Bear Naked 4: The Sons of Garm

Chapter 4

Amanda walked beside Uncle Robert, one arm in his. Maybe it was the bear shifter in him, or the family connection, but his mere presence made feel as though she had her uncle back again. He had the same calm strength.

They were walking towards the Leidulf's house for lunch. Corey was staying home, said he didn't feel well anyway. He said that a lot. His fight with his father, Amanda knew, weighed heavy on his mind. She wished she could somehow reach him, but even Jay had a hard time penetrating the dark mood around him this last week.

Shannon, Robert's wife, was driving the truck with Jay for company. Had some things to talk about. Amanda snorted. Code for shaman, medicine things. Like she wasn't pagan, too. She might not be as versed in the sight or real magic, like Jay but she wasn't an outsider either.

I wish I had the sight, she thought. She could guess who Jay had been talking to in the window's reflection when she arrived. She felt his presence, too, but she couldn't see him. And gods did she want to.

If only she could have saved him.

"You couldn't save him," Robert said, guessing her thoughts. "You know that right?"

"If..."

"No. Not even if you had the gift. Not even if you had known it was trap. You can drive yourself mad with ifs. Don't. And don't be angry. Darren wouldn't want that."

"Then what am I supposed to feel?" Amanda shot back.

"Sad," Robert replied. "For awhile. Then," he shrugged. "He died protecting the ones he loved. Sounds like an honorable way to go. Remember 'Cattle die, men die, only brave deeds live forever.' Don't forget what he did. Sing it every Samhain. He'll be satisfied." He stopped and pulled her around to face him. "Don't get yourself killed seeking revenge, Amanda. You and Hunter are too important. He died to keep you safe. Don't take that away from him."

Amanda met his gaze for a moment and then looked away. "I'll try not to die, Uncle," she groused.

"Try?"

"I didn't start this fight. And I can't just walk away from it," she shot back.

"If you could, would you?" Robert asked.

"What does that mean?"

"If your wolf mate can make a peace treaty, if he can get them to agree to leave you and Hunter in peace? Will you accept that?"

"Who will that leave for them to hunt? I won't step aside only to have you or someone else next on their list."

"Not even if it takes Hunter off that list?"

Amanda froze. "Hunter," she breathed.

"It's your responsibility now, to protect him. If that might mean fighting, I've little doubt of you and your pack's willingness. But it might mean setting aside revenge. Can you do that?"

Amanda knew what Darren would want her to do, even now. It would be harder than fighting, far harder, but it was the right thing. She nodded. "I will. If they agree. Which I doubt."

"Just go into this council with an open mind."

Amanda nodded her agreement. Jay and Shannon had gotten there well ahead of them and were waiting on the porch, talking to Connor.

She felt a warm flush for Connor. He must be feeling the same thing for me that I am for Corey. She'd been mopey and depressed since Darren's death. She tried to let him in, tried to let him know that she still loved him. But it was hard. Sorrow was selfish. It wasn't just Darren's death, it was the revelation that they had killed her parents, too. It was the revisiting that loss. There was so much to it that he'd never had to experience, being orphaned, having a loved one murdered.

No, I shouldn't say that. He loved Darren, too, in his way. They may not have known each other as long, but when she thought of how she'd felt last summer when Aaron's pack was in danger, or Connor intensity when he'd vowed to protect her over Darren's grave, he'd suffer a huge loss too.

As they reached the porch, the door opened and both packs poured out to greet the new visitor. Even though they'd only met a time or two, they shared a bond with Robert, Amanda thought as Mitch took Robert's hand and she caught sight of Mitch's free hand, missing two fingers from the fight with the Sons of Garm. Could the others really believe that peace was possible?

For all of his protests that he needed to travel, lunch took most of the afternoon and nearly turned into supper before Robert and his wife could bring themselves to say goodbye, climb back in their pickup and head off for their next destination.

As afternoon began to give way to evening, Amanda and Connor walked Jay back to the cabin.

"He never said where the next destination was, only that it was three hours drive," Connor commented as they walked.

"Anders and Eva Hummel; been there a couple times," Amanda said. "They both have the gift."

"Do you know all of them?"

"That have the gift?" Amanda asked. "No. We saw a few, a few times a year. Later, Darren told me which were kin and which had the gift. But I doubt I know a fraction of the clan."

"It's just that he made a big deal about traveling and talking to all these bears, but he was vague about where, how many, everything," Connor mused.

"So?"

"He doesn't trust us."

"Not completely," Jay said. "Nor should he."

Connor gave Jay and indignant look. "But..."

"It's not like that," Jay interrupted. "Of course you've proved yourself trustworthy to protect Amanda, to support their cause. Otherwise they'd not be letting you take Amanda to the council."

"I don't think they get a say," Amanda shot back.

"You know what I mean," Jay groused. "My point is that they are sure of your intentions. But they've survived by keeping a low profile for centuries. So have the otters. I haven't told you who most of my kin are, or where they live."

"But if it comes to war, shouldn't we know?"

"No," Jay said. "You could get captured and tortured. Heck, someone could just say something stupid to someone else and pretty soon everyone knows. We've got to be super careful about our networks."

Connor pursed his lips and then lapsed into silence.

They found Courtney back at the cabin, in a red velvet skirt and a dark blouse. She had a tissue in her hand and had been crying. "Don't ask me," she groused, gesturing with the tissue. "It's easier for females to be sad in this society. But it's not like there's any society in this cabin to object to a boy crying. Still..."

Jay laughed and sat next to her, pulling her close and running his hand through her hair. "Still," he finished for her, "if feels easier somehow to let it out in girl mode." Jay pointed a playful finger at Amanda and Connor. "And you guys get after me for thinking being a fierce warrior makes me more male. And yet, as much we all say 'screw society,' it gets trapped up in our heads anyway. We've got to find our way out, like a maze or something..." he trailed off, lost in thought.

"We'll let you two find your way out of the maze then," Amanda said. "And we will see you in the morning. Before we head out." She slid her arm around Connor's and led him out into the night.

"That kid is wiser than anyone has any right to be," she said as they walked. She touched Connor lightly. "Just listen." He made an affirmative grunt. "Grief is like that, too. A maze. I am trying to find a way out. Trying to find a way for you to be in here with me. But it's not easy. There is so much I know you haven't had to go through. I don't want to put it all on you."

"Just talk. That's all I ask," Connor replied.

So she did. She started with the night her parent's died and talked. They past his house and went on, deeper into the night.