Maybe I Hate The Way I Am

Ch 6 - "I'm Working On It"

"Its all become too much
Maybe I'm not built for love
If I knew that I could reach you,
I would go."

- Atlantis (Seafret)
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3rd Person POV:

It's been a week since Draco and Harry's encounter in the hospital scene. Draco, was to say the least, quieter. His friends noticed this unusual silence coming from the blonde.

Blaise groaned in concerned annoyance, "Come on mate, you're acting like this is 6th year all over again, what's up?"

Draco's eyes widened as he remembered the hell 6th year put him through, subconsciously rubbing his burn scars.

"Draco, come on mate, will you quit that already?" Blaise coughed, waving his hand around to spread out the smoke coming from Malfoy's cigarette.

"Oh stop being such a baby it doesn't affect you." The blonde boy scoffed, taking another puff.

"Yeah, but it affects you, seriously mate, you'll kill yourself if you keep doing this." Zabini frowned in response.

"I wouldn't really mind that," The taller boy mumbled.

The black haired slytherin shot a glance at Draco. "Don't say that Draco. I know you don't want to do that task but- hey!" He was cut off by Malfoy putting out his cigarette on himself.

"Mate what the hell?!"

"What? It stops the pain." He said, wincing.

"What in bollocks name, how! Burning yourself stops pain?"

Draco angrily pulled up his left sleeve, revealing the dark mark. "THIS! I don't even feel the cigarette burn because of this! It already burns and stings like hell!"

Blaise stopped. He didn't know Draco would already be receiving the dark mark, at this young age.

"But.. wouldn't that make it hurt more mate? Don't do this to yourself man."

"No, it hurts all over." He replied, tears in his eyes, voice quivering as he spoke.

Draco shuddered at the thought. "It eases my mind okay? Nothing to do with you."

Blaise sighed. "Seriously man, are you alright? I know you and Potter were like buddy - buddy but ever since, I don't know, something happened between you guys and you've just been- not yourself." he stuttered on the last bit, trying to be careful not to riot up his best mate, after all, Draco's emotions were like a rollercoaster. One moment he's laughing and loud, the next he's zoned out and solemn.

"I know, I know." The blonde boy sighed. "I'm working on it, alright? I'm fine. It's nothing. I'm fine."

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Harry didn't know how he felt. Numb? Sad? Tired? Why had Draco said that? Were those moments they shared truly, all just an act? But they felt real, Harry felt happy. And he was almost positive Draco had been happiest in those moments then he'd ever seen before. So why had he broken their friendship off? Harry's mind was swirling.

The next morning Harry walked into the Great Hall for breakfast and glanced at the slytherins grouped together, and noticed, Malfoy was no where to be seen. He felt a pang with worry in his chest.

"Why do I care about him? He left me in the dust two days ago, so why do I feel the need to make sure he's okay?" He pondered, sitting next to Ginny and Ron.