When The Heart Already Given Up

Chapter 9: Conflicting Emotions

"Duchess, do you have a dress in mind that you would like to wear at the party tonight?"

When I didn't respond my lady-in-waiting asked me again carefully.

"Ah! Yes."

At that time I came to my senses and looked around. I saw the ladies were looking at me with a worried face. This has been a case ever since the news that Trisha Clem was coming back. I was often lost in thought and the maids seemed to feel sorry for me.

'I need to get my head straight.' Thought to myself.

I couldn't let the rumours that the Duchess of Haze was depressed because the ex lover of her husband is back. I put my head straight up and looked at my lady-in-waiting.

"Yes, go get a more glamorous dress. It has been a long time since I've attended a party with the Duke."

"Yes, Duchess."

This return party was going to be held today at the Baron villa. Rumour has it that her father was so devastated that Trisha left and moved to the neighbouring kingdom. That's why when the news that she was coming back is a great pleasure for the Baron. It was natural for him to throw a party for his daughter, but I don't understand why Reinhart was going there too.

'He really must miss her.'

***

"Reinhart, isn't there no reason for you to go to the party?"

"There's no reason to go as a Duke but it's right to go as a man named Reinhart."

"Ah. 'Reinhart', and not as the Duke."

"Lian, you know that Trisha and I have been friends since we were little. It was not right not to show up to her return party."

He paused, then continued with an irritated voice.

"For God sake it was only a party."

I didn't respond.

"Lian, I'm just going to say hello to her."

He was determined to go.

Would he have gone so easily if he had thought of the gossip that would follow me at the party. I decided to go with him. To protect myself, my honour that he would not protect. Only then I could protect my child. And I want to show them that I am the Duchess of Haze.

'Hah.' A laugh came out at the moment.

If Trisha didn't meet that merchant it would have been her, not me standing by Reinhart now. I feel frustrated. I closed my eyes and exhaled slowly. If I'm having a hard time my baby would feel it too.

Now that I am not alone I need to be very careful. I stroked my still flat belly and said to myself,

'I am sorry, my child. I will be more careful.'

'Moreover , should I tell Reinhart about my pregnancy?'

I have to tell him after the party. I felt sorry for my baby. The fact that I hadn't announced my child's existence was nothing more than confirming that my child was pushed behind me.

I could never win no matter how I tried, Trisha you will always be his priority.