Anything [h.s]

Chapter 43

Harry Styles.
(November 28th)

I feel like crap.

I hate seeing Anna like this, I feel absolutely terrible for the things I've done. There's only so many times I can tell her I'm sorry. Even though she doesn't want to talk to me or be around me since we've moved our relationship to just a work one, I've still been counting down the days, hours, and minutes she'll be back.

I get to see her one last time in four hours. After today I won't see her till next year. God I'll go insane counting the days till seeing her again.

I miss her a lot. I hope she's been doing things for herself, like going out to the farm and being out with the new baby cows or being with her little cousins. But then again with how she's been mentally I'm not sure if she'd want to.

I did cave in and message Peyton asking how she was doing, also begged she wouldn't tell Anna I checked on her. It's not that I don't mind her knowing I just don't want Anna to think I'm checking on her out of petty.

She told me she was doing okay, nothing has really changed.

That was on the first day, then the second day I called Peyton. I need to hear how she talked about Anna.

"Harry there's only so many ways I can till you. She is fine. I know you're worried about her. I just came from her house, she had just gotten out of the shower and was making her something to eat." Peyton explained to me over the phone call.

She sounded more annoyed with me than worried about Anna. However I could tell she wasn't telling me the whole truth— I don't feel like she was, that's a better way to explain it.

I love Anna more than anything, all I want is for her to be okay. I need her to be okay so I can be okay.

Over these past four days I've done a lot of running. I mean a lot. Rather it's long periods or short ones, it's something I can do that seems to keep me sane.

Every time Anna and I part ways I don't realize how much I lean on her for entertainment. When we do it hits me like a bus that I have to find something to keep me going that's not work. You'd think it would be simple to do but it's more challenging than it seems. Which sounds sad, I mean I'm basically saying I don't know what to do with myself without Anna being around.

She is what makes my world go around, no one else could ever do what she has done and is doing for me.

No one could ever replace her. No one could ever be her.

"Are you even listening to me?!" Gemma nippes at me.

I haven't told my mum or sister that I've been constantly checking in with Peyton about Anna.

I huff, "No." I deadpanned.

"Harry, I swear to god!" She yells. "You can't constantly check in on her. You are the reason she is where she is mentally, you need to leave her alone. Let her heal, I know you love her. If you love her as much as you say you do then you will leave her alone."

"Damnit Gem!" I slammed my hand down on my desk, "I can't just leave her alone. I'm in love with her! I have been since I was seventeen."

Shit.

Shock was written all over her face.

I sigh, "Don't, don't tell mum. Please. You know what would happen if she found out." I say.

"I know." She mumbled.

Anna's back!

I've been in back-to-back meetings with Pleasing and trying to figure out dates for next year. So far from what I can see this coming year is going to be packed full with adventure and opportunity. It's going to be a hopeful fun year.