Hi guys I know my last chapter made me sound like desperate weirdo that's really not who I am.
I really am a sensitive person.
I'm someone who just wants a broken piece of my heart to heal.
See when I was little I remember being in my bassinet I try to remember everything in my life I possibly can. That will also be explained later. I remember my dad we would microwave these little cookies downstairs and watch television at around 3 AM. I know its a memory that wouldn't mean much to other people but that's all I'm ever going to have. I remember his smile and his laugh. I don't have much more than that. I remember at his funreal as I walked out I started crying the reality of the situation hit me. My tear landed in this puddle and the puddle turned gold instantly. I knew he was there. Everyone keeps saying he's still here but he's not. He isn't here. To all my friends that held me in the bathroom and let me rest my head on their shoulder when I was sad I love you more than you'll ever know. I'm not telling you this for sympathy that's not what I want. I have had more than enough fake sympathy from people I've told to those of you who genuinely care thank you.
This is pretty depressing so...koalas? Anyway here's another entry.
For about 6 months I've felt really fat and ugly. Just a few days ago I looked in The mirior and was happy with what I saw. Society keeps telling Me to reach this ideal body shape. I've eaten way Less than enough and said "its for dance" when I was really just desiring this ideal shape. Maybe I asked a guy to tell me if he liked me because I want somebody to tell me Im Pretty fingers crossed(I also want to know if someone actually likes me). Anyways have a good day and remember you are beautiful you are worth it and you are special.
