Still Not Skinny

Friends Make You Eat; Best Friends Make Sure You Don't

"Julia! Are you even paying attention to what I'm saying?"

"Huh?" I say after I take out my earphones.

"Apparently not." my friend Renee says "Anyways, I was wondering if you wanted to come over next weekend. My mom is having a bunch of people over. It's some thing for work, I don't even know. But there's going to be cake and, well, you know how those things get."

Renee is just about my best friend. No one knows as much about me as she does. We're so similar in all of the things that we're going through. Actually, we dated for a while back when we were questioning our sexuality. That's how comfortable we are with each other. She has an eating disorder too. We tend to keep each other in check with our goals. That's why she wants me to come over next weekend to her mom's party. I told her family that I'm a vegan so they don't question why I don't eat much there. It's a surprisingly good excuse because there are a lot more foods that aren't vegan-friendly than I imagined. And her parent's don't know the first thing about vegan food so they don't question me on it either. They'll believe anything I say about things being non-"vegan friendly".

"I'd love to come. Just text me the times and stuff so I can tell my parents." I answer as I sit up in my seat on the bus. Renee smiles brightly at me.

"Awesome! It'll be easier to deal with if you're there." Anyone overhearing the conversation thinks Renee just means easier to deal with the people when in reality she means easier to deal with the food. The reason she needs me to come is because when I come over, Renee only eats what I will and tells her parents that she doesn't want me to feel bad if I'm not eating what everyone else is.

The bus pulls up to the school and I get off right behind Renee. Her shoulder length brown hair starts blowing around in the wind. She starts complaining about how she hates when the wind messes up her hair. I like it better a little messy though. Call me crazy but I think it adds to her glow.

I grab her wrist and pull her aside from the mass of people making their way from our bus into the school building.

"Hey, I'm starting a fast at 7, in fifteen minutes. Would you like to join me?" I ask

"Absolutely. How long are we going for?" She's eager to do this; I can tell. She probably binged yesterday or something and really needs to flush her system.

"I don't know. Do you want to do two or three days?" I haven't done a three day fast in a while so I'm hoping she says three.

"Hmm... Three days. The usual water, green tea, and gum only." Not even a second after she finishes her sentence she starts walking faster to catch up to the others.

I trail behind and put my music back in. After depositing today's lunch money in my lockee I start heading downstairs to my morning spot. My phone vibrates in my pocket. I open it to find a message from Mickel telling me to meet him in the cafeteria. I'd be crazy to turn down a chance to see him. Upon reaching the bottom of the stairs, I walk straight past my morning spot and make my way to the cafeteria. It's easy to spot Mickel as soon as I walk in. He's sitting on the opposite side of the cafeteria all by himself and he's dressed in all black as usual.

I sit down next to him rather than across from him. As I sit down, I notice he has a plate of cupcakes in front of him.

"I made cupcakes yesterday and thought I'd give you one. They're red velvet; your favorite." He takes the plastic wrap off the plate and slides one of the cupcakes then hands it to me.

"Oh, that's nice but I can't. Thank you though." It's now 7:03 and I am officially in fast mode. I can't even chew and spit this. I feel terribly guilty.