Nothing to Everything

11: Behind a Computer

I wake up to my alarm. I guess having Emily come back did help since I didn't have one nightmare and feel fully rested. Emily stirs next to me trying to shut off her alarm that went off shortly after mine. I get up and start getting ready for the day. I put on fitted work pants and a flowy red work shirt. Once all dressed, I head downstairs to start coffee and eat breakfast. Shortly after, I hear Emily walking downstairs to join me. I pour her a cup of coffee and hand it to her while sipping my own. She leans on the counter watching me while drinking from her mug.

"Do you not eat breakfast?" She asks after I put my mug in the dishwasher and started packing my lunch.

"I haven't been eating much lately. Yesterday honestly was the most I've eaten since last week..." I replied and Emily got what I was referencing. I haven't had much of an appetite since Frank died.

"You had two meals yesterday and a whole pot of coffee by yourself, your lunch was also so small, just a sandwich." She looked at me worried.

"I'm fine, I promise. My appetite will increase soon." I reassure her. She looks at me like she isn't convinced. I give her a smile, but I know it doesn't reach my eyes. Thankfully, Emily doesn't say anything else as we head out to our cars and leave.

I park my car and sit there for a second. Emily arrives two minutes after me and she stops at my car, seeing I haven't gone in yet. I get out and join her in the walk to the building. She grabs my hand and squeezes it reassuringly, today is gonna be a tough mental day, I already know it. I knew it the moment Emily mentioned me not eating breakfast. Emily let go of my hand only when she broke off to go to her desk and I went to mine. I immediately started on work after getting another cup of coffee. I still had to finish paperwork from last week. I could sense Hotch looking at me through his open door, no doubt checking to see if I was well rested. I couldn't tell how he felt that I did look well rested.

Mid morning I got up and went to get more coffee. I decided to also get Hotch a cup and bring it to him and say good morning. I fixed two cups then walked to his office.

"Knock knock, I brought coffee." I said since I couldn't actually knock. He got up and grabbed his coffee cup from my hand while closing the door. Once the door clicked shut he smiled at me.

"Did you have any nightmares last night?" He asked me while sipping his coffee. I shook my head, hiding in my coffee mug. "I'm glad." Hotch responded.

"Well, I just came to give you coffee and say good morning. So, good morning." I say while turning back to the door. I go back to my desk and continue on paperwork.

At noon, I have half of my paperwork done when Tara, JJ, Penelope and Emily huddle around my desk.

"Girls lunch, come on, you have no choice in this matter." Tara says as greeting with a smile. I look up and smile at them. I grab my lunch box and get up trailing after them. As we pass Derek's desk he motions towards the guys still sitting, "what about us?" Spencer and Luke agree with his question.

"Not our fault you need us gals to have a good lunch." I reply over my shoulder smiling. I wave goodbye to Hotch through his open door. He smiles and returns my wave before going back to his work. JJ grabs my hand when we enter the elevator and I lay my head on her shoulder while we descend.

We pick a table in the shade and all sit down. I end up sitting in between JJ and Penelope with JJ still holding my hand. Emily looks a little sad about the seating arrangement and I give her a smile. We land in comfortable chatter while everyone eats. I nibble at my sandwich, still not having much of an appetite. Emily notices my almost uneaten sandwich and gives me a look. I avoid her gaze and put my sandwich back in my lunch box. I sip on my flavored seltzer the rest of the lunch while chatting.