The Beat of a Battered Heart

Ashton- 8

I still am wary over letting Caroline out of my sight, much less driving herself to work. We had a pretty monumental fight about it where she was insulted that I didn't trust her to care for herself and where I was annoyed that she couldn't see my end of things. She won, but barely. As in, one false move from any direction and I will go back to being her chauffeur, cold shoulder be damned.

She tries not to disturb me in the mornings, but I always wake when she rises, so in tune to her. I laze in bed as she gets ready, kiss her goodbye before she leaves. Then go against her wishes and stand at the window at the end of the upstairs hall to watch her get in her car. I know that Brandon will meet her at the Tavern, that she won't even get out of the car until he arrives, so I am somewhat mollified.

But not really. Ever since the Fourth of July, I've felt a sense of foreboding. Like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. Caroline tells me to let it go, that I'm making her a nervous wreck. That she's fine and she just wants to move forward. Plan our wedding. Be together. Live our lives.

Well, I want that too. I want her carefree and content. And safe.

"You've let this change you," she'd said to me last night as I put Jason's handgun, loaded, in the bedside table drawer. I rolled over, kissed her, ran my fingers through her hair and palmed her cheek.

"I was changed by violence against you years ago. I can't help that. I'm still me. Just more careful."

"Just more worried," she'd corrected.

"I'm sorry. I know it's probably fine. But I can't shake the unease I feel." She is so beautiful, all signs of injury gone. Just this breathtaking woman I get to spend the rest of my life with. I feel like the luckiest of men and it spooks me a little.

"Ashton. You'll see. Everything's going to be perfect." With that she pulled my mouth to hers and I was lost in her.

She is very talented at distraction.

I totally balked at the coming and going by herself. It's dark when she leaves home so I drove her for a week after Ted had to drop the escort. After work was easier for me because it's broad daylight and someone walks her to her car. Finally, after she gave me hell enough, I backed off. I didn't want her to feel like a prisoner. So I watch her get to her car from the house and Brandon meets her at work and walks in with her.

I have searched everywhere for him. Part of the reason for my high tension is looking out for Caroline. The rest is looking for John Mason. I know he's out there. I do. I just can't figure out where he could possibly hide in a community this close. There's been no sign of him since he assaulted Caroline. It's like he's vanished into thin air.

But I know he's near.

I can feel it in my bones.

Him, watching. Waiting. Like the predator he is.

Sooner or later, he's going to screw up. And I will find him.

I doze back off after Caroline leaves for the restaurant and dream of her. The way her lips feel on me. The heat of her hands. The lilt of her voice when she tells me she loves me.

We've picked a date for the wedding: October 16. A little under two months from now. A beautiful time of year in Eastern Kansas. The trees should be turning by then, the air will have that tasty fall edge. The owner of the Tavern has generously offered to cater it for free, as a gift to us. Which is a good thing because I'm pretty sure the whole town's coming. Jason is building a gazeebo for the lawn out back. I've rented 100 chairs. First come, first sit.

Please don't let it rain.

All I know is I can't wait. Marrying Caroline feels long overdue. To give her my heart, my life, my name feels like such decadent privilege. And to do it in front of all of our neighbors- nothing but right.