.•What Once Was•. (vixreader)

Trying.

TW: Mentions of PTSD.

When you finally made it back to the Undercity and in the comfort of people that were not dangerous, you made sure the others were okay.
Scar only had a few bruises, and Ekko fortunately had been unscathed.
Though even then you couldn't help but lash out.
"What the hell were you thinking Ekko?! Going in after her? You could've gotten yourself killed!"

"It was out of anger, okay?! She's just-"
He paused as his eyes landed on your side, seeing the blood seeping through your clothes from the injury you neglected.
You instantly placed a hand over it, trying to cover it up even though you knew very well it wasn't gonna work.
His eyes widened as realization hit.
"You got shot didn't you? Fuck Y/n, this isn't something small to ignore! I'll go get the bandages-"

"No, don't! Do not. I can do this myself. I don't need you helping me."
You spat, heading over to your room to get the bandages. Pain erupted from your side as you continued walking, but you shrugged it off.
You could still hear Ekko's footsteps trailing along, as he desperately tried to get you to stop.
But even though you were injured, you were still quicker.
You slammed open the door and went to your cabinet, crouching down to open the last drawer.

You winced a little as the wound opened up a tad bit more due to the action, but it wasn't anything you couldn't fix.
You grabbed alcohol, a stray towel, bandages, and a thread and needle. Sitting down on your mattress, you began what you needed to do.

When you had begun cleaning up the wound, Ekko walked in, slightly panting.
"God damn you're fast."
You ignored him, simply passing the thread through the needle's hole and giving it a knot.

"Let me help, if you do it by yourself it won't heal as fast." He stated as he walked your direction, but you stopped him in his tracks.
"I told you that I don't need your help, okay? I'm the one who should take care of you, not the other way around. So if you excuse me, I'm going to do this by myself."
His brows furrowed at your comment.
"Is that how you think it's supposed to be? You're wrong Y/n. We help each other out, that's how its supposed to work."

You ignored him and poked the needle through your skin, your hands beginning to tremble.
"No."
He scoffed.
"Why don't you ever let me help you, huh? Over these past seven years you have never resorted to
me for it. Never. Not when I hear you awake at night because of your nightmares, not when you get injured, not even to talk about your troubles! This is not right. It's not healthy for you to be doing this, shutting yourself out."
You stopped, and looked up at him as he finished his sentence.

"I haven't asked for help, and I won't start doing it now. Okay? Okay."
You replied, turning back to your needle, about to poke it against your skin again when he interrupted.
"Why? Why do you do this? Why do you feel the need to protect me but will never allow me to reciprocate the acts?!"

"Because! Because I was the only god damn person to make it out of that shitty place. Every single person you had was taken away from you, all because I couldn't help! I could've stopped them. But I was useless. And somehow I'm still alive, still breathing, while they're all gone. It should've been me, not them. So it is my job now to protect you, to be of use to you, to help you. Not your job to me. This is shit I handle on my own because I have to."
You retorted, tears prickling at the corner of your eyes.

You didn't bother saying anything more, so you turned back to what you were doing and shakily continued closing up the wound.
"Y/n.."
The way he said your name, with melancholy, was enough to make a tear spill out of your eye.
It was the first time in many years that you were actually crying. The words you meant to have insignificant meaning seemed to burn more than they should've, making you regret ever saying anything.
You stopped what you were doing, and buried your face in your hands.
"I'm sorry, Ekko. I'm so sorry."

Tears spilt out of your eyes like a dam that had finally been broken.
You could feel a hand being placed on your shoulder, and the feel of the mattress sinking when Ekko sat next to you.
"It's okay Y/n, don't apologize."
You lifted your head, and turned to look at him.
"Before you say anything, don't. Just listen. We are all we have left for one another, so we've got to mutually take care of eachother. Not you doing all the work because you think it's your job. What happened isn't your fault, and you should not think that you deserve what happened to them. I know it's hard to understand, but please try. Know that I am always here for you, just as you are for me."

You looked down at the floor, and let a few more tears fall. "I'll try." You murmured.
He gave you a small smile before extending his hand out to you to grab the thread and needle.
"Then this is your chance to try."
You looked at it as you wiped the stray tears, breathing out a laugh.
"Alright."

And with that, you finally let him help you for once. It hurt like a bitch, but it meant progress.

•. •. •.

After Ekko was done patching you up, you took it upon yourself to bandage the wound.
Ekko had offered to do that too, but you deemed that as too much.
He had done enough for today, and you were only willing to make baby steps.

As you were wrapping the white cloth around you, the door opened up rather loudly.
"Monny! You're back!"
She ran over to you and practically threw herself onto you as she wrapped her arms around your body.
You scrunched your nose as she accidentally hit you on your wound with her knee.
"Careful Bex, monny's kinda hurt."
Ekko mentioned, biting his lip as he realized it must've hurt.

She parted from you with her mouth agape.
"What happened?!"
You were about to try to calm her down until she saw your bloodied shirt, and as instinct she raised it enough to see your wound.
"Oh no, that looks like it hurts. Are you alright now monny?"
You smiled.
"Yes, don't worry about it Bexie."

You yelped a little when she tried poking it, the curiosity in her winning over.
"Oops. Sorry monny."
You sighed, patting her on the head.
"It's alright."
She looked over at Ekko, peering him up and down.
"Did you get shot too Ekko?"
He chuckled.
"No, because I was too fast. I dodged every single one coming at me."

She let out a 'wow'.
"I think you should try to be more like Ekko monny, he's better than you."
You scoffed.
"That kind of hurt my feelings, Bex." She simply giggled, jumping off the bed and proceeding to grab her stray plush. Oh the attention span of kids, how wonderful.
You turned to look at Ekko, who looked lost in thought.

It dawned on you that he was probably thinking about what happened earlier, and a pang of sorrow washed over you too.
You stood, motioning him to follow you.
"We'll be right back Bex." You said, closing the door when she hummed in agreement.

"I'll go find the paints." You stated, looking over at him.
He nodded.
"Let's make sure people don't forget who they were."

•.                  ゜★。・゜☆                   .•