Undeniable Love {Shirbert Fanfic}

Chapter Seven - What it Feels Like to Drown

authors note - um wow! hi!!! it's been... four years (???) since i started this story and that is absolutely insane. i started writing this before my freshman year of highschool as a little 13 year old and now i'm 18, in my freshman year of college! but i want you all to know i've read all your lovely comments and can't thank you enough for the support <3 i want to see if i can continue this story and fire back up my interest in writing so for now, enjoy chapter seven :)

Anne's POV:
The word spit out of Rubys mouth like venom, laced with hate. All eyes are on me as I stand here like a deer in headlights. I have no idea what I could've done to vex Ruby so badly, I've never seen her this furious before. Sweet, little innocent Ruby now glaring at me, from here I swear I can see a glint of red in her eyes. The blood has completed drained from my face and I'm struggling to formulate sentences, only a stutter and a squeak manage to slip out. I feel absolutely paralyzed, Rubys menacing stare locking me in place.
Diana speaks up from besides Rubys bed, rapidly looking back and forth between the two of us, "What do you mean 'her', Ruby?" she asks gently. I can tell she's fearful of worsening Rubys outrage.
"I cannot speak of it. In fact, I will not!" Ruby exclaims, turning her nose up at me and crossing her arms. Everyone looks panicked, not knowing what to do or say in this situation. Well, everyone except for Josie who seems to be thoroughly enjoying the performance. I am usually one for dramatics, but not when I am casted as the villain.
"Anne, I would like for you to leave please. I would prefer to enjoy time with my real friends in peace."
Rubys words pierce through me, ice cold. The way she emphasized real sent such a feeling of shame down my spine, I feel as though I must bathe myself in holy water and scrub myself clean. Sorrow seeps into my gut, my insides feel as though they're in a knot somewhere deep down, unreachable.
Diana promptly gets up, walking over to me and linking our arms. "Anne and I will be taking our leave then, enjoy the muffins". I am still blankly staring, this entire time I've not yet managed to say one thing. My mind is racing with thoughts and yet I find I cannot properly comprehend any of them enough to speak. Diana drags me out of the room quickly, trying to save me from further embarrassment I assume. While walking down Rubys staircase, we hear an eruption of tears and immediate comfort from the girls. I begin to well up, holding myself up against the wall as Diana weakly drags me out of the residence.
As soon as we step outside, I collapse. The shock of events seems to have made me lose control over my own body. I can feel my breaths become shallow and quick as I tense up in my shoulders and neck. Diana immediately kneels down beside me, putting her hands against my cheeks and forehead. I can see her mouthing words at me, but I don't seem to understand a thing she is saying. All I hear is ringing, everything around me seems to fade into blurs and I can't stop myself from shaking. Why is my chest so tight? I can't breathe. I feel extremely dizzy, bile building up in my stomach and chest. I can't breathe. I'm too weak to get up, my arms giving out everytime I attempt to put weight on them. I can't breathe. My pulse is racing and I look up to see an extremely frightened Diana. She's looks as though she's yelling, why can't I hear her? I can't breathe. My vision blurs again and darkness seeps in. Overwhelmed is now all I can think, the nausea and panic sending me into a spiral. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. And then everything goes black.
————————————————————————————
My eyes flutter open, light filtering through. I'm awake. When did I fall asleep? I can't remember what time of day it is, or even what day it is. A throbbing headache comes on, pulsing through me. How did I get so disoriented? "Anne... oh my god Anne you're awake!" I hear from beside me, glancing over to see my lovely Diana at my bedside. The piercing noise of her yells send another shockwave through my skull and I grimace to myself from the pain. Diana engulfs me in a hug, and I can feel her let out a deep sigh of relief. Rushing footsteps are heard from the corridor as my door is slammed open, revealing a very panicked looking Matthew and Marilla. Marilla quickly turns to Matthew, whispering him quick directions. I can see he is hesitant, looking between me and her as he unwillingly takes his leave.
Marilla sits beside Diana, taking me hand in hers. "How are you feeling?" she says, placing a cold hand to my forehead. I recoil from the cold, a sensory overload springing inside of my brain. So much pain and noise and I still have yet to understand what happened.
"I am okay. What happened? Why does my head feel as though it's being split open?" I say with a hoarse voice, squeezing my eyes shut and holding my head in my hands as though to hide from the pain. "You fainted, Anne. You started trembling and couldn't respond to anything I was saying. I was so scared for you Anne" Diana exclaims as she grasps my arm, her face still puffy from crying. I feel so awful for causing everyone such distress, especially after the way Ruby reacted to me. It all comes back in a blur as I remember collapsing, gasping for air while my heartbeat rang in my ears. Marilla squeezes my hand and I look up to see her worried expression. "We've already summoned the doctor. He'll be here to see you tomorrow afternoon".
"I don't know what happened, I couldn't breathe. Even thinking about it, remembering it, it still makes me feel as though I can't breathe" I shakily say, feeling the fear creep back through as I clutch my knees to my chest. Just then a soft knock is heard on my door, and in walks Gilbert Blythe. I can breathe again. The tightness dissolves from my chest and I take a breath so big it feels as though I have been drowning and was only now able to come up for air. He looks at me with gentle eyes, scanning me with concern. "Hi Anne" he says with an exhale, relief evident in his tone. Behind him is Matthew, slightly out of breath as he walks around Gilbert to come next to me. Marilla gives him a nod as she stands up. "I'm going to go get started on supper, fill Anne in on the gaps please" she says, slightly cheekily. Marilla having humor? Who would've thought such an impossible thing would've arose. She walks out of my room, closing the door as I look back to see three pairs of eyes staring at me intently.
"How did I get back home? Last I remember I was in front of Rubys house" I say, my voice mellowed. Diana and Gilbert glance at eachother before Diana opens her mouth to speak. "Gilbert took you home, Anne". I give them both a quizzical look, needing them to elaborate. I can't wait to speak to Diana about this alone. "Gilbert came to Rubys house and found us out front. He immediately rushed to help get you home, we couldn't get you to stay conscious". "Gilbert, why were you at Rubys house?" I question and I see a hint of panic in his eyes. "Well, I was, um, well I was..." I've never seen someone stutter so profusely. This is the man I've been rivaling with!? Diana quickly interrupts his mumbling, "He was coming to check up on Ruby too, just like us!" and they both give me a smile. However I can tell she's not telling the full truth based on the look in her eyes. I decide to let it slide, simply because I am in immense amounts of pain and completely drained. Also, I know I will be probing and prying at her later for more detailed information.
I let out a yawn, stretching my arms before I curl up beneath my covers and settle myself into my bed. Diana prompts everyone to go out so I can rest after the afternoon I had and I am eternally grateful for how understanding she is. I give her a smile as they all head out of my room, Gilbert the last to walk out. He hesitates to close my door as he gives me a look and glances back out the hall. He steps foot into my room again, pulling out an envelope from his back pocket and fiddling with it in his hands. My eyes meet his again as he places the letter on my bedside table. "Read it when you're ready", the soft words & soft eyes providing me comfort. Gilbert Blythe. My Gilbert Blythe. The human embodiment of a warm hug. Staring at him now, in this light, I don't possible understand how anyone could feel one malevolent thing towards him. I don't understand how I ever did. All I see is warmth. His gives me a smile and puts his hand to my cheek before walking out of my room and leaving me to rest.
Maybe I'm still dreaming, maybe I fainted and never woke up. But wherever this is, I never want to leave. The universe in which Gilbert Blythe holds affection for me is the only place I ever want to exist. And then sleep consumes.
————————————————————————————
i hope this chapter was enjoyable, please give suggestions on what i could do better and what you want to see more of! thank you <3