Nothing to Everything

1: The Beginning

I have waited for this day my whole life, but right now sitting in the parking lot of the FBI headquarters in Quantico, I can't help but wonder if I should've gone about this a different way. I can't think about that right now; I just have to get through the initial shock then hopefully it'll go better. I get out of my car, fix my outfit and then head inside to the elevator and press the round "6" button. Once on the correct floor I keep my head down and go to Agent Hotchner's office.

"You must be Agent Ricci." Agent Hotchner greets me after I walk in with his head still in paperwork.

"Hi, yes please call me Isabella or Bella or Izzy." That's when Agent Hotchner finally looks up at me and does a double take.

"Oh, uhm yes ok. Sorry you just really look like one of our other agents, I almost thought he was in here with a wig on. Please call me Hotch." This isn't helping with my nerves. "If you follow me I'll start introducing you to the team starting with Agent Gideon." Ok, now my heart is in my throat. I have to speak up before Hotch starts to lead me towards the door.

"Im guessing you saw my full name when you did my paperwork?" Agent Hotchner looks at me weirdly.

"No, I actually didn't, but it is in this file." He says while flipping open my file and his face does a little twitch that not everyone would notice when he sees my name.

"Isabella Gideon Ricci?" He chokes the middle name out connecting the dots.

"Yes, I'm Jason Gideon's daughter. He hasn't met me but I grew up knowing about him which inspired me to become a profiler. My mom has sent updates about me, including pictures, but I don't know if he ever opened them or even got them. So if you could just gauge the situation when we go into his office that would be amazing." I say all of that in one breath and feel like I'm going to pass out and it shows on my face. Hotch just slowly nods and leads me out of the door. The bullpen is full of people, most of whom are looking at me sizing me up once the initial shock wears off of my resemblance to my father. We walk a few steps and end up outside the office right next to Hotch's. He knocks on the door and waits until a voice on the other side tells us to come in. Hotch hesitantly opens the door and walks in before me.

"Gideon, this is our new agent Isabella Ricci." Just as Hotch was when I entered, Gideon has his head buried in paperwork.

"Hi..." Gideon lifts his head and I can't tell if he recognizes me or is just shocked by the resemblance. "Did... Did you say Ricci?" He is talking to Hotch but is staring at me.

"Yes, I'm Isabella Ricci." I try and sound confident, but I feel like a mouse.

"Ricci... as in Izzy? Izzy Ricci?" Gideon seems to be putting it together. I just nod in confirmation. Gideon starts to slowly get up out from behind his desk. I don't know what to expect so I'm just standing there, rigid.

"Your mom mentioned in her latest letter you were starting a new job, but didn't tell me it was here... that you were going to be my coworker." The two of us are just staring at each other processing everything as Hotch slipped out closing the door behind him.

"So you do read the updates mom sends you." I don't know how to feel about that. On one hand, at least he cared enough to continue reading all the updates, but on the other, he knew we were only a three and half hour drive. I mean mom and I drove that to visit family every holiday she had off work.

He was quiet for a moment before answering. "I did read them, I saved them too. They were all I had of you, even if they didn't start until you were six years old. I thought of driving to meet you numerous times. I always stopped myself because I didn't want the people I hunted in this job to use you against me. I figured you were better off not being associated with me." I waited a second before grinning and saying, "with what mom tells me about you, that amount of emotion from you is all I'm going to get for the rest of my life." Gideon smiled and went to sit back behind his desk as I went to leave.

I walk back to Hotch's office processing what just happened. I'll have to message my mom her update on how it went when I get the chance. I am about to knock on Hotch's door when it suddenly opens. He is just as surprised to see me as I am as to see him.
"I was just going to come check on you...you should meet the other members." I can't tell for sure but I sense a little bit of concern in his tone. The big emotionless boss I've read about, concerned about a girl he met thirty minutes ago. I know the BAU is like a family, but I didn't think it was this fast. He ushered me into a third little office that was labeled "David Rossi" and introduced me,

"Rossi, this is our new agent, Agent Ricci." Rossi was an older dude, Italian, he looked comforting. Rossi turned his gaze to me. "Ahh another Italian, I like you already!" He smiled at me in a grandfatherly way and I knew he was going to be someone I would trust easier than the others.

"Please, call me Izzy." I replied with a smile as Hotch led me to the bullpen again. Once again, the rest of the team was staring at me.

"Can you introduce me to the rest of the team so they can stop gawking?" I purposefully said this on the louder side so the rest of the team could hear me. Hotch nodded and led me to the center of the bullpen where the others were gathers around one desk from talking about me. As I descend the stairs each and every other member of the BAU size me up. They all look from me to each other then back to me and all of a sudden I feel self conscious.

"This is our new Agent, Agent Ricci." Hotch does the formal introduction.

"Hi, please call me Izzy. And to clear up confusion from my looks, here's a summary. Gideon is my father, he didn't know I existed until I was six, you all just witnessed our first meeting, he didn't know I was joining the FBI so no he didn't help me get this job, I got this job because I put in the work and have a unique background." I tried to sound confident and badass, but they all just stared at me for too long. "Ok, I know I have some of Gideon's features but not enough to get gawked at like this, didn't you learn not to stare in kindergarten?"

They all seemed to snap out of their trance at the same time. The first person to speak up was a good looking male. "I'm SSA Derek Morgan and yes, we originally were staring because of the Gideon resemblance, but as soon as you stepped in the bullpen we noticed how good looking you are." I just stood there with my jaw on the floor. A blonde peppy looking female playfully smacked Morgan and then turned to me. "Don't mind Morgan, he is very forward with this topic. I'm Penelope Garcia FBI technical analyst." She had such a warmth about her that I instantly trusted her. Hotch took over and introduced the other agents as Jennifer Jareau, Dr. Spencer Reid, Dr. Tara Lewis, Luke Alvez and Emily Prentiss. Hotch pointed to a desk and said, "this will be your desk, go ahead and get setup. There is an email in your inbox with the paperwork you need to do to officially become a member of the BAU." Hotch turned to the rest of the team, "the rest of you get back to work too."

With that I sat down at my desk and took a second to catch my breath while the computer turned on. Social anxiety apparently doesn't care that those people are now my coworkers. My heart rate was increasing each second and that familiar pressure on my chest increased. The pressure kept increasing, more than usual, more than ever before. I got up abruptly and headed outside of the bullpen. The elevator happened to open when I got to the hallway so I entered and hit one, fresh air will help. I caught a glimpse of the bullpen when the elevator was shutting and saw my new coworkers looking at me confused. Once I was on the first floor I quickly went outside since everything had started feeling like it was collapsing in on me. One of the more annoying after effects of the trauma I've endured in my life. I focused on the potted flowers trying to calm down my body. Breathe in two three four, exhale two three four and repeat. I felt a little calmer and decided I would just push through the paperwork because then the day would be over. I went back up to the sixth floor and when I entered the bullpen I was once again feeling similar to what zoo animals feel like as I walked back to my desk and got to work.

This paperwork is entirely tedious and all is included in either my application or in the paperwork I already had to do. It didn't help that I could sense people taking turns looking at me. I finished the paperwork and submitted everything right as Hotch exited his office.

"Ricci have you finished the paperwork?" Hotch looked directly at me.

"I just hit submit on the last thing, sir." He nodded at me before saying, "good, then join us at the round table," he looked around the room, "we have a case."