Anshi: The Lost Eagle of the Steppes

Understanding Between Brothers

Anshi stared at his little brother who knelt, silent and dejected as Xiao Mian was removed from the Chieftain's yurt, He sighed heavily.

"What, A'Qiang, am I to do with you? Our mothers are at their wits end about this situation and beyond furious with Xiao Mian. She has placed their two sons in embarrassing and difficult situations and your choices were deplorable throughout these last few days. Now I am tasked with finding suitable punishments for two nearly adult members of my own family for throwing the kindness and trust of four loving parents back in their faces. What were you thinking?"

The younger man could only shake his head. Already torn, his heart was too full for words and Anshi could read every feeling on his face. He moved toward the teen and placed his hands on his shoulders.

"Rise little brother. Come over to the cushions and let's talk. I want us to be honest. There is no room for less between us."

They sat with a table between them, set with hot tea and warm soup. Spicy noodles were on the side as well as pork.

"Try a piece. Dawa Tuya has made it palatable for beginners. You will learn to eat it as we travel. All things are used to sustain us on the road."

"As we travel?"

"Yes. I will be frank with you. I have volunteered to take over a part of your and Xiao Mian's education. It will be a harsh one. It involves traveling with us and learning what the sheltered life at Cloud Recesses cannot teach you.

Your recent behavior has not been acceptable."

Qiang bowed his head. "I am aware. I have already realized that she uses my feelings to further her aims. I wish to overcome that. I have already demanded to be called Qiang, not my diminutive. For other reasons, I wish that here, too. I am not respectable enough for my diminutive name."

Anshi smothered a smile. "Of course. I will address you as Qiang if you wish."

"I do. I accept your authority over me, and I want to redeem myself."

"Good. We will begin tomorrow. Now tell me what happened between you."

Qiang related their short time together before Ge Ban and Sya Mu arrived, the ugliness that had flared.

"It suddenly struck me, this girl that I love with all my heart, (and I still do love her, Anshi, I do), thought nothing of using me, my loved ones, to get what she wanted. I was suddenly very tired of it all. Her passion for you is hurtful enough to endure. But this willingness to use their trust to obtain an end for herself... I could not bear it, so I said things in anger. I said things I felt but wish I could take back. I was not a gentleman at that moment and feel ashamed. Then, when I thought we might be in the hands of bandits and I could not defend her, I was terrified. My weakness had brought this on us. At any time, I could have alerted our parents of her plans, but I just wanted the few scraps she fed me, more."

By this time, he was in tears. Years of caring tossed aside. He felt used and sad. His brother moved beside him and put his arm around him.

"You have the best examples to follow in developing a good life. The Twin Jades, Wei Ying, Our Mothers. You have momentarily lost your way. They love you with all their hearts and this has been a painful decision, to leave the two of you in my charge. And they made this decision because they want you to grow and succeed."

"I feel terrible. I have disappointed them, and I regret that I did not follow my training. I disgraced them."

"Let Lan XiChen handle that, He will try and minimize the situation so there is little or no stain to go back to for either of you. But only if you succeed in turning your attitude around."

"I will work hard. Whatever you ask, I will do."  

"I hope this time here will change you both. I think your devotion to Xiao Mian is sincere. It is selfless and unstinting. But restraint must be learned. Love is a good thing. But duty is something that must balance it as well.

Also, honesty. I will need your help in this. No matter how difficult it will be, I must deal more harshly with her. I must break this crush into a thousand pieces and make her loathe me. It will be hard for you to watch. And Ge Ban as well. It will be something that I will hate myself for, but she must not be allowed to continue on this path. She, Ge Ban and I went through a night in hell together. We smothered her with love and indulged her in order to make up for her losses. She is a good person. I just need to be the bad guy in this. And that will be hard for me. I will begin you both at the bottom. You will both have to earn your way as we go.

Most importantly, you must not try and minimize these lessons for her. Let her rage, let her pout, let her cry. Offer no assistance. I will have everyone here teach her and she will learn to appreciate her life. As will you. You cannot assume because we have talked that your status here is anything other than what you can raise it to be. Work hard and you move to greater responsibilities. I have a feeling that you will out-distance her at first. That is good. Perhaps when she watches a man develop in front of her, she will strive to be a better woman."

"That may be so. But I do not intend to do this for anyone but my family and myself, Anshi. I have a lot to make up for and a lot to prove."

The brothers sat down for their first meal together as tribesmen. Anshi could see a new determination begin in his brother and he was glad. On the other hand, he suspected the stubborn Xiao Mian would be a problem. If she did not learn restraint and a sense of duty here, he despaired for her. And he would have failed her mother as well.

This had not been a part of his future that he had foreseen. In truth, if Yenay had not found him, there had been no more future left for him. In fact, he had lost all hope for one for a long time. He owed his new family a chance for these two.

After the supper was devoured and he had made sure that Xiao Mian had eaten and was now asleep under careful eyes of Dawa Tuya and Sya Mu, he sent Qiang out with Ge Ban and he prepared himself for bed. He washed off the grime for the day at a basin and rubbed sandalwood oil into his dry skin, now deeply bronzed after a week in the unrelenting sun. His duties never stopped, not even the physical ones. It made sleep easier to come by. Exhaustion was a good antidote for his insomnia. It pushed away the horrors of the night of the massacre and dulled the memories of his time at the palace. It sharpened his mind and polished the cut muscles that were developing all through his arms, torso and shoulders. His face was becoming more defined, slightly broader, the cheekbones more prominent, the eyes more alert and far-seeing. He was slowly becoming what he should have been.

A leader of a tribe.

A man of action as well as thinking.

And yet, he was still The Singer, with a voice that could love and kill.

His future depended only on him.