With You

Chapter 13

Not long after their conversation regarding some steps they might be taking towards the future of their relationship—to include Obi-Wan revealing to the council the nature of their relationship—Anakin arrived at her quarters.

They'd decided that privacy would be good for the conversation they wanted to have with Anakin, and her quarters were large enough to host a breakfast meeting. Obi-Wan had ordered food, which should be arriving just a bit later.

"Anakin!" Cecilia exclaimed as she embraced him again. "I know I said this yesterday, but it's just incredible how you've grown up."

Anakin blushed, which brought a smirk out of Obi-Wan and a grin out of Cecilia. "I brought you a surprise," the young man said with a grin.

"Oh? What's that?"

He motioned back towards the door and just then a droid came rolling in. "R4!" She gasped and knelt down to pat the droid on the dome. She looked up to Anakin. "If you have R4, that means—"

"Your ship is safely on one of the Temple air pads."

She lept back up and hugged him. "That's wonderful! Thank you, Anakin."

Obi-Wan cleared his throat. "It was my idea to retrieve your ship and droid."

Cecilia grinned. "Thank you, Obi-Wan." She knelt back down to the droid. "And thank you, R4— you saved my life getting that message sent to Obi-Wan just as I instructed."

The droid beeped out a response.

"Yes, R4—you deserve some rest."

The droid moved to a corner of the room and went into a sleep cycle.

Obi-Wan motioned for Anakin to sit across from him. "Breakfast will be here soon. Join us, Anakin—I have some things I'd like to discuss with you."

"Oh boy—last time he said something like that to me, I was getting berated for un-Jedi-like behavior." Anakin groaned as he found a seat at a third round chair that had been brought out.

"Nothing like that, my Padawan."

" Former Padawan," Anakin corrected him.

"Yes, yes," Obi-Wan said with an eye-roll. Cecilia chuckled at the banter between the two.

Once they were all settled in, Obi-Wan took a deep breath and began. "Anakin, I— I owe you an apology."

The surprise from Anakin was hardly masked. "For what, Master?"

It wasn't lost on Cecilia that for a young man who did his best to correct Obi-Wan at calling him Padawan—he was quick to call him Master.

Cecilia could feel Obi-Wan's anxiety and send calming waves within the Force towards him. "Just start at the beginning, Obi-Wan." She said out loud, as gentle as she could.

Obi-Wan took a deep breath. "Well, if I'm to start at the beginning—that would be the beginning of us..."

"'Us'?" Anakin questioned, looking between Obi-Wan and Cecilia. Suddenly his eyes grew wide. "Wait..."

"Slow down, Anakin. I'll get there—I promise." Obi-Wan interrupted what he knew was the train of thought Anakin had jumped to quickly.

"When I was just a youngling in the temple, I met a young girl named Cecilia Quin," Obi-Wan began the story, turning to smile at Cecilia fondly. "Looking back now, she reminded me much of you as a young one, Anakin. Emotional, rebellious, bewildering..."

Cecilia rolled her eyes. "Exciting, Fun, Cute..."

"Utterly bewildering," Obi-wan smirked back. "At any rate, we became fast friends. And a Force bond formed between us that until years later we didn't realize was unlike any other friendship. When we were taken on as Padawans by Master Qui-Gon and Master Lin, they continued to have us train together, study together, and allowed us to continue our friendship."

"Okay," Anakin said slowly. It seemed he'd decided to allow his former Master to take his time in this story, and was listening carefully. Cecilia smiled proudly at the young man, exceedingly happy that he'd chosen to be quiet instead of prodding Obi-wan along.

"How much do you remember about the beginning of our time as Master and Padawan, Anakin?"

"You mean—when Master Qui-Gon was killed?" Obi-Wan simply nodded, and Anakin continued. "I remember being sad. I remember...feeling... your sadness. I remember his funeral. You telling me that you were going to train me." He paused and his eyes squinted together as he seemed to go back to those memories. "I remember coming back ot the Temple. How overwhelming it was to be thrown into this new life. I remember meeting Ceci and her helping me along in those early days."

Obi-Wan nodded and decided that was the moment to continue the story. "Before the mission to Naboo ever began, Cecilia and I were just beginning to understand that our bond was something much more than friendship. Obviously the Jedi teachings on attachment and possessiveness conflicted with what we both felt from our bond to each other." Obi-Wan paused, glancing up from where he had been staring at his own hands to Anakin, half expecting to see a smirk or smile—instead seeing deep interest and concern for him that made his heart swell.

"Go on, Obi-Wan. I'm listening," Anakin said quietly.

Obi-Wan swallowed. "When I returned to the Temple with you—I was grieving—deeper than I ever anticipated. Deeper than I admitted. And if I'm honest, deeper than I thought was appropriate based on all I'd been taught. And when I looked at Cecilia and considered my bond with her, all I could think was... if I was grieving this deeply over my Master. How much more terrible would it be if and when I lost her. This I decided, was why the Jedi should not have attachments. Instead of exploring and working through my feelings, I but a barricade around them, but a wall up between myself and Cecilia, and pushed her away."

Both Obi-Wan and Cecilia had tears stinging at the corner of their eyes, and when they looked to Anakin they were a bit surprised to see he seemed to be the same. "Is—is that way you left, Ceci?" Anakin asked her in a whisper, turning to her.

She took a deep breath. "That—was the catalyst. But not the entire reason," she said.

He sensed that she wasn't going further, and just nodded, then looked back to his Master. "But why are you apologizing to me, Obi-Wan?"

"Because...." Obi-Wan tried to gathering his thoughts into clear, cohesive thoughts. "Because your training was deeply reflective of my own fears. I feared my feelings, and so I pushed you to suppress yours. I feared attachments, and so I urged you to flee from them."

Anakin considered his Master carefully. "It seems, Master, that you simply taught me when the Order and the Code have guided you to."

Obi-Wan frowned a bit, and stood, moving to the window to look out over Coruscant thoughtfully. "Yes, well—perhaps I could have been more... flexible."

Anakin's eyes widened at that confession. He stood and walked over to his former Master's side. "Obi-Wan... are you leaving the Order?"

Obi-Wan sighed and turned, giving his former Padawan—his friend, his brother—as strong a smile as he could. "No." Then he considered his own answer further and rested a hand comfortingly on Anakin's shoulder. "Though, in complete honesty with you, Anakin, I should add—No, not yet. Cecilia's return has... led me to reconsider my feelings and be more open to them. I love her, Anakin, and I will no more deny that love than you do for Padme."

Anakin's eyes widened further, "Master, I—"

Obi-Wan shook his head and held his hand out to stop Anakin. "Anakin—that is not the discussion we are having right now. I don't know everything, but I am not blind or foolish enough not to see and know that you are the Senator are secretly together—in what capacity and to what level of seriousness I do not know."

"So—what now?" Anakin questioned.

Just then, the chime of Cecilia's door rang and she chuckled. "Now, we have breakfast!"

Over breakfast the three laughed and enjoyed each others company. Cecilia regaled them in stories of some of her solo adventures, and Obi-Wan and Anakin shared a few stories of their own.