Failed Fairytale [Personal Blog] - On Going

Adulting

Can't believe I'm back HERE after YEARS!!!🤯

Reading what I wrote here 4-5 years ago makes me really wanna puke, but it's nostalgic. And it was... very me—but 1000x more cringe than I am right now, ofc. I was a freshman at college at that time, and now I had graduated!

And yes, work-life sucks. I think I get 1000x uglier since I got this extra stress.

I rant a lot back then, and I do a lot more today. 

I notice that I always felt not enough back in the day. I was like a youngster who was curious about life, full of dream, and looking at others in jealousy. 

But today, I don't really care about being 'enough' and fulfilling the 'standards' out there. My life feels so much better when I just focus on myself and make my own happiness and satisfaction at top of my priorities.

It's not easy to maintain that mindset. Sometimes I have a mental breakdown from co-comparison, but I manage it quite easily because I have the cure for myself :p.

That's for the introduction, now let's hear my story.

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And no, this is not a success story. My life has been falling apart lately. Sometimes I feel like a failure who wasted my time. I have the fear of waking up one day and realizing that I did nothing for years. And that's a regret that's not easy to overcome.

I really don't wanna be like that.

I'd been feeling down for quite months, but I think that's enough. It's time to do something, to fight it. 

Just because someone failed, doesn't mean they'll fail forever.

I come here to remind myself once again that it's time to wake up.

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Thu, 26 Jan 2023