My Beautiful Life

New Life is Born

Three agonizing months went by; and the only sign of life was my baby girl kicking inside me. It seemed like everything else around me was dead... especially me. My Best Friend, Sydney had spent the majority of the last few months by my side, but I was still numb!
I had no clue as to what I was supposed to be doing at this stage of grief.. There was after all No Guide Book on how to grieve. There was counseling, yes. But I had already been and it was really hard on me and I would rather just grieve at my own pace. Sydney, always had a way of making me feel a little bit better even if it was just for a little while. A drive up the mountains, a trip to the park; or even trips to get ice cream.
It was January 3rd, and I woke up to feeling a wetness underneath me. Panicked, I yelled."Sydney!  I think my water broke!" I began to try to scoot myself to the edge of the bed, when Sydney ran in the room."It can't be a busted pipe; your dad fixed it!" She exclaimed; apparently not fully aware that 'It was Time'! I groaned and held on to the bed post as I lifted my body off the bed. "No Sydney; My Water Broke.. It's Time for the hospital.." I replied moaning in pain as I tried Lamaze breathing to calm myself.

We made preparations and got everything for the Baby in the car before moving me to the car. I slowly, and carefully got into the front seat and buckled up."Syd, How long until we get to the hospital? I do not want to have this baby in the car.." I questioned as she had got into the car; feeling the car start, I tried to relax as best as I could with The Pressure I was feeling; but it was hard. Doing Lamaze Breathing, I focused on My Daughter and what she would look like. I pictured her to Look just like Lucas; Hazel Eyes, with Dark Brown Hair with the most precious dimples to her smiling face.

Just about 40 minutes later, We had finally arrived at the hospital and Hopefully I could focus more. My mind was racing and it felt like I was going a Hundred miles per hour. The doctors came out and took me inside while Sydney checked me in and brought in the bag. "We will be in room 137. And your friend will be up in a moment." One of the Nurses told me as they wheeled me away and to my room.

This made me so nervous; Because I hadn't stepped foot in a hospital since My Husband's passing. It brought back so many feelings; Again it felt like a weight was pressing me down like I couldn't breathe. But I knew I had to do this for Our Baby!