It is over with him
8 months ago
I can still feel the pain, it made me cry yesterday
Two years and a half fainted in a kiss, a final kissThen I continued to see him, kiss him and sleep with him
It did not hurt me at all
But he was still so toxic, so present and so far at the same time...
Saying that I am stupid, useless, too feminine, too much of everything... It was too much for me.Thank you dear friend for opening my eyes,
Thank you for being there without screaming to me
Thank you for looking at me this way, because it changed my lifeI stopped everything with him. It was brutal and sad but necessary. I know one day I will say it is the best decision I could ever make at this moment. He stopped the relationship, and I stopped the whole relation.
These words hurt a lotI would have loved to have a final conversation with him, but you told me not to. I know you are right and I try to help you too.
You are very precious to my eyesBut it was the same with him. He was the only one when I was alone and lonely. So are you.
Dear friend, I want to know you, to love you.
But I am so scared that you will make me feel the same way he did. So much love and yet so much pain. I guess he did not love me the way I did.
My dear lover, you are incredible and I know it could work between us. But I am not ready. Not ready to be hurt again and to hurt you. Not ready to see you so far from me.Am I still too young for this, for you ? I hope you won't become like him, perfectly the contrary of what he had told me.
But still, I want to love you. Because I want to make you feel loved, and I want to feel loved by you.