Average

Chapter 1

I can't remember the last time I actually did something with my life. I've always just sat here moping about how the world sucks and somehow end up calling myself fat. Well it's not like there isn't truth in that, have you seen the world? We're pretty fucked up. Im in eleventh grade and I feel like I have more responsibilities than most adults do.

I lay in bed thinking that school will somehow magically disappear in place, but who doesn't get those thoughts. I always end up having five minutes to leave and get to class on time, but I'd rather stay under the warm smooth blanket listening to my mom yell at me.

"Get up and go to school before I make you!"

I always respond with the same exact words that get me walking. "Make me."

Everything changes; my mood, my facial expression, and my physical appearance. All this due to a school I really have no care for. Yet I get up and get ready like I'm actually looking decent. I have no interest in impressing anyone, but I always tell myself that and then I see her.

"Kristen Shay," I'd tell myself. Blue eyes and flawless flowing hair in the bright yellowish sun. Then it hits me like a punch to the throat.

"I have a girlfriend and I'm thinking about her." While I realized that I hadn't kept that in my head, a dozen eyes stared so confused and I tried not to look back, but my peripherals held me from straining forward. The funny thing was that out of the rubble of people I managed to see her and not Jane.

Jane wasn't the happiest person inside, but she always tried not to let it bother her. Of course I was one of the people that noticed the discomfort. I mean I am her boyfriend after all, how could I not notice? She had dark brown eyes, long black brown hair, and braces that fit her huge smile. She'd always tell me that her braces held back her smile, yet she seemed to maintain one throughout the whole day.

The bell rang and I walked to class dragging my fingers across the hallway walls. I don't really know why I was, knowing the walls were completely dirty. They were full of posters that nobody payed attention to, class president, mock trial, senior get togethers, and what not.

My first period class always drove me completely insane. It's fifty minutes long and for some apparent reason it feels like an eternity. It could be the way Mrs. McCormick starts a lesson and ends it with something that has nothing to do with what we're talking about whatsoever. Yet somehow I manage to get through it.

Jane always waits patiently outside of her classroom for me to pick her up and walk her to her next class. My face is always the same mostly, a dark semi-smile curved at its corners with one dimple on my left cheek.

"How was your morning?" Asked Jane.

"Well technically the morning isn't over and so far it's always the way it is with the same people, " I replied.

"Stop being a smart-ass and just enjoy your day for once, you're always in a bad mood, don't I make you happy?" It's not that she didn't make me happy. I just wasn't a very happy person most days with her. We ended up talking that night about how her family sucks so much and how she gets treated like a child. Her sister recently had a baby and her mind was set on how disappointed she was in her. She kept telling me that she was never going to see her since she had to go live with her boyfriend Brent.

"Antonio, what if I don't see her and she just forgets about me?"

" You need to relax and just know you're still going to see her." I really don't know what came over her, but she snapped.

"I can tell by the tone in your voice that you don't care at all, bye." I just paused in silence trying to think of what I did wrong and slapped myself into reality to only see the outcome of telling myself that I did nothing, but help. The next day she acted as if nothing was wrong and it bothered me down to the bitter bone. Yet I still said nothing for her to comprehend that I was furious. She had left early from school and I knew because they announced her name over the school speaker or whatever they call it.

"Jane Terrence please report to the attendance office." *speaker shuts loudly*
She didn't tell me and that had gotten me so angry that I chose to ignore it. I texted her and told her that I wanted to talk to her during lunch before they called her up. I called her afterschool and she immediately answered with a question.

"What did you need to talk about?" She asked curiously.

"I just needed to say that I'm done with this relationship." There was a sudden grasp for air in her breath and she answered with an uneasy voice.

"Can I know why?" After she replied with those words I froze and just gave her the biggest lecture on how it wasn't time for us.

Well let me tell you now that she took it to the heart and I was left to look like an asshole after all she was going through, but it had to be done. I sometimes ask myself why I do the things I do, But it's just me.