Certainty in the Uncertain

Chapter 7

Rain stretched his arms to the sky while climbing from his car and walking towards the door. Upon entering, he saw Phayu and rushed forward for a hug only to be held at arm's length. Phayu looked at him with irritated eyes.

"P'Phayu, what's wrong?"

"Where have you been?" Phayu asked, dropping his arms from Rain's shoulders.

"What do you mean? I've been at Sky's, studying. I told you earlier today."

"You told me you'd be at Sky's, yes. You also told me you'd be home by dinner."

"Oh, but P'Phayu, I actually told you I'd be home around dinner time. Not by dinner." Rain watched Phayu's eyebrow tilt in response to Rain's correction. What exactly was Phayu so upset about? Rain searched his brain for possibilities, coming up with nothing. Rain hated moments like this where he knew that he was apt to forget things and felt stupid for not being able to interpret what was happening.

"Fine, around dinner time then. But I tried calling you to see when you'd be here and didn't get an answer. So I texted Sky who also didn't answer."

As Rain opened his mouth to argue, Phayu held up his phone. "I did, however, get this from the frat group chat." Confused, Rain leaned in to look at the picture on Phayu's screen. There, lit up, was Rain sitting next to Ple on Sky's sofa. Okay, so Phayu wasn't mad about him missing dinner, he was mad that Rain had been with Ple.

"So what? You knew I was studying with the gang and that usually includes Ple. You know this. So why are you mad?"

"You know I don't like it when you hang out with Ple and here you are cuddled up together on the sofa," Phayu said, his voice raised slightly. Rain could not believe that Phayu was getting upset about Ple. Again. Could they not move past his previous crush on Ple? Even after all this time?

"I am not cuddled up with her. I am sitting next to her on the sofa reading our notes," Rain began to raise his voice in response, still not believing they were even arguing about this.

"You may as well be. There is no space between you! None! She may as well be in your lap!" Phayu yelled, walking away.

"Are you seriously walking away after basically accusing me of cheating on you? I can't believe that we are still talking about this. I am sitting next to her and she is nowhere close to being in my lap. I have told you over and over that I don't like Ple. I'm so tired of telling you. Tired of defending myself when I haven't done anything wrong." Rain followed Phayu, refusing to let him walk away from this.

"I know you're jealous but, seriously, you need to fucking get over this. You! Not me. This is not my problem anymore. I'm done having this discussion and I'm done feeling like I'm doing something wrong when I'm not. I'm not doing anything other than hanging out with a friend. Stop making me feel bad about it all the time"

Rain watched as emotions moved across Phayu's face as he sat on the sofa, placing his face in his hands. Was Phayu angry? Angry he was yelling at him? Angry he had used bad language? Angry he had been with Ple? But, then, Phayu also looked, kind of, well, sad? Rain tried to stay angry since he was clearly not at fault here, but seeing Phayu sad was just, it was just hard to watch.

He knew that Phayu was complicated, just like Rain, even if other people didn't see it. Other people didn't even typically acknowledge that Phayu had any feelings or flaws at all. They just saw his perfectly crafted exterior, the hair, the body, the smile. They saw him working hard, helping others, and being friendly to everyone. They didn't see when he fell asleep on the sofa after overworking himself tutoring failing architecture students. Or how cranky he got when he was sick. Or how bad he was at laundry. Or how hard learning English was for him, which Rain secretly thought was adorable.