When The Heart Already Given Up

Chapter 1: The Life of a Duchess

I woke up alone again in my bed in this cold place. I've been married to Reinhart for almost two years now. My father is the one who arranged this marriage between us. I happily agreed to this arrangement when I found out that I am to be wed with Reinhart. Not knowing that it will be the most foolish thing I did.

I loved him.

Yes, 'loved'. I regretted the day that I fell for him. A gullible girl that only wanted to know what it's like to be loved. I fell for the sweet talk and kind gesture. I was really naïve and stupid back then. 'Love' is not for me. And I don't deserve it and now I'm really tired and given up hope that someone would ever love me back.

***

Slap.

"Caecilian, I've already told you a dozen times, don't you ever hurt Trisha." Reinhart said after slapping me.

Trisha, is my husband's mistress. They have been together since their teenage years. But because Trisha's from a low ranking family the previous Duke did not approve of their relationship.So in their eyes I'm a thorn in their relationship.

"I'm sorry."

I said without even trying to explain that I didn't do it for the reason that I haven't even seen Trisha since yesterday. There is no longer a need to argue because he is not going to believe me anyway.

"If I ever heard of this again, You're not going to like what I would do with you."

"Okay, I understand Duke."

***

"How have you been Caecilian?"

"I've been good. Thanks to you Lady Trisha."

"I heard that Rein visited you earlier. I wonder what was going on." She said while smirking.

'Rein', so they call each other by their nickname. I just ignored her and walked back to my room. There is no point in having an argument with her. I'm too tired. I just want to rest. It's already night, when I woke up. I fell asleep while reading a book. As I was about to get up I heard my stomach rumble. I gently touched my stomach, as I remembered I haven't eaten anything since morning.

'I should head to the kitchen to see if there is still some food left.' I said to myself as I started to get out of my room. As I walk the dimly lit hallway, I've heard voices of a man and a woman arguing to each other. When I walked closer to their direction to know who's behind those voices I saw Reinhart and Trisha.

"When are you going to divorce her?" Trisha asked with tears falling on her face.

"You need to wait a little bit more, Trish." My husband said to Trisha while consoling her.

"But, I have been waiting for a very long time. I want to be with you as your 'true' wife. I don't want to be treated as a mistress anymore. I want to be your Duchess."

"Please Trish a little bit more, you know you're the only one I love. I never love her so don't need to stress yourself with this matter." Said by my husband lovingly to Trisha.

I started to walk away from them thinking that I should brace myself for the impending divorce. After using me as a substitute now he's gonna throw me away. My feet drag me back to my room. I know longer feel hungry. I feel so cold. Didn't even realise that my tears started to fall.

'It hurts'

Sob. sob. sob.

I thought I already loved him but this really hurt. Anna, I wish you were here with me right now.

'Why, why?' I only wish for happiness and love but all I ever receive is misery. I want to die, I want to give up.