I'll Learn From My Mistakes (Patrick Stump/Fall Out Boy Fanfiction)

Chapter 4 : Old Friends at New Place

I woke up alone and remember what happened last night "Oh shit" I whisper to myself. Why I did something that I probably regret? What if I'm pregnant? I'm just fucking 18 years old. It's already happened. Okay. Calm down, let's just pray for the best, I make my way to bathroom and showering. I grab my red crop sweater and my short jeans, it took 45 minutes just to showering in the morning. But wait, I'm not a morning person. I look at the clock and it's already 1 PM. Virginia just being herself. I make my way to the kitchen just to grab something to eat. I grab cereal and pour milk into it, is it too late for cereal? No, you're never too late for cereal and cartoon and nutella and yeah. I eat my food with worry that I will myself fat again. But I drop it off, I really hungry, I need something in my stomach. At least it's just a bowl of cereal.

I put the empty bowl on the sink and promise to myself I will wash it later. "Hey" A pair of hand wrapped around my waist and a head on my shoulder "Shit Patrick. You scared me" He kiss my shoulder and unwrapped his hand "You smell good" He said and smile. It seems like he already back to his house and have showered. "I need to go to the gym" I said "You sound like Andy. You know, Andy Hurley, my bandmate." I nod. And suddenly my jaw drop to the floor, I cover my opened mouth with my hand "What?" He said innocently "Wait. Wait a second. You are Patrick? Patrick Stump?" I said, he nod "The one and only" He reply me "Fuck" I whisper "Something's wrong?" He asked innocently, again "How can't I don't notice that glasses. Oh God, and that Stump. Fuck, I just having sex with one of my celebrity crush" I said look at the floor, I'm sure as hell I'm blushing and my face just as red and tomatoes. "Yes. Yes you are. Wait, what kind of fan are you? You don't notice me at all until I mention Andy Hurley?" He fake a sad face make me laugh "Nah, sorry. My favorite one is Andy." I said and smile "But at least I'm one of your celebrity crush"

"You know, you're one of my lifesaver" I said "What have I done to you?" We sit on the couch, so close and our thigh are touching. He stroke my hair and play with it "Not just you. You and your band and another band like Pierce The Veil and Sleeping With Sirens and All Time Low and yeah." I rest my head on his chest, make our position more comfortable "What are you trying to do?" He said "What? Oh right. Not much, just like losing hope and that kind of things" I lied.

In fact, I have a bad anxiety I'm glad Patrick not talking something bad about my body, I'm glad Patrick come over again after all we did, I'm glad Patrick doesn't think that I am a slut that will have sex with stranger easily. I'm anorexia, I used to go to gym and work out about 5 hours a day when what I have for breakfast was just a bread and milk and have no meal after that, I sleep to make myself not hungry. I really am depress, I'm glad I have a group of friends, but inside my deep dark heart I feel unloved, it feels like if I'm gone, nothing will be different. Arfin or Calvin or Rudy or Davis or Kennedy wouldn't miss me at all. No one loves me even the kings told me so many time that they love me. I tried to kill myself twice. Once before I know the kings, because of Ella and her friends couldn't stop to bullying me, I have a limit, and that day I reach my limit, I cut my wrist, deep. So deep. I feel like I could swimming in my own blood. But then I woke up in the hospital, and Max there, with Jesslynn. They look pretty worried and tired. And I promise them I won't did it again.

But then I broke the promise. I tried to kill myself again. This time because I losing my hope. No one stops yelling at me that day, I feel like I was a mistake. Even Kennedy yelled at me that I'm a failure, and I don't deserve to live. With that I drink a full bottle of pills, hope that I will sleep forever. But then again I woke up in the hospital, with different person around me. The kings around me. Even Kennedy can't let go of my hand, and say sorry more than a million time. And that day I promise them to not did it again. And I'm not broke that promise, maybe not yet.

"Virginia!" I heard Patrick a half yelled to me and wave his hand violently in front of my face "Yes? What?" I asked "I said I can drive you to the local gym where Andy usually goes to" He said and smile. "Yeah yeah of course. Let me grab my things first" I said and run to my room. Thank God, Patrick didn't notice my scar on the thigh last night. I meant, what will he do if he finds out? Like really, who will love suicidal girl like me?

I put my gym outfit in my blue Jansport and go to living room where Patrick waiting for me "I'm ready to go" I sing Panic! At The Disco song and he just laugh a little.

"No it's fine. I can took a taxi and go home by myself." I said to Patrick "But how can I know you're fine? I even can't talk to you thought the phone" He said, I roll my eyes and let out a heavy breath "Really Patrick, I will be just fine, I promise. You can come to my house around 9 and I will be at home" He nods "Be safe" He said and kiss my cheek, I nod and smile. I go inside and make my way to the receptionist "Good afternoon, can I be a member here?" I said and the receptionist nods and smile. I fill the form that she give to me and hand it back to her. She gives me my locker key and smile which I return. I change my cloth and grab my iPod, I plug on my earphone to my iPod without look my way and then I bumped at someone and drop my phone "Sorry, my wrong" I said and pick up my phone "Really? Someone have learn to say sorry?" I move my hair that cover my eyes and I blink a couple time "Kennedy?! What a small world!" I said a little bit too loud and jump to hug him. "I've missed you" he said "it's just a week, Kenny" I said and pull away from the hug "But still" he said and smile. We work out together like usual, how I missed to go to the gym with the kings.
"What's bring you here?" I said after finished showering. It's enough for today. "Did you remember what I've said when we graduated?" He said and I nod. How can I forget when he said he want to travel the world with us. "But where's the rest?" I asked "Nah, it's just me. The rest of us not ready to travel the world. What's bring you here?" He said and give back the locker key to the receptionist.  "Family game, you know?" I said and he nods "What if you come over to my house?" I look at the clock and it's still half to 8. "But I must be home at 9. Okay?" And he nods.
We talked about anything, about how stupid we used to be, high school life, and anything. "Virginia?" He said "No, Kennedy Nicholas McCartney. Nothing good when you said Virginia" I said and shook my head. "I just want to ask something, can I?" I nod "How long your days clean?" He asked and look at my eyes. "A....a month, I guess" I said, lied actually. "We live in the same city, I don't mind if you come to my house in the middle of the night just to hug and cry on my shirt like you used to be" he said, I slapped his arm playfully "Thanks" I whisper. I look at his phone and the clock said 10 PM. "SHIT KENNY! I MUST BE HOME AN HOUR AGO!" I said and jump from the couch. I grab my bag and mu sweater, run outside his house "Goodbye Kennedy!" I said and run. As fast as I could. I catch a taxi and told the driver my address.
I open my door and get inside. How can I told Patrick? Oh stupid phone stupid phone. I put my bag and ready to run again to Patrick's but when I'm about to run, I notice a fedora man in front of me. I couldn't stop myself so I make both of us fall down and I fall on his body. "S..sorry" I said and get up "Where were you? I worried so much, you said at 9 and now it's half to 11. Oh God, I thought you were......shit. don't ever do that again. Don't. Just don't." He said and hug me tight. "Why you so care?" I said and pull away. "You need to rest, you seems pretty tired" he said and smile.
"Why you so care?" I asked the same question. We were lying on my bed, and like usual, he play with my hair "I like your hair" he said and I can hear his smile. I roll my eyes and look up to him "Did you hear my question? I mean why? We just met two days ago, why you even care about me like you've known me for a long time?" I asked "I can't pretend that I don't know" He said and move the blanket that cover my legs and exposed my scars on the thighs  "I can't pretend like I don't notice it since the day we've met, I know you lied so much. We just know each other for 2 days and you lied so many times. I hate lies. But the most thing I hate is to see someone who I love, hate their selves." He said. Love? As friends. "Oh" that's all I can say, we're just friend. What I expected? He said he loves me like as a couple? No. "I'm tired" I said and turn around, so I'm not facing him. "Virginia?" He said and I turn around "Yes?" I said but still closing my eyes "Goodnight" he said and I can feel his soft lips on mine for a second. "Goodnight" I whisper and he pull me closer to himself.

No matter how hard I try to keep the distance, it's no use. And what I found was I fall harder every single second.