"What?"
Billie opens her mouth, but the words don't leave. The look of shock in Vanessa's expression stopped her.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that." she takes it back.
But it's too late. Vanessa removes her hands from Billie's face, moving away from her to create more distance between them
"Please get out."
Billie panics. "Nessa, I'm sorry-"
"Why would you say something like that?"
The silence only heavies the burden of truth. Billie is left in a position where she has no choice but to come clean. But if she did that Vanessa could hate her, or even worst, tell her parents.
"I can't do it." Billie whispers.
"What can't you do?"
Vanessa was afraid of Billie's response and what it would pertain. She was afraid of what it would mean for them both.
Billie leaned closer, and she leaned backward at the same time.
What would her parents think? What about focusing on school? Was Billie trying to protect her all this time, or was she simply preserving her for herself. If so, then how malicious that would be.
She couldn't even imagine Billie would do such a thing. Billie is pure, she's kind and protective. She's a golden retriever. She has no intention but to ensure Vanessa's emotional and physical safety.
Today, Vanessa didn't think so. As Billie stared into her eyes, she knew that the admiration in those blue irises wasn't just surface level. It was deep, it was romantic, with a touch of lust.
"I can't let some idiot touch you that way." Billie says.
This time when she leans closer, she places her hand on Vanessa's shoulder to ensure she doesn't move.
"It isn't your choice."
Billie's hands trace up to her neck. "I can make you feel good. I can make you feel safe, and loved, in ways no one else can. If you would just let me."
Vanessa shuts her eyes in a desperate attempt to remain resilient in her pursuit to object. At this moment she questioned if she truly is ready to give herself away.
The thought felt to rebellious. She felt like she was about to commit a crime. Yet at the same time, she felt a familiar throbbing at her core. She felt her heart pound against her chest with adrenaline, with excitement, with sexual intrigue.
Billie's hand wrapped around her neck, and she couldn't contain the moan that left her lips. Her face turned red, ashamed of the sound she made. Yet Billie seemed delighted.
"My parents." she whispered.
She shuts her eyes as Billie places a kiss on the corner of her lips. "They won't know." she whispers back.
"I can't Billie."
Billie slid her hand from Vanessa's neck, leaning away to meet her eyes.
She's never seen Vanessa so unsure, so scared. She's never seen her confidence falter. She didn't want to be the cause of such a thing.
"You don't have to." she assures her. "But promise me you won't do it with someone else."
"I can't promise that."
"Nessa, it's all I ask."
Vanessa frowns. She doesn't like to feel pressured to do anything against her will.
