Heathen Chronicles - Changed

Chapter 17 - Choice Made

Raven's POV

I walked back to my room in pain after spending three hours practicing with a very mean training bag and some very motivating music. I waited until the new guard left to change his shift before I snuck back in; I was getting better at this. I wonder if I can use these skills when I go back to school.

As I walked into my room, I felt a wave of comfort radiate toward me and I smiled despite the pain. Peace. I felt a little relieved—home sweet home—and strolled into the bathroom. I turned on the shower as I undressed and connected my iPod to the speaker they had brought in for me. I stepped into the stall and relished the feel of ice-cold water running down my neck and back, chasing the pain out of my body and easing me back into reality. I put my head back and enjoyed every moment, letting out a long sigh of relief. This was exactly what I needed.

I dried myself off as gently as I could, trying not to disrupt any bruises, then went back into my room to dress. On my pillow, I found a note displayed prominently. I looked around to see who had delivered it, but found only shadows and walls. Hesitating, I picked it up and examined it before I read:

Good luck with your match on Monday. I hope you win, but then again, I also hope you don't. This program is not what you think it is. I watched you practice today; I wanted to help, but I am not allowed to be seen by you yet. Be careful. – M.

"Okay, thanks... M. A bit creepy, but sweet at the same time, I guess," I muttered. "And now I am speaking aloud to myself. Great!"

I folded the note carefully and left it on my nightstand before slipping into my pajamas and snuggling into bed. My thoughts were like a herd of wild horses stampeding over the land, and I had no control over them. When the dreams came, I could not stop them.

I was being chased across a long, ominous hallway and through different dark rooms that never seemed to end. I screamed, but no sound came out other than quiet whispers—not my own. I spotted an old closet to hide in, but before I could reach it, I suddenly found myself in my school's field. The dream shifted, chasing me into a desert where the lands were barren. It changed again into a hideous creature that I couldn't name, but it felt familiar. This creature leapt into the air with leathery wings of dark shadows so wide they blotted out the sun.

I ran as fast as I could until I stopped at the edge of a cliff where the ocean was dark and in an uproar. I had to make a choice: face it or jump into the darkness. I waited, my breath fogging the air as a tear rolled down my cheek. I watched another version of myself turn and look back at me. One word echoed between us: CHOOSE. I jumped. The last thing I heard was, "Choice Made."

***

I woke up in a panic and dropped my head into my hands. My head throbbed and sweat raced down my body, chilling me to the bone. My dreams had never been so vivid—so lucid—as if they were actually happening. My mind was playing tricks on me; I feared I would go insane.

I couldn't remember where I was for a moment. This room felt foreign, dark, and dangerous. Someone sat at the end of my bed—no, not someone, something. It slowly turned to face me, sucking out all my energy. It was my nightmare; it had followed me back...

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

My eyes struggled to open. When they did, I spent a few minutes studying the room. I was back in my bunker; safe and sound for now. I hit the alarm and sighed, relieved I no longer had to face the truth of those heart-breaking moments. My head and heart battled for dominance, and the only thing winning was my will to push everything down.

To face the truth: how what happened on that devastating night was my fault. How I felt abandoned by those I needed most because I had pushed them away. How I felt powerless because I knew I deserved it...

Emotions smothered my mind until a soldier barged in to announce that the General requested to see the remaining candidates. I nodded, shook off the last hour of sleep, and got ready. I made my way to where the others were standing around Kyle to wish him luck. I stood to the side, not paying attention to the advice he was being given. The further away he stood from me, the better.

The General made a speech about how he was proud of us and hoped we would never forget our time here. It was the usual speech important people give before delivering bad news. He saluted and dismissed us.

Seeing as we had the whole day to ourselves, I went to the gym. It was surprisingly empty, allowing me to prepare for tomorrow. With no guards to follow me, I pushed myself past my limits. By the end of my fifth hour, I went back to my room, ignoring the odd looks from people I passed. I spent the rest of the day emailing my friends and found out how they had pissed off "Miss Satan" with their artwork.

I laughed, feeling proud of them. They sent me a picture of the painting, which Dr. Harper had ironically put up in the Matrix Hallway. I printed it out and stuck it on my wall as motivation. It was marvelous and original.

***

That night was more peaceful than expected. It was as if my body knew exactly what I needed and gave me rest out of pity. I woke up refreshed for the brutal day ahead. The match wasn't until the afternoon, so I decided to go for a swim. I welcomed the chilling water and the suspension of time that only happens when I swim.

It was time for the match to begin—time for my "ass to be beaten," as I'd heard the others say. Fun times.

I sat on the ground waiting for the famous Kyle to make his appearance. While waiting, the General, Captain, and Right-Hand appeared, seating themselves under a large umbrella with iced water. They nodded a greeting, and I reluctantly returned it. The General glanced at me, and I felt a strong chill skate down my spine. I had to physically shake it off to concentrate.

The Captain got up and walked over in a cool manner. The soldiers parted for him as if he were royalty. I rolled my eyes and looked away. He was wearing his black leather jacket and a white shirt that emphasized his muscles; I gave myself a mental slap for even noticing. He waited until I stood up before he spoke. He was wearing a wide smirk.

"I see that you have been practicing extra hard for the last couple of days."

"Yes, I wanted to be at my best today. SIR."

"You will be. And after today, you won't need to call me sir. I am, after all, only a year or so older than you."

I stared at him in shock. I knew he looked young, but I didn't expect him to be that young. "Then what do I call you?"

"You will find out soon enough. But you could always call me 'sexy'..."

"Hmm... Not gonna happen."

"Ha! I have a bet with the 'Right-Hand-Witch,' as you call her. She thinks you won't last a minute. I think you won't last five, but I do know you WILL win."

"You sound so sure."

"I am. I also just wanted to wish you good luck."

"Thanks. But you are both right and wrong," I countered, catching his interest.

"How so?"

"I WILL win this match. And I WILL last the whole three rounds." I turned to go stretch, then looked back. "And by the way, I am NO ONE'S bet!"

I walked over to the shade of a tree, feeling the Captain's gaze burning into my back. He walked past me and muttered, "Don't fool yourself; you know you will be mine soon. I think one day you will call me a friend, and soon after that, you will call me yours just as I will call you mine."

I watched him walk away, speechless. He returned to the General's side, looking proud. Asshole!

Kyle finally appeared, beaming in a way that creeped me out. He greeted the "High Three" confidently, making the General and the RHW chuckle. The Captain, however, kept his eyes on me the entire time, looking annoyed by Kyle's presence.

The bell rang. It was time for the painful match to begin. I closed my eyes, took a breath, and walked into the ring with my head held high.

Let's get this over with.

Whatever happened now, I was determined to prove them wrong. I would win this opportunity to study here... but was I really doing this for the program, or was I just running away from home?

Do I really want this?