Our Scar's «book2»[EinxAaron]

9. confused

It happened in a flash, Aaron couldn't catch up, his body moved on its own

He couldn't read the look on Ein's face, is he scared? shocked? or disturbed?

He can't tell

But he could feel Ein's hand on his lips, Ein has stop him from getting closer his head was filled with new storming thoughts

"Your drunk..." He hears Ein say "...are you dizzy? We could go back inside... Just uhm" Ein hesitates

he hesitates to speak, Aaron couldn't say anything either, he was tired he was exhausted even though he didn't do anything that could drain him

"Fuck... You won't remember anyway" Ein leans in kissing his hand where it covers Aaron's mouth, Aaron wanted to speak but he couldn't

his heart was pounding, it starts to beat loudly and he didn't know what to do in this situation

But finally, everything blacked out.

Morning came and Aaron was on his bed, he was looking at the ceiling

His head full of questions
He couldn't forget he knew what happened with a clear vision and a mix of dizziness

Did I like it?, the kiss I mean, Aaron was out of place, he'd already done everything to try and forget the scene but it kept repeating forcing him to remember

He can't tell if his heart is racing because he's scared that it happened or if he liked it

But the more he thought about what happened that night, the louder he hears his heart beating he tries once again to shake the thought off, and he gets up and ends up opening his laptop near his bed 

and going straight to google 'what does it mean when you're unsure whether you liked being kissed by the same gender or not?' he searches, some answers are shown but none satisfied him I have always questioned myself about these kinds of things but I never thought of the day that I might question myself once again... Aaron sighs  

desperate for answers Aaron got up and went downstairs to find his sister

seeing Mellisa at the kitchen table reading something, Aaron sighed and approached her "heyy... Mellisa, can I ask you something? It uhm... important" Mellisa look him suspiciously at his movement "okay, what is it bud?" Aaron finally finds the courage to speak up "so I have..been wondering, would you know what it means if you are unsure whether you liked the kiss that your same gender has given to you or not?" surprised by this Mellisa took a moment to process 

"wait... are you questioning yourself again?" Aaron nods "kind of? but I'm not sure" Mellisa takes a few seconds to respond "ah... that's a hard one, I said the same thing before but it took me ten years worth my living even to realize I was a lesbian" Aaron frowns disappointed by the answer "though I did have a simple answer if I wasn't sure back then, id flirt with girls or make out with some of them when I was legal enough to go in gay bars something like that" 

Aaron's eyes widen "that!...doesn't help at all..." Mellisa gives him a look, then realized "oh...right, you don't go for the hookup stuff sorry" Aaron becomes gloomy "nevermind I'll just go but before I do what does the pink, purple, and blue color in a flag mean?" Mellisa answers right away "it's bisexual! why'd you ask?" she asks "nothing, I just saw one earlier when we went karaoke night that's all"

Aaron leaves the kitchen to go back upstairs, Aaron is aware of the community he just doesn't get involved much in there, instead, he lived his life since the community doesn't bother him, though he did get confessions from guys his age but had to reject them all since he doesn't know them personally 

now back in his room his head filled with raging unanswered questions, he didn't see the day he'd ask Garroth for some help, but he'd do that later, he first searched 'what does bisexual mean?' his answer is surprisingly here, but he still wasn't sure 

'bisexual people can still get in hetero relationships due to their preferences it can be 10/50 at times but most commonly 50/50' he was a bit satisfied but this wasn't enough he needed more answers, and his feelings for aphmau had come back

but what is this new feeling? 

a feeling that he already experienced but this new, it was louder than before when he was looking at aphmau

still scrolling through the searches and meanings of bisexual Aaron finds himself...buying a flag of it, he was somehow taking a liking to the flag, and he feels like it suits him, but before that gets confirmed he first needs to know 

why is his heart pounding louder and louder the more he thinks of Ein more then aphmau 

he turned off his laptop and took a towel, I'll wash first, maybe that'll clear my head, for now, he sighs and prepares his clothes, and finally leaves the room

-

at Val's apartment Ein can be seen on the couch facing the ground with a blank stare of regret and shame Val on the other hand, was laughing her ass off "Fuck- say it again!"

"I kissed him thinking he might not remember yet earlier this morning he texted me asking about the kiss..." Val was cackling at the ground "DAMN MY STOMACH HURTS BWAHAHHAHA" 

Ein falls sideways on the couch dreadfully crying on the inside.