Anshi: The Lost Eagle of the Steppes

Crescendo

Three weeks later, Han walked the parapets alone. He had much to sort out after Anshi came to his side in his worst moment and reached out with that beautiful voice, to inch toward a friendship. It was the first time that heavenly sound had ever been directed at Han. The first time he felt the compulsive compassion the younger man could not control when faced with another's naked pain; even if the other was a worthless eunuch who had dug a part of that unfair well of sadness. He still cringed at the memories of those early days.

Even before Anshi reappeared to nullify the Crown Prince's evil mind, his guilt was compounded each time he had seen the royal with his string of favorites. None of the boys lasted long and followed Anshi into oblivion. He had not been allowed to train these replacements because he had failed so miserably with Anshi and for that he was grateful. Some were sold into slavery as Anshi had been. Some were sent to the eunuch makers to try and preserve their lovely voices, only to die in the process. Others had met their deaths at the prince's very hands. All had committed the unpardonable sin of not having the emerald-eyed Singer's miraculous instrument. And his fury, at finding Anshi had hoodwinked him and faked the ruination of that talent, had driven the man even more insane. When Anshi returned and demanded access to the Prince, Han secretly rejoiced and moved aside. No more victims would be sacrificed to soothe a disordered mentality. He recalled them all and burned incense for the peace of their souls, but none had haunted him as much as the one left living; the one he loved more than any other human being.

"All of those children..."

"Start to let it go, Han." The deep, soothing voice of the tribal Chieftain sounded soft. Han turned and saw Anshi emerge from the shadows. "We live in a world where children are shaped to fit the roles the rich and mighty demand. There were times back then when I too, turned a blind eye, to accidents or sabotage and avoided involvement for fear of a beating or worse. We had little choice."

The Minister shuddered. "I could not help them, either."

"Who?"

"The six that followed you."

"Six?"

"There would have been more if you had not returned."

"If I had known that I would have killed him, not erased his mind." He walked to the wall and looked down. "I should have just controlled him enough and sent him up here to jump."

Anshi rounded on Han, his eyes wild and filled with tears. "I hate him, still. I could not do anything else to stop him. I was frightened of the power my voice had revealed as I killed those 15 assassins. I was in no condition to use it to that extreme again, like that. And I hated myself as I plundered and assaulted his mind. I became as bad as him at that moment. I felt filthy; as if I had raped him. He had reduced me even to that."

Han hugged Anshi around the shoulders. "You could never be him. Think of it as surgery. You used that voice as a scalpel, Anshi.

You avenged your dead that night. You saved other boys that would have followed you. You saved my country and the dynasty I am helping to secure for them all. All that you did that night was excise some cancer. You must stop pillorying yourself.

Do you not know how heroic you are? You are no longer that small child desperate to die, as you were when you first arrived here.

You are a man with a purpose that drives you and a spirit that will never give up. You have a dynasty you want to rebuild. You will leave here in spring to seek a good wife. You want to be a father and raise children to change this awful world for the better.