𝐼 𝐶𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝐴𝑛𝑦𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 [𝑬𝒅𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈]

chapter seventeen

I hadn't known what I was doing anymore. I was more than excited to move in with Alejandro, experience the whole perks of living with my own boyfriend. But with him being busy with work and me working as well, things had been off more than I thought and I wanted to talk to him I just didn't know when. I had figured today would be perfect seeing how I had gotten myself prepared and everything, sitting at the dining table just waiting for him to walk in. And when he did I had anticipated everything, because I didn't know how this would go.

"Take a seat... please" I had told him and he did willingly, setting his phone down on the table. It wasn't late, probably around eight pm and I wasn't tired more like wide awake and ready for our talk.

"Are you okay baby?" He spoke softly and his words felt like something I hadn't heard in a while.

"No. I'm...not. When we moved in I wanted this to work, I wanted us to be this....perfect couple who could conquer anything and trust each other and be there for each other. I really wanted to be that couple. But.... Alejandro I don't know what we're doing" I suck in a breath as those words spill out, my eyes feeling wet and damp, I knew I would cry..I didn't want to but I probably would.

"Anna what are you saying?".

He was perched forward, leaning in cautiously. 

"It's been two months Alejandro. Within those two months I feel like...I'm losing you. You're so busy with work, you don't text or call to let me know your okay. Everything has changed since you walked out on our date night. And that night...I had never seen that side of you before...it..scared me seriously. I feel like..we're slipping away from each other and you don't care".

He's taken back, more offended than hurt as he eyes me, crossing his arms in front of his chest. Instead of speaking...he smirks, a half smirk as he just...watches me.

"Well?" I was getting more upset than irritated, upset he didn't take this seriously. Didn't he?

"Look Anna..I didn't mean to walk out that night first off, so stop holding a grudge on me. Second, my work is important to me okay? I love my work and spend alot of time there because it's my damn job. Third, I do apologize for being distant but..I can't just drop everything because you want me to or because you feel like I am distant. I'm not distant I'm just fucking....trying not to lose my shit okay?" He's angry, angry with me. His tone is sharp and filled with edge and I don't know what to make of this tone..or him. I just...missed my boyfriend...I did.

"Well sorry for fucking talking about how I feel...is that too much for you? Seriously what the fuck happened with you?" I cross my arms and something in him..snaps completely, I can see it in his eyes. there's a flicker of danger and fiery that I hadn't seen since that night... It disappears as quickly as it comes as his eyes flash with worry, completely transforming. It's as if it's an act...or a mask he's wearing.

He stands, scooting back his chair and keeping his eyes on me the entire time.

"Come here" he speaks, his tone softer, quieter.

I stand, and stand in front of him, not meeting his eyes.

"I'm sorry...baby I am. I'm..trying to be a better boyfriend, a better guy. I am..I just...need you to trust me on this, whatever it is. Okay? Please?" He cups my face and I'm like pudding in his embrace, letting into his touch. I nod and he lifts my chin to meet his eyes and there, right here was Alejandro, my boyfriend. It's in his eyes, his beautiful eyes.

"I love you..more than anything".

"I love you too" I smile and he leans in, kissing me softly, a soft passion blooming in the air between us. He holds me closer, hands slipping around my waist. his body is warm against mine and I pull him into me completely, his lips never leaving mine. In my head I told myself over and over I believed him, but I could hear something different pounding in my heart.

"So?" Austin hands me a warm cup of coffee the second I walk into the shop, eyeing me the whole time. Working with him had been both fun and torturous because his ego and personality had gotten in the way of literally everything so I can never take him seriously.

"..it went okay" I told him and he sighs dramatically.

I had told him I was going to talk to him, I came to Austin with just about everything that happened because he was just that nosy and invested in everything that I did. He was like one of those people at school who wants all the drama.

He enjoyed it.

"Are you two okay?" He asks me, biting into a blueberry scone he had grabbed from the back.

"I think so.? I feel better talking to him so...that's something".

He nods and offers me a piece which i take and eat graciously.

I should be talking to Carol, I haven't talked to her in weeks, she just hasn't answered me so I figured I'd let her do her and not bother her. My dad has been checking in constantly and I let him know I'm okay from time to time, I don't want him to worry. I find myself spending more time with Austin than anything or anyone else which is strange to admit but he's actually a really good listener.

"I'm glad you two are okay, hopefully things do get better for you both. If not then...oh well more drama for me" he smirks and I smack his arm, causing him to yelp like a girl and jump away from me.

"Anna" a voice makes me jump and I turn to realize it's not Austin whose calling me..

It's Alejandro.