TEST ME, ALPHA| TAEKOOK

|22. DAY OF COLORS PT.3|

Jungkook wondered if colors were always this bright under water. It was probably the moon. Or taehyung lightly splashing water against his legs and giggling after.

"Jung hyuk," Or the way he calls his name.

One more time, and Jungkook thinks he can believe that is his name too. "hmm," he splashed some water back onto taehyung's feet, soaking the fabric rolled up a little above his ankles.

"What is your favourite colour?" Taehyung was still looking at the colours dissolving in the water from their feet as he spoke, his frame lit a dazzling gold from a lamp nearby.

"I don't know, I haven't given it much thought"

"Really? Not even once?" Taehyung looked at him, eyes wide, lips parted in disbelief. Suddenly Jungkook hated the mundanity of his childhood. "We played with colors all evening, you still don't have one?"

He shrugged, and thought of all colours he had dipped his hands into this evening.

"What is the colour you always wore when you were a kid?"

Jungkook doesn't remember. All reminders of his childhood left now are mostly just exhaustion. But Jungkook stares a little longer into the pond, the fading colors from their feet and his mother's purple drape gets summoned into his head. It plagues his memory so fast, Jungkook thinks he can feel the soft satin underneath his fingers.

"I don't have any colour I wore often as a kid, but I had this purple drape," he smiled, the memory of discovering it the first time when he snuck into his father's chambers repainting before his eyes. "It was my mom's. I found it in my father's room, I don't even remember why I was there"

There is no lump in his throat, no itch behind his eyes. Jungkook had always been afraid this day will come, where he won't miss his mom like the day he did when he found out about his wolf.

"I don't even cry anymore. She is just a painting framed in my father's room, like the one of Bercahaya you have in your library"

Taehyung was looking at him, he didn't need to look to know. Jungkook kicked his feet underneath water, making waves ripple through the pond's surface. "You know I'll know if you pity me even in your thoughts, right?"

Taehyung wrapped a palm over his knuckles, and ran a thumb over the blisters there. He suddenly felt like turning back into time just to smoothen them out. "I still remember the time I went on a ship with my father. That's the only memory I have of him anymore"

Taehyung looked away, and his fingers tightened around his palm.

"Sometimes I try to close my eyes and remember his smile when he said 'appa has caught two fishes taehyung-ah'" Jungkook caught taehyung's eyes falling shut, "but I don't remember the build of his jaw anymore, I -I even forgot the colour of his eyes. I hate that mine aren't the same as his. Nothing about me is like him, hyuk, I look at a stranger in the mirror everytime I try to find him" Taehyung looked into him when he said what he said next.

"I only have pity for myself, hyuk"

Jungkook didn't have anything wise to tell, so he held taehyung's hand tighter.

They sat there like that, occasionally kicking the water, throwing pebbles. Taehyung was back to smiling again, his cheeks lifted up near his eyes. Jungkook had to hold back from asking for 'just one bite'

He failed, taehyung threw his head back and laughed instead of replying. Jungkook didn't mind, he felt much better than what he would've if he had actually bitten his cheeks, now a faint pink.

"jung hyuk," the first thing up on his list when he goes back home is a name changing ceremony, Jungkook decided. "Do you think I would've still liked you if you weren't my mate?"