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Yoongi smiles while he pets Mudo.
He got the call from Namjoon about his cat staying for now on. Yoongi wouldn't refuse. He adores Mudo when he used to visit Namjoon's house. Well...not his home anymore due to the situation. But Yoongi is clueless about that. Namjoon wouldn't tell him because it involves the abuse once again, that's kind of how they met.
During the time, Yoongi is in his bedroom with Mudo, taking pictures of her out of happiness. Seokjin softly taps on the door, already being opened just to get Yoongi's attention. Yoongi looks up and his smile drops due to the awkwardness they still have with each other.
He shuts off his phone and puts it down. "What'd you need?"
"You're uh, running out of shampoo." Seokjin nervously says, chuckling a bit.
Yoongi lowers his eyes, starting to pet Mudo. "There's more in the closet. Same brand." He looks back to Mudo.
Seokjin nods, walking over to sit on the edge of the bed. "Yoongi."
"What."
"I love you."
Yoongi stops mid pet. He flutters his eyes and continues to pet her. "I know that already."
"Yoongi—"
"I'm only letting you stay because you're on break." Yoongi looks at him. "I don't want to talk about us. You wanted to see me, you got your wish. You wanted to stay, you got that wish too. I am not just letting you stay just because of my feelings towards you. I'm different now, so don't even try."
Seokjin gulps hard. Yoongi looks back down to Mudo, trying to keep his now bad mood distracted. Yoongi changed a lot because of what happened between them. Yoongi just filled up his love with hatred. Seokjin knows it. He could tell but he doesn't want to accept it. He knows what he did but he just needed to.
When they first met up that one day, Seokjin started crying right when he saw him once again. Yoongi wanted to forgive him so badly but...he just couldn't. His teenage heart just couldn't forgive from how he felt the day he left him for his carrier—
"I'll quit."
Yoongi looks at him, brows knitted. "What?"
Seokjin stands up and looks at him. "I'll quit acting, I'll quit singing—I'll quit all of it!" He scoffs, shakily sighing. "I'm tired Yoongi. I'm-I'm tired of all of it. It became my Appa's dream more my than my own and I'm starting to fucking hate it!"
Yoongi brows slowly became a curl. Quitting. That's the word that Yoongi did too. He thought about going to college. But once Seokjin pulled that stunt on him, he gave up. He quit. He hated everything and just decided to become a simple mechanic. That's the only thing he's good at. With Seokjin's soft hands and Yoongi's rough hands... It just seems perfect.
"No. N...No, no—you can't quit." Yoongi moves Mudo off him and gets up from sitting. "That's really fucking dumb of you. You're not like that."
"Well, maybe it's about time that I quit. I'm hating everything now, just like you are. You-You can't even fucking accept that I'm here and wanting to be with you! I want to be with you! I honestly do!"
"You fucking left me!" Yoongi suddenly yells. "You left me when I was wanting to kill myself when my Umma died!" Yoongi pushes him, Seokjin stumbling back. "You fucking left me when I had nothing—you were the only goddamn thing I had left! I was living on the fucking streets because your fucking dad kicked me out because he didn't want you being a faggot and I was the disease!"
Seokjin stared at him. Yoongi has tears in his eyes, already rolling down his face. He's very upset. Very. Seokjin developed tears too, not knowing what to say or even to do from the shout. He didn't know Yoongi was at his lowest. How could he know when he never said anything about it?
Seokjin slowly walks up to him, lifting up his hands to Yoongi's face. Yoongi was shaky everywhere. He hated pouring out his feelings, having his hands up to his head and pulling on his hair. Seokjin lifts his hand up to cup his face, wiping his tears away for him.
Yoongi hiccup cries, Seokjin knowing it by heart and hearing it himself. It never changed. Seokjin lifts his hands up to Yoongi's head and helps him let go of his own hair like a toddler. Yoongi does let go, continuing to cry. Seokjin cups his face again, slowly lifting his head up to look at him in the eyes.
"I'm so sorry." Seokjin sobs out, softly petting his hair. "I don't deserve you. I never deserved you. You deserve everything." He whispers.
He was always there for him. But he left at a wrong time. Yoongi just cries it out, immediately putting his arms around him and sobbing harder onto his shoulder. Seokjin hugs him back and closes his eyes, continuing to pet his hair. They both slowly lower to the ground, Seokjin pulling him close to let him sit on his lap on the side.
Yoongi's phone started to buzz, the only people texting are usually his coworkers and Namjoon. It's a possibility that it's Namjoon. Seokjin mentally begs him to ignore it, hearing it himself. Yoongi didn't care and just continues to cry, not able to hear it for himself.
An hour or so later, Yoongi ended up falling asleep. Seokjin was leaning on the bed, still holding onto Yoongi. Seokjin decided to pick him up and carefully put him on the bed, gathering up the pillows and blankets all together to make Yoongi comfortable as possible.
I'm still quitting. I only want to be with you. I don't care about anything else anymore. Only you. Seokjin tells himself, softly petting Yoongi's hair. He leans down and softly kisses his forehead, moving away to let him sleep. Every tear that fell, Yoongi meant all of it. The hate, the love, all of those emotions.
Seokjin decides to get himself distracted and started to organize things. Yoongi didn't care that he did. He kept his house clean anyways and it didn't bother him as much.
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