Author's POV
Xiao zhan ran inside his room and locked it. He was panting really hard and diidnt know how to calm down his racing heart. He has so many questions in his mind and he doesnt know to whom he should seek those answers. He suddenly remembered the portrait he painted today.
"Lan Zhan.." xiao zhan said and suddenly a severe headache caught him. He clutched his head with both and and tried pressing on it to try and reduce the pain. But it was ineffective and he closed his eyes tightly trying to shoulder the pain.
"Lan zhan.. that is my emperor smile.. you pay me back.." xiao zhan heard his own voice shouting and he saw himself in the white robes while facing a stoic lan zhan standing there with his sword in his hand. He saw how gracefully they fought in the full moon night and how they parted in a draw while acknowledging each others skills. He also noticed in the full moon night Lan Zhan shone bright like an angel from the heaven.
His vision again went from that scene to where Lan Zhan and Wei Ying inside a cold cave and where they were paying respect to an elder of lan clan. They were both cold and wet. Their hands were connected using the headband. Xiao zhan noticed how little expression Lan Zhan shown in his face and how remained emotionless even wei ying was trembling because of the coldness. Xiao zhan noticed even without the usual headband how beautiful lan zhan was.
Xiao zhan felt the rage in his mind as he saw some person wearing red robes beating his lan zhan and when he tried to move he found himself on the restraints. Xiao zhan saw him and lan zhan fighting a monster in a cave and almost getting injured. Xiao zhan felt how his heart bleed for lan zhan when he was in pain. And he saw lan zhan was trying to school his emotions even when he was in great pain.
Xiao zhan saw his clan burning down infront of his eyes. He saw how the dark energy surrounded him pulling him into the depth of darkness. He again found himself in a old building where he was killing someone and he had a black flute in his hand.
"Chenqing..." xiao Zhan's mind said. He saw Jiang Cheng and lan zhan coming there. For the first time he and lan zhan disagreed on something. Wei ying denied the invitation of lan zhan to take him to his clan and he made him leave.
He find himself again infront of Lan Wangji as his sister yang Li. Wei ying was getting angry at Lan Zhan but without telling a word Lan Zhan left them. Wei ying went towards him when he found that lan zhan didnt tell anything to his sister. Wei ying saw him and Lan Wangji sitting on the rooftop talking about their situation and for the first time he recognized the genuine concern lan zhan wore in his face. Xiao zhan felt like he want to reach out and hug him close and tell him to not to worry. Instead Wei ying decided to part on good note. He felt rage rising in him seeing the difficulties some jin clan put Wen clan through and he decided to protect him.
Xiao zhan vision was again shifted to the lone figure who was standing middle of the road in the rain. The umbrella was held above his head to protect him from the rain and his other hand held his trusted Bichen. Wei Ying saw the pure pain and longing in those eyes when they parted. He can feel every fiber of his body telling him to go back to him but his duty came first. In order to protect his justice, he left him behind alone and miserable with a heavy heart.
Xiao zhan's vision again shifted to burial mound. He again saw the little kid Ayuan, his friends wen Qing and wen ning. He saw the life they lead there. Full of happiness but still he can feel the loneliness and longing he has for his family, his sister, his brother and his lan zhan. Xiao zhan saw Lan Zhan again that too in burial mound who came to visit him there. Eventhough he didnt stay longer he was happy regardless.
Xiao Zhan's vision again changed to a cliff, where he was walking to the edge with a defeated expression. His mind flashed the image of his sister dying, his people renouncing him, the heads of the people he vowed to protect hanging on the tip of the spears. He was smiling and crying feeling completely alone. Wei ying looked at the depth of that cliff and he can feel in his heart that he was all alone in the world. Wei ying closed his eyes and he jumped. He was waiting for the impact but he felt like he was dangling on the air. When wei ying cleared his mind he saw a hand with white sleeves holding him. Wei Ying can feel the red streaks of blood flowing to his fingers. He looked up and saw Lan zhan holding him. He can see the pain in his face and his eyes were begging him to hold on. Wei ying smiled knowing atleast someone wanted him in there. But he also knew it was too late, maybe he should've gone to gusu when lan zhan asked him earlier.
"Lan zhan.. let me go.." wei ying said with his tired voice. But lan zhan held on while the blood streaming down his hands painting his white robe red. We Ying suddenly saw movements behind Lan Zhan and saw his shidi coming with a sword to kill him. Jiang Cheng was about to strike down the rock and Wei Ying knew if he held on to Lan Zhan, they both will die. With string pull Wei Ying freed his hands from Lan Zhan's iron grip and fell down to the abyss with a smile on his face.
"WEI YING.." The heart wrenching cry of Lan Zhan was echoing in his mind before he embraced the darkness.
"Lan Zhan.." Xiao Zhan screamed while opening his eyes. He was covered in sweats and was panting. Xiao Zhan can hear his own heart beat loud in his ears.
"I am alive.. " Xiao Zhan felt his heart beating and thought aloud.
"If I am Wei wuxian, and that man is Lan Zhan , then.. Who is Sizhui..? In my memory of previous life, I don't know anyone named Sizhui or a person who looked like him. Who is he? Why do I feel a sense of love and care towards him. I know the feeling is strong and it is not because he is my friend, then who is he to me..? what happened to Lan Zhan after my death..? Lan Sizhui..? How does he know my Lan Zhan?" Xiao Zhan thought and without missing any beat he dialled for Sizshui.
"I will wait for you at the place we usually go for discussion.. Please come.." he said and disconnected the after hearing an agreement from Sizhui. Xiao Zhan splashed water on his face and wiped it clean. He grabbed the near by hoodies and went out.
"A'Zhan.. Where are you going..?" " Xuan Lu asked seeing Xiao Zhan hurrying towards the door.
"A'Xian.." the tearful eyes of his sister Yang Li and her wounded figure came into his mind. Xiao Zhan moved towards his sister and hugged her tight.
"Shijie.. I love you.." He said. Xuan Lu was surprised by this sudden hug, but with a sweet smile she reture4d the hug and said.
"oh... A'Zhan... Shiji also love you the most.." Xiao Zhan wiped his tears away and put on a smile in his face showing his bunny teeth.
"shiji.. I am going out to meet one of my friend and I will be a little late okay../" He said and fled the scene before he broke down crying. Xiao Zhan reached the meeting point and it was already night and the moon was up in the sky. Seeing the full moon, Xiao zhan couldnt help but remember his Lan Zhan who looked as beautiful and soft as the moon. A smile bloomed i his face for a second before it melted away.
"Lan Zhan.." Xiao Zhan breathed out. He suddenly heard the sound of a vehicle pulling beside him and then the footsteps that were approaching him. Without turning round Xiao Zhan asked./
"Who are you Sizhui..? How do you know my Lan Zhan..? How are you related to him and why do I feel like I know you?" Xiao zhan didn't even wait around and asked questions straight ahead. Sizhui sighed and stood in line with him and said.
"SO you also have the memories of your past life.. right Wei ge..?"
"Thats not the answer to my question Sizhui..?" Xiao Zhan sneered and turned around to face him.
"Sizhui is the name given to me by HanguangJun. He took me in and adopted me into the Lan Clan and raised me as his son. I don't have much memories about when I was a kid before the adoption. My memories were lost due to some disease I had. But I know my old name, father told me a little bit about my past when I finally finished the studies at Gusu. I am Wen Yuan.." Sizhui said looking directly at Xiao Zhan
Author's Rant
I guess.. check out the next update..
To be continued...
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Sizhui
Fanfiction"Love is not something we are prepared for and it is something which you will get when you least prepared for it. It will change your whole life for better or worse. It will make you feel like you are finally complete, like the missing puzzle piece...
