Safety is Relative

Chapter Eleven- Too Much vs. Too Little

After school I am outside, trying to discover the best direction for catching the tiny breeze that has managed to survive the heatwave without pirouetting like a demented ballerina, when Nina and the others come up to me. I stop my efforts, and turn to face them, trying to hide the grin that threatens to split my face in two. After being at this school for a month, I feel like I am beginning to find my niche, and it’s with this group of people. And, even better, they seem to want me with them as much as I want to be with them.

Or in Lysander’s case: maybe too much.

It’s been very awkward between us for the past few weeks, or at least I think it has been. He acts like there’s nothing different about me, like nothing happened, and I was all too happy to do the same. But that doesn’t change the fact that he tried to kiss me. And that I’m going to that stupid dance with him.

‘Rue!’ yells Nina.

‘Hi!’ I say cheerfully, and momentarily lose control of my grin.

‘Hey Rue,’ says Nate, with a grin of his own.

I look at him, and don’t stop looking. Okay, so I’ve noticed him before, like when he was in his PE kit, and I know that he has an attractive body, but seeing him in just his shirt and non-regulation skinny jeans, looking attractively hot, makes me forget myself for a moment. It’s all too easy to picture him without his shirt on.

‘We’re going to go and enjoy the sun for a bit, want to come?’ asks Nina, thankfully oblivious to my thoughts.

I pull myself together, blushing from embarrassment. So far, attempts at curing myself from my secret crush on Nate aren’t working.

‘Um, yeah. Sounds good,’ I say quickly.

Nate smirks, like he knows all too well what’s going on inside my fevered brain. I hope to God he doesn’t- I’ve acted super careful around him ever since that near-kiss with Lysander. There’s no way I’m letting him know I imagined kissing him. I can’t imagine how he would react to that information.

‘I’m going to grab some shorts or something, though,’ continues Nina, ‘your house is close, so you can too.’

‘But us poor out-of-towners have to stay in this super-suitable attire,’ says Nate, gesturing to his and Louis’ school uniform.

His blazer is slung over his bag, breaking the school uniform code like practically every other student at this school has today, myself included. The teachers don’t seem to mind that much however, only paying attention when the Head master is in earshot. It’s too hot to wear blazers.

‘Poor you,’ I say, but catch myself thinking I don’t really mind that he’s staying in uniform.

We split up just inside the village, where School Lane branches off, away from the village centre and the sweetshop, and towards my house. The others all live in the centre though, so I expect to be abandoned. Instead, however, Nate decides to stick with me, explaining that he thinks it’s unfair I’ll be alone.

‘For about ten minutes total,’ I say, laughing, but inside my heart is beating like an agitated bird.

‘Yes, well now you won’t be.’

Nate tugs my blazer, which I have been carrying carefully all day. ‘Strict Mum too?’

I laugh, amused. ‘Yes! She’s crazy about our blazers. If I come home with it screwed up from a day in my bag, it’ll be goodbye Rue, hello early grave.’

‘Ah, we can’t have that,’ says Nate, reaching over and taking my blazer off me. I am so surprised that I don’t resist, just let him take it off me. His hand brushes against mine, his skin surprisingly cold for such a hot day. It makes my skin tingle, little shivers of cold running up my arm and turning it numb, but he doesn’t react, so I pretend I feel nothing either.