That Awkward Moment I Call My Life

Me.

Alright so my mom said I have to go to sleep and I refuse so....I'm writing now. It's come to my attention that I haven't really informed you much about me.

I guess I'll start with the fact that I have braces, and eh. I don't hate them. They most definitely fixed my ratchet teeth. I just got rubber bands and I have to annunciate so much because if not I have a lisp. I have short dark brown hair. And I myself and rather short, but I'm a decent height considering I could be shorter.

I don't really know how to label myself. I want to say I'm smart but, without being to conceited. Although, all my grades are because I study my brains out and work my butt of to get them. I'm pretty proud of the grades I get and how teachers see me as a student. Alright I'm gonna stop being conceited.

I know for a fact I'm a mess. My life is all over the place. In my brain anyway, my home life is pretty good and school is school. School for me, I have a group of friends that I love to death, although I don't say it often. They always make me laugh and all that best friend stuff. I'm really glad I have them because I could be in such worst situations. I really hate homework and projects. Teachers are lying when they say you can't do it the night before, because literally all of my projects are finished the morning they're due.

Tumblr and Youtube are my favorite social media platforms. I feel like I am one with the communities. I like various type of music. It can range from really ghetto stuff to the most annoying catchiest of songs. I'd say my wardrobe is pretty practical, always with a statement piece of course. I really have to go buy clothes.

I play sports, but I wouldn't consider myself athletic. If you read the other chapter, you would know I play softball. I also play soccer and do gymnastics. I swim competitively during the summer as well. I'm not awful at these sports, but I'm not talented either. I'm also a "dancer." I can't dance to save my life but it's a fun hobby to do when you're with friends.

Now comes to the sad stuff. I don't have a depressing story, I'm not suicidal, I don't self harm, I'm not depressed, etc. I have anxiety however. I also stress about a lot of stuff and get nervous easily. My mom noticed I had anxiety in fourth grade. But I haven't encountered a time where I needed to go home or go to sleep for a while so I'm pretty happy. When I present projects I get these panic attacks that really stress me out. I can barely breathe and I start to blush, a lot, and then I get embarrassed. I feel like running out of a room and crying. Dear Lord, I must sound so exaggerated, but it's true. I don't really know why I feel like this. Other than the fact that I petrified of some of my classmates, and I feel so judged. I'm never satisfied with myself. Too many things that I'm insecure about to be confident while I'm presenting. The worst part is that you can't run away from a panic or anxiety attack. It stays there until it wants to leave. It's worse then fear because it's you who's controlling it, but you can't stop it. I don't know, it's scary. And sometimes I just feel like going to a field and screaming my head off for three hours. It sucks, but I have to pretend like nothing's wrong.

Alright sad part over, sorry for boring and or making you sad. I tend to get obsessed with things easily. Things such as youtubers, guys (especially Kian Lawley), and other stupid stuff. Random facts: I play the flute, I don't suck, but I'm not a prodigy. I'm rather flexible. I own two ferrets and a dog. I like playing truth or dare. I fall in love with fictional characters. I like to wear my white converse. I love singing but I can't sing. I kinda love rainy days, but they have to be really rainy to stay inside and watch movies or read books. I'm almost a teenager and I still love Diary of A Wimpy Kid and Dork Diaries. I think I'll stop because it's late and I have 758 words.