With You

Chapter 3

In those months following Qui-Gon's conversation with Obi-Wan, the Padawan had spent much time meditating and allowing himself to consider his Master's words. He'd even done some of his own research on the subject of the origination of the Jedi Code against attachments. He'd allowed himself to freely observe Cecilia not just through the strict eyes of friendship and acquaintance but of what he really was—someone who was attracted to both her inner and outer beauty. She was fiery and they both shared a quick wit. She had a rebellious streak that reminded him of his own Master. She was both his best friend and the most beautiful creature he'd ever seen on any planet.

What was even more remarkable to him was that he'd caught her similarly observing him. Her watchful gaze more than just a haphazard glance—more like... studying him.

So when she came to him excitedly on one day, informing him of her upcoming trials into Knighthood, he couldn't help but hug her and lift her, spinning her around. "That's wonderful, Cecilia! There's no one more ready for the Trials than you!"

They stood there, for a split second, him with his arms around her, her hands resting on his chest, before they both realized the position they were in and stepped back. Their cheeks matched in their redness. Attempting to redirect the awkwardness, Cecilia spoke up. "You are just as ready, Obi-Wan. Probably more ready. I am certain Master Qui-Gon will be bringing you before the Council before you know it."

Obi-Wan sighed. "Not too soon, though. We are being called away—to a planet called Naboo—to assist with negotiations between the Naboo and the Trade Federation."

Cecilia frowned in playful disgust. "That sounds dreadfully boring."

Obi-Wan nodded in agreement as they both plopped down on the sofa in his quarters. "I'm sure it will be." After a moment of silence, he turned towards her, tucking one knee under himself and resting his arm on the back of the sofa—his hand mere inches away from her shoulder, he noticed. "But you —you'll be here—completing your trials. I—" He fumbled over his words. "I'm so proud of you, Cecilia."

She blushed again. "Thank you, Obi-Wan. Of all the opinions and praise I could receive—yours means a great deal to me. More than you'll ever know."

They sat in silence, staring into each others eyes, as if willing each other to hear what the other was thinking without daring to open up their connection in the Force to speak to each other telepathically. In the past when they'd done so, it had normally been just to whine to each other about their Masters while they were supposed to be quietly studying in the library. But they'd also come to sense each others day-to-day emotions and feelings over the years. If one was having a bad day, the other was quick to notice before every drawing near within the Temple. If one was injured, the other was at the Healing Center without ever receiving word verbally.

And that was why now they both had their walls shut tight around their minds, they didn't dare reveal the thoughts and feelings of their hearts.

After a few more moments of silence, Cecilia sighed and looked away and Obi-Wan couldn't help but catch the hint of sadness in her eyes. "Well—I—I suppose I should be going,"

She started to get up and quickly his hand came to her arm, holding her still. "Wait!" Her eyes were locked on where his hand was at her arm for several moments before she looked up at him. He swallowed and continued. "When I get back, we should—we should talk. About—about us."

"Us?" she asked, her voice trembling and breathing unsteady.

He nodded. "We never talk about it. About our—our bond. But soon we won't be Padawan's any more, and Master Qui-Gon seems confident the Force is at work in our bond."

She nodded back. "I—I feel it. I know it is. But—what about the Order? The Code? It's so important to you, Obi-Wan."

He searched her eyes. "And it isn't for you?"

"I..." she couldn't seem to find the words.

"I know you've been researching the Code, it's history—I saw that book about the Grey Jedi... Cecilia, is there something you aren't telling me? You seem excited to be becoming a Knight."

She swallowed. "I am excited to be completing my training. I am excited that you will be soon as well. I am—I want to have that talk about our bond. I want us to figure it out together. It just—it makes me think... a lot... about why the Jedi have a rule against attachments, but the Force has given us such a strong one."

He nodded. "I know."

They were both silent, eyes unable to reach each others in the awkwardness that had settled over them—and only in that silence did Obi-Wan realize he still held onto her arm and that his thumb had been gently stroking it.

He dropped his hand from her and at the loss of contact, she quickly stood. "When do you leave?" She asked, still not quite able to look at him again.

"Tomorrow morning.... Early."

She nodded and stood, walking towards the door. Only when she stood in the now open door did she stop and glance back. "Hey, Obi?"

He stood quickly, hoping to leave things on a happier note as he looked at her, hoping she'd look at him, hoping he could communicate with his eyes what he felt in his heart. "Hmm?"

She glanced to the ground and back up to him. "Be safe, okay? I—I wouldn't know what to do if something happened to you." It was the most she could muster of her courage at that moment.

He took the words and wrapped them tight within his own Life Force, at that moment deciding to embrace what they meant for them both. "I will. I promise. I'll come back... to you." He said, and at the last words she looked in his eyes one more time and they both gave each other shy smiles before she walked out the door.