The Beat of a Battered Heart

Ashton- 6

July Fourth is the big old American deal in our town. There are flags in every yard , red white and blue bunting on every storefront, a bona fide parade with both active and retired vets. Fort Leavenworth Air Force Base isn't far from here and there are many military families settled in Frost Hill. We are a grateful community in an indebted country. My clinic is closed but Caroline has to work until 3pm when the Tavern closes for the day.

This is my window. I have ordered the ring, sizing it from the one I wear around my neck, and our local jeweler Samantha Tagget called yesterday to let me know it was in and ready. We have kept our intentions to ourselves, Caroline and I, for two weeks but after tonight I want it written in the sky. Shouted from the rooftops.

It has been the best two weeks of my life. There is no exaggeration on my part when I say this. A peace comes over a man when something meant to be falls into place. I am head over heels in love with this woman. I don't know how I've managed this long with a feeling this big hibernating inside of me. I'm just so grateful it's woken.

The jewelry store is closed but Samantha lets me in the back door.

"It's so beautiful! You're going to love it!" she gushes, all big blonde hair and eye makeup. I'm wearing a chambray shirt, jeans, boots. Not nearly as festive as Sam with her red, white, and blue shorts, American flag tshirt pulled taut over big boobs, stars and stripes Converse.

She leads me into the dark, cool interior of the store and turns on a light over one of the display cases. Opening a drawer, she pulls out a little black velvet box and hands it to me.

She's right. It's beautiful.

I had a ring made because I wanted two components included - the fine threads for three seperate white gold bands entertwined, and a round diamond solitaire banked on either side by aquamarines. Meg's birthstone. Meg, who was the biggest cheerleader in our coming together. She is as much a part of our now as she was a part of our then. I hope that Caroline approves.

I thank Samantha, pay the balance, and tuck the ring in my jeans front pocket until later. The plan is for Caroline to meet me by 4:30 at the town's park joining Misty, Jason and the kids for a swim and cookout before fireworks.

I am feeling uncommonly fabulous. Everything has a lovely sort of illumination right now. It is like taking a breath when you didn't realize you'd been holding it for so long.

I run by the house to grab the bag Caorline packed earlier with our suits, towels, sunscreen, snacks. There's also a cooler I fill with water, beer, and a to-die-for pasta salad. There's a chocolate icebox pie that I have been instructed to include. I load up the car and call to Birdie who is beside herself with excitement at the idea of going somewhere. It's almost three and Jason said they'd be set up before noon. I'm so anxious about giving Caroline the ring I need some distraction.

At that, I throw on my brakes as I'm leaving the driveway.

"The ring," I mutter out loud, smacking myself for good measure. I back up to the deck, run inside, and retrieve the ring from the dresser where I'd left it when I'd changed.

It's a scorcher today. 95 degrees. But at least there's a breeze. Some days it's so stagnant it's barely conducive to breathing. I wind my way through town at a leisurely pace, acknowledging pretty much everyone I see with a wave or a nod. It's quiet with the businesses closed and people going to cookouts or the Tavern. When I pull into the parking lot near the community pool, it's so crowded I have to park my truck on the swale outside of the actual lot. Leashing Birdie, I head with my load up the hill of the park to where I know Jason has snagged a grill spot. There are families everywhere and the mood is high. Music is blasting at various picnic tables, dogs and kids vie for frisbees and tennis balls, and the distinct scent of grilling meat perfumes the air.