Amnesia

Harry

Waking up next to Louis will never get old. He's a cuddly person by nature and always needs to be touching in some way. He likes to cuddle up to my back with his arm draped over me holding my tummy. We've slept this way for years. When we first began sleeping together it was much more friendly than romantic. The first time he had slept next to me was when we were teenagers. He had asked if he could sleep in my bunk with me and at first I questioned him and he said he was scared or some lie like that. It was Zayn who told me to let him sleep with me so he could sleep. Apparently, he couldn't sleep with Louis' insistent begging to sleep by me. I had let him in my bunk and he crawled up behind me and draped his arm over me and drifted off to sleep while I laid there wondering what it meant.

It had taken me months to realize what I was feeling for Louis wasn't innocent and it certainly wasn't friendly. I had real feelings happening for him and I thought he felt it too. That is until I took a chance and tried to kiss him. That hadn't gone anything like I had planned it.

"Whoa!" Louis said after I had kissed him.

We were alone in our hotel room when I took the chance. We were wrestling around and I pinned him down and kissed him. His eyes went wide and he looked at me like I had offended him.

"Sorry," I said and released him then climbed off him turning my back toward him in the process. I'm an idiot, I kept repeating in my head. "I'm so sorry."

I stood from his bed while he stayed silent. I had fucked up and I knew it. I thought he felt the sane way. I'd never been so embarrassed in my life. I kissed my best friend.

Louis stayed silent the whole night after that and into the next day. We couldn't look at each other, not in the eyes anyhow. I glanced in his direction but found that when I did, my face would heat up and I was embarrassed all over again. 

"What's happened with you two?" Liam asked me quietly the next day as we sat in the studio recording.

"Nothing," I lied because I couldn't tell Liam I had kissed Louis and he rejected me and now there's visible tension between us because of it.

"I hope you two work it out," Liam said. "If you had a fight we can fix it."

"We didn't have a fight," I said. "Just leave it alone."

"Ok," he said and left me alone.

As luck would have it Louis and I were left alone while Zayn, Liam, and Niall recorded. The tension so thick you could cut it with a knife. I had no idea how he felt because he had clammed up and refused to talk to me. That wasn't typical Louis, the guy who always had something to say wether it be funny, sarcastic, or just plain mean. But to be fair, Louis wasn't one to open up and confess his feelings. That was something he just wasn't open with. So imagine my surprise when he said. "We should probably talk, yeah?"

"Or we should just forget about it," I responded, still just as embarrassed as when it happened.

He stood and I thought he was going to walk out but he sat next to me and looked up at me. His pretty blue eyes meeting mine. "I'm not sorry," he said and I cocked my head at him in confusion. "I mean, after you kissed me you apologized for it. I felt so bad I didn't know what to say so I said nothing. I wanted that kiss Haz, just as much as you did. It just startled me and honestly it came out of nowhere."

"You were the one who always told me to do what I felt was right. It hurt for you to look at me the way you did," I admitted to him. "Like I disgusted you."

Louis smiled. "Fuck," he sighed. "You kissed me like you meant it love. It just scared me is all. I'm still figuring me out and you were so sure of that kiss. Like how can you be so far ahead of me in the game? You're two years younger than me."