Billie didn't have any guests other than Vanessa over. She's always had a small circle of friends, and a larger one of acquaintances, people she would never trust.
It happened after her mother died. She just couldn't trust that anyone would stay forever. They'd either die like her mother, or leave like her father.
Routinely, Vanessa would visit late night and go home during early mornings. Around the time when Billie would be on her own, and wallow.
It dawned to her that she may have lost the only family she ever had, and now all she had was Vanessa. And everytime the girl went out the door, she feared the day she wouldn't return. Billie imagined that one day, she would park her car in their neighborhood and wait for hours until she goes into the house to see that everyone packed their things and left, including Vanessa.
It was a consistent thought, haunting her when she was working, making it difficult to do so. She hated it. She hated coming home to an empty house. She wanted Vanessa there when she got back. She wanted go see her when she woke up in the morning, and when she goes to sleep.
Billie doesn't want go sneak around anymore.
The option of whether to continue knocked on her door on her way to work.
She thought it mightve been one of her neighbors, and was morbidly shocked when Gabby stood at her door, the green eyes Vanessa had inherited glaring at Billie with a mixture of suspicion and wonder.
The woman let herself in, pushing passed Billie.
"I'm just going to skip straight to the point." Gabby announced, throwing her handbag on Billie's couch to cross her arms over her chest. "Have you continued to Vanessa, after I asked you not to?"
"No." Billie response is immediate.
She couldn't lie to Gabby, but that was before Gabby became one of the people who threw her away like she was a piece of trash.
The woman narrows her eyes. "If you're lying, I'll know."
"I'm not lying." she lied.
Gabby paused, observing Billie's expression. "She's been sneaking out at night."
"And you think that's my fault?"
"I know it's your fault."
"She was pretty well behaved when I was around. Looks like you're both just shitty parents."
"That's because you were fucking her."
Billie's hesitation didn't arise from guilt. It was more for theatrical purposes, a dramatic pause to allow the tense air to cool down.
Her bored stare slightly intimidated Gabby. She shifted slightly, clearing her throat.
"I just want to make sure my daughter's safe."
"Me, too." Billie said. "I can't really do that from here, can I?"
"You brought this upon yourself."
Billie's eyebrows rise. "You mean I'm the one who wanted to stay away from her?"
She shakes her head. "You violated our trust-"
"I didn't do anything that she wasn't comfortable with! I didn't touch her without her wanting me to!"
Gabby release a slow breath to calm down. "If I find out she's sneaking out to see you-"
"You'd ground me?" Billie scoffed, then took a step closer. "Are you going to take my phone away, Gabby? Tell your stupid husband I've been shoving my dick up his daughter's pussy?"
Gabby had a look of horror. "What is wrong with you?" she whispered shockingly.
She shrugs her shoulders, then turns to the door to open it.
Billie never thought she'd ever be ready to let Gabby go. She thought that if anything happened to her, her entire world would crash.
But today, she did so without any thought. She never wanted to see her again, because clearly, Gabby didn't care about her. Perhaps, she never did.
"Get out." Billie commands.
"Billie—"
"This is my house, not yours. I don't have to listen to you if I don't want to."
Gabby stills for a moment, but she quickly recovers, taking her bag from the couch.
She comes towards the door, the stands in front of Billie.
"I love you, Billie." she puts a hand on her face, but it's quickly pushed away. Gabby bows her head down. She sighs, then continues. "Vanessa's birthday is coming up. She says she wants you there."
"I'm not allowed back home. But only when you don't need me, I guess."
Gabby frowns at her melancholy tone. She puts her hand on Billie's cheek, regret filling her heart.
"This is hard for me, too." she puts her hand back on Billie's face, connecting their eyes. "I can't welcome you back unless I know for sure that I can trust you with Vanessa. Right now, I can't."
Billie smiles, but it isn't genuine. She nods her head, but not understandingly.
"Thank you Gabby. For showing me that love is conditional." she widens the door. "Now get the fuck out of my house."
But the woman remains standing. "Your mother would want you there." she says. "She loved Vanessa-"
"She loved me!" Billie yelled, banging the door shut in sheer frustration. "The only person who ever loved me is fucking dead! You don't know what my mother would've wanted. If you did, you wouldn't have kicked me out of your house. I am not going back there."
"I do love you. I really, do, Billie, but it's hard to put something like that aside."
Billie kept her head low, wiping off a few tears from her cheek with her arm.
Gabby tilted her head up, staring into her deep blue eyes. "I love you" she affirmed.
The words sounds so honest and sincere, they made her heart flutter. She doesn't hear them alot, perhaps that's why they had such a visceral effect.
Gabby wiped a tear from her cheek, kissing her forehead. Billie shut her eyes as her body relaxed into Gabby's.
"It's just like when we took your TV away when you were using it for too long at night, remember?" Gabby asked placatingly. "It's not because I hate you, it's because I want what's best for you"
Billie didn't care for the ridiculous justification. She was just glad to have Gabby in her arms. She was happy not to be losing one more person from her circle of trust.
She held her tighter, inhaling her scent.
Billie hated her apartment. She hates being alone all the time. She hated not being around Vanessa all the time. She hated having dinner alone. She missed family dinners where everyone would talk about their day.
She would do anything to get all of that back.
"I'll do it." she whispers against Gabby's neck. "I'll never touch her again, I promise. Just let me come back. Please."
Gabby pulled away to look at her. "I don't know if I can trust that."
"I promise. I don't wanna disappoint you. I love you. Please let me come back. I hate this place."
Gabby's hand caressed her cheek, and she shut her eyes momentarily, breathing out a sigh. She leans her forehead against Gabby's, with her hands on her hips cautiously.
Billie leans in slowly, closing the gap between them, joining their lips together.
