Dalumat

XVII. The Female Gaze

Leni stepped off the plane into the jet bridge with an unhurried stride. It was the beginning of another week, expectedly grueling, but unexpectedly exciting — the way the campaign had been for her so far. Accompanied by her bodyguards and staff, she smiled as she passed by a security guard, who bowed his head as he saw her, and greeted him back when he so politely greeted her, "Good morning, ma'am." When they had left Manila, it was still black out, but as she walked by the tall airport windows, the sun was already up there to greet her, too.

She still had an hour before her courtesy call at the city hall. Her chain of sorties would follow afterwards, one after another.

The walk to the airport exit was uninterrupted. The convoy was already at the driveway, waiting for them. She entered the van quickly; she didn't want to stay there for too long, blocking the way and taking people's attention. To be honest, if she were allowed to do without all this fuss, she would.

"Ma'am, heto na po 'yung schedule niyo for today," one of her staff said, handing her a document.

"Salamat, Juls." Leni gave it a quick once-over. She had already reviewed her schedule on the plane, but it wouldn't hurt to give it one more look.

"At saka double na po."

"Anong double?"

"'Yung room niyo po for tonight."

Leni's eyes stopped their journey on the document for a brief moment, then she flipped the document over, even though she already knew that the back was completely blank.

They hadn't talked to each other since Saturday night, she and Risa.

After their goodbyes, Leni had set her phone down on the coffee table with a shaky breath, the unconfident smile and laughter leaving with it, and even after Risa had sent Leni her schedule as she promised, Leni spent what felt like ten minutes just staring at her phone, only interrupted by Aika coming down and calling her out of her trance.

She didn't really know what to say to Risa after that phone call, and Risa didn't text or call her, either. It wasn't like Risa had any particular reason to, anyway, and neither did Leni. Yesterday, Leni avoided thinking about Risa entirely, concentrating instead on things she needed to do or thought of doing. It was strange somehow — a day completely absent of Risa, in any way or form. She got so used to having her around every single day, or even just to the promise of having her around later.

There were no dreams for Leni, not that night or the night after. Her nerves from that call probably chased the dreams away.

She hoped Risa's silence wasn't because she felt weird about their conversation that night...

She was getting distracted.

And she was overthinking it. She didn't know when this started, where things like this — silences, the possibility of awkwardness — between her and Risa suddenly mattered, when before, such things didn't even enter her consciousness. It was the same last week, too. She didn't know if it made things worse or better.

Leni pulled herself out of the path her mind was inevitably heading to.

Trabaho muna, she reminded herself.

"Thank you," she finally said to her assistant, giving her a quick, approving smile. She looked ahead through the windshield to the highway. Unlike in the metro, the traffic was minimal. Their travel to the city hall wouldn't take ten minutes; they still had plenty of time — time before their first rally, where she would see Risa again.

-

"Sen, dito ka." Chel led Risa to a chair beside him on the stage. It was a small stage, so it was a bit crowded. Two large speakers on either side of it were blasting music. It was so loud that the platform they were on was vibrating a little. Chel was thoughtful enough to offer the seat away from the speakers.