Hate dump, rant etc etc abt Sans Aus stuff y'know😍😋

uhhhh- yh vent💀

Idk ummm mentions of social anxiety. Don't know if anyone gets triggered by this, but I am in no need of complaining Karens. 

So like- I honestly don't even know why I always feel depressed. I mean so far my parents are perfect AKA I have nothing to be depressed about. I go to a good school, my grades are acceptable etc etc. I may feel insecure a lot of times, but let's bffr. Who doesn't. 

I did have heavy social anxiety for a long time. It started when all my friends (like 3 friends) left my class to switch to another class. I didn't have any friends and I just felt humiliated standing among my class. My mom always told me I was just shy and that I should just 'talk to them'. She acts like she knows how it feels when all her life she's been an outgoing person that was the school's favorite student. 

I keep telling her that I find it hard to communicate, but ofc she says I'm just 'shy' and that I need to talk to ppl. I can't talk to ppl when I feel lightheaded after they started a conversation with me. I always felt like fainting on the spot. 

My social anxiety has been less than before luckily. Maybe 'cause I switched classes to a class with some of my friends (not the friends from before btw). But allot of times I do notice it coming back to me, and I just hope I won't have to go through social anxiety again. It was pretty shitty, lol.