Maybe I Hate The Way I Am

Ch 3 - Why were you scared?

TW: burn mark, self doubt

Third Person POV:

"I was really scared, Harry." Draco whispered.

"What? What were you scared of?"

...

"Malfoy?"

"Voldemort. He was going to kill me, and my family. He thought if I was truly loyal I would get the dark mark, then kill the headmaster."

Harry sat in silence for a moment.

"Oh."

"I didn't want to. I couldn't. So I tried to get it off. But now I'm just scared of-"

Harry thought for a moment. "Of what?"

The blondie sighed, "Just judgement, I guess. Because of that everyone thinks i'm a monster, a weapon, but i'm just me."

"Oh." Was all Harry said.

After all, what was he supposed to say? Draco Malfoy just opened up to him, and he admitted to not being loyal to the dark lord.

"Is that why you were shitty all these years to me and my mates? To distract yourself?"

"Erm- I suppose. I really am sorry, I was an arse and I should've known better. I hope in time you all can forgive me."

...

"Look, Potter, I really should be going, I shouldn't have talked to you about all this."

"No wait Draco-"

"It's Malfoy."

"Look, Malfoy. Please just let me help, let me be your friend. I can help you be yourself and you won't need to always focus on the past."

...

"I- I don't know, Potter."

"Please, Malfoy. You're going to eventually destroy yourself thinking about what's already done. Just let me in."

...

"I suppose- I guess."

"Great, meet me in the Great Hall at breakfast tomorrow. I will start to help you then."

Draco sighed quietly, he sort of regretted letting Harry become close with him.

"Erm-sure" He rasped.

"Okay, deep breaths, Malfoy. I will help you."

Draco nodded as he thought to himself. There's not much you can do Harry, I'm beyond help. You're running out of time.

Draco's POV:

I got out of my bed the next morning, having not a blink of sleep at all, as usual. I sighed as I made my way to the restroom.

I look up at myself in the mirror, I just stare at who I am now. I look like a totally different person than the Draco I used to be.

My usual platinum blonde hair has gotten duller, my usual piercing grey eyes have gotten darker. I have deep eye-bags and I look quite pale. Luckily, I had my posture still, but I didn't feel like walking out confidently like I used to, now I just keep my head down and mind my own business.

I barely comb my mob of hair and dress into what I would never normally wear, a black hoodie and black sweatpants. Normally, I would be wearing some sort of suit. But Im not okay anymore, so what's the point in dressing up? After all, eighth years aren't required to wear our house uniforms unless we want to.

I walk back into the restroom and pull up the thick sleeve. Maybe one more burn- no. Harry is going to help, Draco. Just don't think about it.

I walk into the Great Hall, Potter is there waiting for me already.

"Hey, woah." He said as he saw my outfit for the day.

"Draco Malfoy being a normal teenager and wearing casual clothes instead of a suit? Unheard of." He laughed a little bit.

I smile very slightly as I heard him laugh.

"Shut up, Potter. The suit was always way too much, plus these are way more comfortable." I smirked a bit.

"I agree, come on Mione and Ron agreed to let you sit with us."

"Erm- are you sure? I think I can just go sit with the other slytherins-"

I was silenced as Harry tugged my arm towards the table him and the others were sitting at.

"Hello, Malfoy." Hermione said, smiling.

"Er- Hi."

Ron just looked up at me and nodded- showing me he doesn't hate my gut anymore. I nod back.

I hesitantly sit down in between Harry and Hermione.

Looks were thrown my way as they saw I made friends with the Golden Trio. I just look down and rest my arms on the table.

"Malfoy, are you not going to eat?" Hermione asked.

"No- I'm not hungry." I replied quietly.

Harry stared at me for a moment before saying, "Eat, Malfoy."

"What? I said Im not hungry."

"Eat."

"Okay, Okay. Jeez."

I hesitantly eat a little, a piece of bread, and a cinnamon roll.

"Is that all your gonna eat?" Ron gave me a questioning look.

"Im really not that hungry."

Harry gave me a Eat goddamnit look but I ignored it.

Turns out I have potions with Harry, Ron, and Hermione. I can tell Potter is very serious about 'helping me'. There's nothing he can do to help me though, I'm a goner.

In potions Professor Slughorn announced we will be doing a partner project for the next couple of weeks. Just great. I thought, Harry will insist being my partner to have one on one time with me.

I stood correct, Harry walked over to my desk.

"Sooo you want to do the amortentia potion, I mean potion is my worse subject."

"So you want to leech off of me? I'll do it but you better do a part in the essay."

"Okay, okay, that's fair."

I continued to add and mix the ingredients as Potter just told me about his life, he didn't think I was actually listening, but I was, to every little detail.

"I'm finished." I said quietly.

Professor Slughorn walked by out work station.

"Magnificent job Malfoy and Potter!" He smiled.

I took a smell of the potion. I froze as I recognized the scent.

Broomstick polish, chocolate, fire, tartar, wood. It couldn't be.. right? Am I in love with bloody Harry Potter?

Harry took a whiff of the potion as well, he also froze as he took in who he smelled.

"You know who it is?" I asked quietly.

"Y-Yeah, you?"

I nodded. The bell rung just in time as I rushed out of the classroom.

Harry's POV:

I smelt the potion Draco prepared for today's class: the love potion amortentia. I froze, as I realized whose scent I could smell.

Green apples, cologne, mint, quidditch is that even a smell? The quidditch field? I also smelt raspberry, and rain?

Its official, Im in love with bleeding Draco Malfoy. How? He's tormented me for years, sure, he's always had the looks, his grey eyes that seem to change shades every time I look at them, the stupid flowing blonde hair, his stupidly cute smile,his amazing posture-

Wait. I don't find him that good looking right? Well even when he was tormenting me I always admired his stupid laugh and smirk-

No. Thats enough Harry.

Could this get any worse?

A/N Literally another chapter rewrite (7-19-23)