"Get out of here! This is all your fault! Ang kapal ng mukha mong magpakita pa rito!" her Mom shouted at me the moment she saw me entering Adriana's room.
4th month of her in coma. After that incident happened, it resulted to this. She was furious when she saw me with Lucas. Her car crashed and almost died. This is all my fault. I almost killed her.
I blamed myself for what happened kaya ngayon lang din ako nagka-lakas ng loob na dalawin siya and I understand their reaction. Kasalanan ko ang lahat.
"It wasn't your fault, Eli. Aksidente ang nangyari." Rai told me while massaging her temples. "God, stop blaming yourself! Umayos ka."
"If I didn't meet Luke that night, maybe this would have not happened. This is all on me." sambit ko na wala sa sarili bago itungga ang huling bote na iniinom ko.
"You were going to reject him! For goodness' sake." aniya ulit.
"I'm going home, Rai. May pasok pa ako bukas. Goodnight." I said and grabbed my bag. I went home and showered before I laid on our bed.
My sheets smell like her. My eyes started tearing up again. Wala akong magawa kundi ang umiyak at sisihin ang sarili ko sa nangyari. I don't know what else I should do. I can't live without her. She's the only reason I'm still breathing. She's all I have and I almost killed her, the love of my life.
Just like the other nights, I fell asleep crying, and woke up feeling nothing. I had to get up and go to school. I need to study for us. I promised her na mag-aaral ako palagi nang mabuti. No matter how heavy and hard it is for me to continue life, I kept on choosing to breathe. For her, for us.
Days passed like a blur. It's almost a year now and she hasn't woken up yet. I only visited her around 3 to 5 am when no one's around.
"I love you so much, Adriana. I will always be here waiting for you. Mahal na mahal kita." I whispered in her ear before I kissed her forehead.
I was about to go dahil parating na ang pinsan niya na kaibigan ko rin, but then, I felt her move. I waited for another moment to make sure she really can move and it happened again. She's clenching her fist. I immediately called the doctor at pagkaraan ng ilang minuto ay dumating na kaagad ang pamilya niya, while I stayed hidden in the corner.
I went to the chapel and prayed for hours bago ako umalis ng hospital para mag-asikaso na para pumasok ng university. I texted her cousin, Ralph, to ask for updates.
It was lunch when I finally get to check my phone and his messages broke me. She doesn't remember everyone. Ralph tried asking her about me and it didn't ring her a bell.
I prepared for this. But the more I think of it, the more I want to crumble. When she was on the verge of death, I believed I was already broken. I felt every piece of me scatter. I wasn't aware that my fractured parts may break a million times more. Fuck it.
Thank God she recovered well. Hindi na ako nagpumilit na lumapit sa kanya. I watched her from afar. I asked Ralph for regular updates about her. Nagkikita rin kami minsan. I heard din na papasok na siya ng school, so we'll see each other often. Baka magsama pa kami sa iilang klase.
On her first day, nagmadali akong pumasok. This is the first time na hindi ako na-late. Sa sobrang pagmamadali ko, I bumped into someone.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I'm in a hurry kas-" napatigil ako sa pagsasalita nang makita ko kung sino ang aksidente kong nabangga. "A-driana..."
Her lips pursed bago siya magsalita. "Uh, it's okay. Wait, you know me? And my second name?" she asked and laughed a little bit. I was stunned by her. Natulala ako habang pinagmamasdan ang maganda niyang mukha.
