Average

Chapter 2

A week has passed and I've seen no sign of Jane anywhere at school and I was glad knowing I didn't want to work things out the way she did.

My group of friends stared at me while I walked towards them laughing and screaming out, "Ayeeeeee!" Since I decided to hang out with them.

All I could feel was their hands slapping my back with welcome movements. I laughed and smiled telling myself that this was the feeling I wanted.

We had all made plans during lunch to hangout afterschool. After all, it was a Friday and what kind of friends don't hang out on weekends? And I guess you can say that we had a different type of definition for hanging out. Most of the time we would smoke pot and laugh about ridiculous things. It was me, Frank, Hector, and Victor. Frank was the closest to me out of all of them and he was the type of guy to make everyone laugh, yet somehow most people at our school seemed to think otherwise.

The only thing about smoking with them was that it was an everyday thing and I had to remember why I started this in the first place. My grandma died a few years back. The last thing I could remember was her telling my uncle Jeff her arm was tightening up. She gripped her chest as tightly as someone grips a ball before throwing it. I stood there and thought nothing of it.

"She's coming back right mom? She's been there dozens of times."

"I can't say much for now just hang in there." Yet I was fine, postively reassuring myself she'd return in better condition.

She never did.

It was the last time I saw her. I looked at her and all I could bare to focus on was her pain. The quiet subtle pain that was killing her slowly and surely.

I remember that a few days after this Heaven called me and told me it was over. Heaven is my ex-girlfriend. I thought at the time my life was over. I fell into depression and the only alternative I had was pot.

Frank knew I wasn't myself then and all that could help me was pot. Green, crumbling, life calming pot. Two years passed and I'm still here smoking with Jane. The only thing that ever stopped me was Kristen Shay.

I was calling her and texting her every night I was with Jane until of course I broke Jane the news. When Kristen found out she immediately concluded to the reason for our departure was her.

"Antonio how could you do such a thing!" She yelled.

"What are you talking about?"

"You broke up with her and left her looking like a fool thinking she could actually trust you!"

"Relax. She'll be fine without me, this is better for her."

"Whatever Antonio." I don't really know why she was angry, I was fine and that's what bothered her most. Yet she consistently assumed that I was sad and that I had made a mistake. I was done proving to Jane that I cared. I understood that her life gave her reasons not to trust people, but all I ever did was be there for her.

A month passed and Kristen had not forgotten, but she learned to just let it be. She couldn't do much either way and she knew it. Our conversations got intimately fused with the concept of flirting or what these kids now a days call "talking." I don't really know what about her drove me crazy, but I could definitely say she was different and I loved it.

I remember the first night she invited me over to her house like the back of my hand. It was a grey gloomy night and it was raining lightly. I brought a jacket so I wouldn't get wet walking into her house. The funny thing was, she wasn't home yet. I stood outside in the rain till she did and I was completely drenched with my hair falling over my eyes so far down I couldn't see. I saw a car pull up and it was her. I yelled her name out and she turned back.

"Kristen!"

"Antonio? What are you doing out here in the rain? You should've knocked on the door! My parents are home you know!"

I stared at her with a smile and laughed as she welcomed me in and of course I had to meet her parents. Her mother looked like a nice lady, but I couldn't shake her hand because both hands were occupied making dinner. Her dad was lying on the couch with his feet up watching a fight on tv with his shirt off. I wasn't at all disturbed due to the fact that I see myself in the mirror everyday. I shook his hand with a good grip to give him a sense of power and he did the same. Kristen had a giggle at the back of her throat, but she held it so I wouldn't notice and somehow I still did.

We walked to her room through a large and skinny hallway full of family pictures. When we stepped into her room it lit up like a christmas tree. The room brought a small smirk to my face and all throughout the night I sat there gazing at her. She was doing homework, I couldn't tell what kind, but I'm sure it was important. She looked beautiful and that was all I could picture that night. Her smile was like something you see in a dream. She did nothing to me, but somehow she did. I didn't remember going home, but I remember the thoughts I had about her. Soft, beautiful, bright thoughts.