Stealing The Bad Boy's Heart

Chapter 10- Accepting Reality

Chapter 10- Accepting the reality

**Evalina's POV**

I skipped school today and sulked the rest of the day inside my room. I didn't eat, I didn't sleep, just stared out into space letting my thoughts wonder, while feeling my aching heart and letting tears fall every few seconds. How stupid of me to believe he could fall for me. How stupid of me for believing that somehow a bad boy could fall for a fat and ugly nerd like me. I walked all by myself towards home last night.

If I could just pause and delete the scenarios, I would without a doubt. My mom seemed to understand my current situation, and she's doing her best to give me enough space to recover. So does my sister. I received a few calls and messages from Taylah, but I don't feel like talking to anyone right now. . . I just want to be alone.

I received a few calls and texts from Damen as well, but I just ignored them. That's another reason as to why I don't want to go to school today. I can't stand seeing him, after what happened last night. It was just too much for me to handle. I rolled over and buried my head to the pillow and let out a muffled scream. The tears followed.

What did I ever do to have this life? Why did I ever let my guard down and fell for a bad boy? Why in the first place did I ever meet him?

I might do well with academics, but with love, I never know.

Love is a pain in the ass. It makes the smartest person alive look so utterly stupid. It breaks hearts, and you have to make fucking sacrifices just for happiness. It's unfair. I might as well die single and happy with 32 cats, than to have trouble with having a love life. So, why did I ever fell for the one person that I never ever even thought of falling in love with in the first place?

Why was I so stupid? Why can't I just accept the reality and move on with my fucking life? I know there's this hope that's holding me and telling me that I can still win his heart. But there's so much to lose, and I can't take it anymore.

People would say just move on. C'mon, we all know that's easy to say but very hard to do. If you're so in love with someone, you can't help but to have a hard time letting go. The mind says to move on, but the heart says hold on.

It's frustrating. It's like there's this tug of war in you, where you want to move on, but hope is tugging you back. And you just keep on getting hurt for the same reason, over and over again. I rolled to my back and just stared up at the ceiling. How can I ever face him now?

I stood up and looked at the mirror. I am such a mess. My wavy brown hair standing in all directions and my almond eyes are red and puffy from crying. I looked paler than before.

If only I looked like a princess or like America Singer from The Selection. A beauty hidden within that's just waiting to come out, but I don't have that. I'm ugly from the outside and there's nothing worth knowing from the inside. I'm worthless. I'm pathetic. I don't deserve anything but pain. I don't deserve anything or anyone at all. I'm born in this world as a mistake, a disgrace. I'm like an ugly duckling next to a beautiful swan.

I walked to my bathroom to clean myself up. I needed some fresh air. The walls were like closing up to me, and I couldn't breathe.