Heartbeat Away from Death

Chapter 7

Each step became heavier and heavier, her breathing hard and painful until she felt that cold, aching sensation in the back of her throat. She had to keep running; through the woods, passed the neighbouring houses. Faster and faster, as if she was outrunning it all. The memory of those dead kids plagued her thoughts. She had never seen anything so horrifying, the way their flimsy bodies piled over each other, thrown away like garbage.

And to think, that could have been her baby brother's body lying there. That could have been Ben.

She stopped and bent over, resting her hands on her knees, panting heavily. She couldn't go any further.

Footsteps quickly approached and overtook her. "Come on, sis," a chirpy voice encouraged her. "Tired already?"

Grace smiled and leant back up to see Ben jogging around her, flashing her a smug grin. He hadn't even broken a sweat.

"You're doing good, I see."

"Never felt better. Guess I'm one of the lucky ones."

Grace's smile faded slightly. The previous night, Anne had saved five of the kids and removed their harnesses safely. But she had lost one. Grace knew that bothered her, but Anne had done all that she could. And she saved Ben. For that Grace would be forever grateful. When Ben woke up, it was as if one battle had finally come to an end. She had almost cried when he recognised them all, when he seemed like the same old Ben she had always known. All she could feel was relief.

But now, something seemed off about him. He had woken up early that morning. Grace found him doing push-ups – those ugly, black spikes poking out from his spine, impossible to miss. Ben had always hated working out, and the day after having his harness taken off? Something seemed up. He had convinced Grace to go on a walk with him, which quickly turned in to a jog. Now Grace was exhausted and her brother didn't seem the slightest bit tired, or concerned about what had happened to him.

"Are you sure you ought to be pushing yourself so hard, I mean after everything that's happened? Don't you want to rest?"

Ben stopped his running-on-the-spot and took a few breaths. "I feel fine. Better than fine. I feel kind of...refreshed."

"Ben, you've been missing for months. You've been a prisoner. Doesn't that bother you?"

He mused over it for a second. "Well, yeah. But I guess it doesn't really feel like that long. I kind of felt like I was...dreaming? I don't know. It's hard to explain. But I wasn't scared or sad if that's what you're getting at. It...kind of felt like I wasn't in control of my own thoughts."

Grace didn't know how to respond. And that didn't scare him? She watched him scratch his shaggy hair and smile at her. He still seemed so young and innocent. She had expected – what exactly? That the whole experience would have ruined him? Aged him? Maybe something like that. She certainly hadn't expected this.

"I'm going to go back to the school. You can stop worrying about me now."

He gave her one last, goofy grin and sped off. Grace pushed her tongue hard against her cheek. When it came to her brothers, she felt exactly as her father did. She'd never stop worrying.

After a brief, cold shower, Grace began to towel dry her hair by the sinks. Looking in to one of the grungy, cracked mirrors, she stared at her tired reflection. Ben may not look much older, but she certainly did. She saw it in her eyes, in her skin. Even after washing, the scars and marks of this war remained etched in to her appearance. She felt a pang of sadness. She was not the girl she was half a year ago. Gone was the silly, teenage girl who giggled with her friends and blushed whenever boys flirted with her. And gone were dreams of school and careers and other hopes for the future. In a way, that was a good thing. That girl wouldn't have survived this war, but now she felt as though she had become cold and hard, because that's what you had to be to survive. Maybe that's why the skitters took kids – because their innocence was what made them vulnerable. She felt like smashing the mirror, her anger curling up inside her again. She still felt it, even with Ben back, even though things were finally looking up. She had felt angry a lot lately, ever since all this started.