Safety is Relative

Chapter Twenty Six- What a Fragile Thing

When I was little, I used to be scared of the dark.

Dad used to tell me that I was being silly. Because no matter how long, how terrifying, how absolutely sleepless the night is, the one thing you can be sure of is that it is going to end. Every single time. The horror is broken by the rising of the sun, when the tendrils of light chase away the nightmares.

Of course, I would always fall asleep from sheer exhaustion by that stage, so I never really understood what he meant.

Now I do.

Nate and I stay together for the whole night, mostly locked in a tight embrace. At certain times, he would claw at me, gripping so tightly that it made me nearly cry with pain. At others, he would slump against me, so quiet and so still I would think he were sleeping if I didn’t know what he was.

What he is. A vampire.

And thanks to me, a murderer.

I’m not stupid. I know he’s killed many, many people before. But somehow, the poor man plays heavily on my mind throughout the whole ordeal of this night.

He would still have died, a voice in the back of my head tells me quietly. He was here as a snack, a meal for the vampires. And in a way, he saved my life. So he could have died for nothing, and instead he died for me.

I shake my head slightly. No matter what, he died. It shouldn’t have happened. I shouldn’t rationalise it, trivialise the fact that he is dead.

I don’t even know his name. Or where he’s from. If he has a family who are waiting for him to come home, a mother needing her son’s support, a business with an empty desk.

So when the sun comes out, the weak rays shining mutely through the grimy barred window, I force myself to think of other things. I survived the night. I’m still alive. Nate is still alive. Nina will be alright. We can get through this.

The sun caresses my skin, comfortingly warm. I look at Nate through tired eyes, slumped against me, the sunlight turning his dark brown hair slightly russet.

‘What do they want with us?’ I murmur, twisting some of his hair between my fingers.

He stirs. ‘What?’

‘Why did Dudley kidnap us? It makes no sense. What does he want?’

‘He wanted me,’ says Nate grimly, staring at the floor. He looks so sad. ‘You two were just unlucky.’

‘Or lucky,’ I whisper, thinking about how much worse off it would have been if we hadn’t freed Nate and James had come to my house instead, and found a group of slayers torturing his nephew.

‘Don’t say that,’ snaps Nate. ‘Of course this isn’t lucky. They’ll use Nina in their Blood Games, and she’ll be forced to kill helpless humans when she’s a wolf, until one of her victims gets lucky and kills her instead. I’ve seen it happen so many times.’

I stare at him, unable to stop the horrible imaginings in my head.

‘And you, you’re just here as leverage for me!’ he cries. ‘You’re here so that he can force me to do what he wants,’

‘No, Nate,’ I whisper, reaching out. My fingers touch his face, gently bringing his chin round to face me. ‘I promise you. At least we’re together. That’s better than anything.’

I can’t imagine how awful it would be to have been left behind, unable to do anything but think helplessly of my friend and him at Dudley’s hands.

‘But Rue, of course I will do what he asks of me,’ he whispers, his eyes shiny. ‘He already made me drink blood again by putting you in danger! It’s not fair on you. It’s so not fair. I should never have brought you into all this.’