𝐼 𝐶𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝐴𝑛𝑦𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 [𝑬𝒅𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈]

chapter twenty

Alejandros pov

I had caught him during my drive by the coffee shop, I didn't expect him to be working late without Anna but I knew she was exhausted, and I knew this would be the right time. I had let my anger control me and found myself hitting him as hard as I could, using all the strength in my hands. Threats and words flew out of my mouth and it's all a blur as I drink a shot of tequila, chugging it down and ignoring the burning sensation as it ran down my throat. I was at a bar, getting drunk. I didn't love alcohol but it was the only thing I drank to cloud my mind and damn did it work.

Something...had changed in me. Yeah. I didn't realize it until I saw Anna's boss, that's when I had...shifted. I felt myself pull away mentally from her, finding myself letting my emotions control me rather than me. My brain was so foggy most of the time I didn't even know what was happening. Anger and fury feel like the only emotions running through my body lately and I didn't know what to do but to lean into it, embrace it. Most of the time I didn't want to but it was the only thing I could do. I still loved Anna so fucking much but it was more of a possessive love, a type of love I couldn't let go of. I didn't want anyone to look at her, work with her, talk to her, smile, anything. Because she's mine and I didn't want that whatsoever, I probably sounded crazy...and I am.

Crazy for her.

My phone rings and I check it to see it's Anna. I let it ring before answering.

"What?" I slur, I was drunk completely, more woozy and dizzy than anything.

"Get home. Now it's an emergency" and with that I was on my way, not driving of course but taking a Lyft. She sounded serious, and I didn't know if I liked it or felt bad for her because she didn't know what was coming.

Walking through the door my mind pounds harder and harder as I find her sitting on the couch, waiting patiently. She didn't look angry thank goodness.

"What?".

She turns around and stands up, walking towards me.

"You...I can't believe you" she scoffed and I nod, taking in her tone. She was angry, and I let her become angry. For a second because I could get angrier, I just didn't want it to get that far.

"What? Are you upset about something?" For some reason I felt like laughing, she looked so adorable glaring up at me, angrier than I've ever seen her. She looked confident in her words.

"...you think this is funny? Seriously? Hurting innocent people?" She sneers, glaring at me. I could feel my anger beginning to boil and I tried my best to calm down, tried to reason with her. She had a right to be upset but so did I.

"Seriously Anna I'm tired and wanna go to bed -"

Within an instant she shoves me back hard, causing me to loose my footing and stumble back but  luckily catching my balance in time.

"You asshole! Seriously what is wrong with you?? Why are you suddenly a whole different man?? Where is Alejandro? Who is this asshole whose impersonating my boyfriend?" She yells and I could feel my anger burst, stepping forward towards her.

"You wanna try that again?" I ask her, stepping right in front of her. She's breathing heavily and so am I as we stare at each other, completely out of breath. I had so many things running through my brain and all I wanted to do was reach my hand out...but I couldn't move.

"No. I...I don't" she stammers and she's backing down, lowering her eyes.

"Good. Don't do that...ever. don't put your fucking hands on me like I'm some toy okay? And the guy.. you're boyfriend? I'm right here, so what the fuck are you talking about?".

She's suddenly got this boost of confidence, looking back up at me, raising her chin.

"Yeah?" With that she sends a hard slap across my face, leaving a sharp sting on my cheek. The impact is strong, so strong it takes me a second to recover before I blink, coming back into focus. I couldn't control my anger anymore, completely shutting my mind off. My hands grab her wrists as I hold them down, glaring right into her eyes. I grip her tightly, towering over her, not letting her go not loosening my grip, just holding her. She yelps in pain as she struggles but I don't move.

"Don't..." I huff out and she's staring into my eyes with completely fear, and I find myself smirking, the feeling of her towering beneath me sending shivers down my body. I hadn't known I.. would like this so much...seeing her weak and terrified.

"I'm..." She breathes out, completely baffled.

"You..are mine Anna. I'm sorry I..had to go through extreme measures just because I didn't trust your boss, but I did what I did to let you know I love you..and will do anything for you. So stop being ungrateful and recognize who the fuck has been by your side this whole time. Got it?".

She nods and her eyes fill with tears, her body trembling with fear.

"I understand".

I let her go and could see redness surrounding her wrists.

"Good..now...get some rest."

She leaves without saying anything and I could feel my heart picking up faster as everything that just happened replays through my mind. Seeing her scared and trembling..was...not as bad as I thought..