psithurism

iii: to lose what never was

"Your Grace, a letter from the Derran Viscounty arrived for you."

I was making Charlotte drink her milk when Elle entered my chamber holding a letter. I signaled her to place it on the tea table inside my chamber before I danced the child around.

I chuckled when she started snoring softly. I gently placed her on my bed and nested a lot of pillows around her.

I took the letter and opened it.

I immediately covered my mouth reading it, lest I scream. I read it again to check if my eyes are just playing tricks on me.

You are invited to the wedding of Viscount Niriko Derran and Lady Viel Biglangawa.

I checked the date and that's when I realized the wedding is tomorrow.

The news made me overwhelmed to the point that I could only stare at the nothingness. If Charlotte didn't wake up and cried, I wouldn't even move an inch.

I mindlessly calmed my daughter down while my thoughts wander to the viscounty. He didn't even ask me to help in the preparation of his wedding, and less than a day to prepare?!. How insensitive of him.

I wasn't able to get enough sleep with the news and I woke up early the next morning. I asked Elle to prepare me a simple lavender dress.

I don't wanna overshadow my brother's wife. Speaking of.

I pouted. My brother didn't even introduce his bride-to-be to me.

I also dressed Charlotte in a matching lavender dress and we went out of my chamber to head to the church.

"Her Grace will bring the Young Lady Charlotte to Viscount Derran's wedding?" Sir Juandre asked when he saw me carrying Charlotte.

I forced a smile. That's when I realized I didn't ask the duke a permission to take his daughter out. "I-If I could."

"Of course, Madame," he said with a kind smile.

When we arrived at the church, everyone's eyes immediately went to us.

"Oh my! Whose child is that?"

"Is it Duchess Naomi's child? Maybe she is favored after all."

"What if she had an affair with other men?"

"Oh, right! But have you heard of Lady Antoinette's death?"

"The baby is adorable!"

I chose to ignore the noble's nonsense comments.

I smiled sweetly at my brother when our eyes met. His eyes landed on the child I'm holding. I saw confusion in his eyes but he was unable to ask when the ceremony started. But I saw how his jaw clenched.

"Whose child is that, Naomi?" he asked me the moment we were able to be alone during the reception.

I forced a smile. "It was mine."

His jaw clenched even more. "You visited me two months ago and your tummy was not that of a nine-month pregnant lady," he said. "So, whose child is that?"

I looked away and gulped. "I-It was the d-duke's," I confessed.

"What?!"

I immediately hushed him when he screamed, getting the attention of the nobles around us. "Pray keep your voice down, Kuya."

"Your husband had a child outside your marriage?!" he asked and I had no choice but to nod.

That's when I realized how ridiculous our whole situation was. He's not even respecting me as his wife, even making me foster the child that was the product of his affair with another woman.