephews’ lives. And you continue to do so.’

I stop to draw breath, and feel a dawning horror set in in my stomach. What have I done? Nate just sacrificed his humanity to save me from a werewolf, and now I’ve just gone and insulted an Old One.

James Dudley doesn’t say anything for a second, and then suddenly he is behind me, one hand gripping my throat, the other pulling my hair away from my ear. Then he starts hissing words into my ear, his breath bursting in sharp, rapid blasts.

‘It’s my fault? You think it’s my fault that your little boyfriend just murdered? Come away from your high ground, little girl. It was your family that poisoned him, that forced him to drink to survive, and even when he resisted, when he chose death, the only thing that made him change his mind…was you. Was the cry for help from the girl he loves. So don’t for one second believe that it was me who made Nate kill. I have no power over him. The only power anyone has over him, is you, and his love for you.’

Then he drops me, disappearing in whoosh of wind that leaves me shaking and gasping for breath. There are tears in the corners of my eyes, tears of utter fear that fall down my cheeks.

He’s right. It is my fault.

Liselle sighs. ‘Don’t cry, baby. Love is a powerful force. You just have use it wisely. And right now, I think there is a way you can get rid of that guilt you feel.’