[ ✰ ☾ ⤷ ] ❝ i doodle on the walls of the world ❞
where the author has too many ideas, but too little time to write all of them so she puts them all in a one shot book.
or where i, riley, sometimes just want to write to practice without it needing to...
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#bangchan title : t-shirt words : 1300+
note : similar thing again, but rewritten and probably better. angsty cuz when do i not write angst? you know how it goes. hope you'll like it anyway<3
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It has been a tough week for you.
You thought things couldn't get any worse when you lost your (shitty) job last monday. You went to the company, totally unaware of the fact that your boss would fire you that day. And to make things worse, she said it was because "she simply didn't like you". Talk about it being shitty.
But on top of that, when things felt like they couldn't get any worse, your boyfriend of a year decides to break up with you for a reason you still do not understand.
You thought the two of you were just fine. You were happy, you were spending as much time together as his job let him, and you were in love. But clearly he was thinking something else as he said that he didn't feel like the two of you had a future together.
That was the last straw to make you cry your eyes out on your couch and party like there was no tomorrow.
This week was the shittiest you've ever felt, but at the same time the best you've ever felt when you were at the club with your girlies. They made you feel hot, something you haven't felt like ever.
You truly do not deserve your best friends.
You sigh, recalling the events you had with your friends. Not that you remember much since you were too drunk to remember, but your friends said you were having fun. The last thing you remember was crying about your break-up, and saying it would be the last time you would cry about it since it was time to move on.
You cried at least ten more times before you actually stopped and drank even more shots with those random dudes at the bar.
"Are you sure you don't want to keep some of my hoodies? You've always loved them," your ex tries as you store the last of his hoodies in a bag next to the already full box he has in his arms.
You turn around to meet him and shake your head, "No, I'm good," you answer with a nod. "I'm perfectly fine like this."
You smile a little, but it's not really a smile. It's rather a forced, pathetic smile to make him think you're okay.
"But—" he tries, but you cut him off.
"Chan," you whisper, looking up to meet his eyes. "You can go now."
You hand him the bag with the last pieces of his clothing. He's already holding onto a cardboard box full of clothes consisting of hoodies, shorts, t-shirts and other random pieces of clothing like hats and beanies. Aside from the box, he has a bag with a few pieces of clothing as well.
That's all of his stuff, so it should be fine like this. You can go on with your life.
Chan sighs and nods, "Okay... But like, you don't want that really soft shirt you always slept in either? I really don't mind if you keep it," he says as you push him a little.
You walk to the front door with him, opening the door so he can go out. You really want him to go so you can cry again (not about him) and eat various snacks while doing so. Icecream sounds like the true cliché, but it really is a vibe when you're heartbroken to cry and eat icecream. It somehow tastes way better like that.
You feel a soft breeze go past you, making you shiver a little. Chan notices this as he walks past you to go outside.
"Rye, really, it is—"
"You told me to move on, right? I can't do that when your stuff is all over my place, Chris."
He is halfway walking through the door when he hears those words leave your lips. He stops in track and looks into the distance.
Cars are chasing by on the highway that can be seen in the distance. The male focuses his eyes on there as he tries to process those words.
He did say that, did he?
You frown when you see him stop in track, leaving you standing behind him with a confused expression on your face. What has gotten into him?
"What are you—"
"I don't want you to move on."
Chan drops the bag with his hoodies on the floor and turns around to face you, the light from outside your house shining on his face. He places the box with clothes down on the ground as well and looks you in your eyes.
Neither of you say anything as you're standing in the door opening from your apartment. You can hear the faint sounds of the cars chasing by still, sometimes hearing a honk from one of them because someone else made a mistake.
Would Chan think the same? Did he make the mistake of letting you go?
"What do you mean? You literally told me to move on and find someone else because we are not meant to be," you say as you quote those last words. "That is what you said when you broke up with me."
Chan sighs, closing his eyes for a second. He replays the events of a couple of days back, cringing at the way he said the words, and especially when those were all lies.
"I know I was the one breaking up with you, Riley. And I know I said that I wanted you to move on," he mumbles, his eyes looking into yours.
"But the truth is that I don't want any of that. I was just scared you would leave me and find someone else. I was scared you would leave me if I were gone for too long with the busy schedule we have as a band. And instead of talking about it I let you go thinking it was the best thing to do," he says, taking your hands in his.
You want to take your hands away and tell him to fuck off, but the butterflies in your stomach tell you to let him finish those words. You don't want to let go of him yet. You never wanted to break up with him, it was him that was doing this to you.
"It was the wrong move, Rye. I don't want to be away from you. I thought I could be away from you as that is what we always have with me being so busy and in different countries all the time. But instead I have been sad for days, trying to figure out why I was so miserable. I want to spend every free time I have with you. I want you by my side every minute I've got spare. I'm sorry, Riley. I'm sorry for letting you go. Please give me a second chance."
He looks at you with his beautiful eyes as those words leave his lips, his eyes looking at you with hurt, but also hope. Hopeful you might actually give him a second chance.
But is that what you want? To be with Chris and spend all your free time with him as well?
You sigh, shoving the box with clothes to the side with your foot to make room.
"Fucking hell," you mumble to yourself before you take a step forward and wrap your arms around his torso for a tight hug.
"Don't ever make me pack your bags again, Christopher Bang. It was not fun."
Chan lets out the breath he didn't know he was holding, leaning his head on top of yours and closing his eyes as he enjoys the hug.
"Does that mean you'll give me a second chance?" he asks in a whisper, still scared for the answer that'll come.
You nod a little, squeezing your hands so that you're holding him even tighter to your body than he already is.
"Yeah... I guess it doesn't hurt to keep that really soft t-shirt here for a while longer after all."
