After

Sixteen

His hand was hurting this evening. The pain made the atmosphere darker than it already was, more blue from the sky. Because there shouldn't be any pain, there should not be anything really. He looked at his limb that was no longer there.
It happened from time to time. A pinch, a numbness, that for a moment he thought he could end with a move of the fingers, a burning heat that could not be calmed. He had heard that many soldiers that had lost a hand or a leg experienced those same conditions. Even when he learnt about it, it didn't help. His mood always dropped when it happened. Even in times that he was somewhat neutral he became angry, and now he was not at his best.
The night of the opening was a week ago and since then, he only left his room at this late hours. Just to move his legs a little, just to feel the cold air of the night and not the humidity of his room that pierced his bones.
He never went to her house, or near it to be honest. He would like to say that it happened because he respected her wishes, because he was a bigger man, one that would not cave under his desire.
But he was not. He was a proudful jerk, a word that she had used. And his pride was wounded. Something he didn't want to admit, nevertheless it was true. She had asked him to stay away, keep some distance and he had done it not because it was the right thing to do, more because he believed that she would come just like before and she would ask him to come back. And as much as he said to himself that he would not agree, or not agree right away, he knew that he would go. Because he liked the hours that were spent at her house, he had grown to appreciate the silence, the coffee that awaited him, the sound of her pen on the paper, the sight of her stretch arms before the fire after the long hours that she stayed in the same position. He liked the presence of Hinata Hyuga in general, he thought. She didn't have a title, he never cared to put her one, she was not exactly a colleague or a friend, but he liked whatever she was. She was interesting. The first person that he found interesting in a not annoying way. She angered him and startled him, she made him want more of what she was offering.
But she had asked him to stay away. Giving an explanation that was not one that he could understand. No. The words were spoken exactly that way. So that he could not understand. He was not stupid. Something happened in that conversation, that he never heard. Something happened that made her retreat. He didn't care to know what it was. She had shown in the past that she could stand her ground, she quitted to do exactly that.
Perhaps, keeping him close was not so important to fight Naruto about it.
He felt a stab of pain and he threw a punch with the other, leaving a hole in the shallow wall.
He got up, taking his coat on the way out.

_____

Ino was talking. The conversation involved her, she was sure, but she had stopped hearing for some time. She was sure she was still saying how hurt she had felt that she was never able to see her in that dress. How she ought to wear it again, when they would go out.
Her focus was drifted away around that. Ino didn't seem to notice, since the sound of her voice was still there, so she probably nodded mindlessly, giving the impression that the other woman still hadher attention.
A purple thread was hanging from the end of the fabric around the exposed neck. She should had told her, this little mishap didn't fit the spotless appearance of her friend. Maybe in a while, when the conversation would die out, she would pointed out. For now she wasn't willing to share a word. Perhaps she had forgotten how to speak, since the days of silence had piled up. She had gone to the market two days prior, she had spoken then if she was correct. Or didn't she. She wasn't sure.
There were many times in the past that the weeks passed and she never said a word. When Hanabi was busy, or father was out, when Ino had many days to come and she didn't know if Shino was home, she had stayed at her house, thinking many things but spoke none.
She had forgotten about it, how easy it was to be in her own silence. She had forgotten it because now, every day, he came and she was compelled to speak. Either if she wanted or not.
She had asked him to stay away and he did, even when she believed that he wouldn't. It was a feeling more than anything, one that she could not address exactly. Not because she believed she was that important in his life, it was not that, yet she couldn't say what it was.
He had stayed away and he had made things easier for her for once. And more quiet.
That night, right before Naruto came she thought they had moved another step in that strange friendship they shared. He had been vulnerable, he had let her see it. And Hinata had looked in the pitch black space that began from his stare and moved around him like a hug. She had asked herself what it felt like to have a life like his. What thoughts crossed his mind. She had found herself intrigued about the man, she was sure she knew after the years she had spent beside Naruto.
"Everyone's opinion is biased under their own beliefs." She whispered and after a moment she realised that Ino had stopped talking. That brought her back to the house and the conversation that she had missed for the most part.
"Is everything alright?" Ino spoke after a while.
Hinata shook her head.
"Yes, yes everything is fine."
But Ino wasn't buying it. She had that stare, mischief and worry under the piercing light blue. The one that made her the chief of the intelligence department.
"Spill it." She said.
"There is nothing to.."
"Is it about Shino?" She asked again. "I learnt about it the other day. It is okay to feel..."
"I'm very happy for Shino-kun." Hinata smiled.
"I didn't say you weren't. You are this kind of person. But I am sure it brings back memories."
Ino was never someone to keep her thoughts to herself. To say half of what she was thinking.
"It can't bring back memories. I always remember." She answered and brought a temporary silence.
"If you don't want to tell me, wear that pretty dress of yours and let's go drink." She said with determination. She was almost ready to get up when Hinata responded.
"I will not wear it again. I'm sorry."
Her stare became more focused if that was possible.
"Did something happened the other night? Did he approach you? Oh my god, he did. Don't tell me you're considering getting back together with him again? I always feared it would happen eventually. Hinata, listen to me, you were very sad the first time and then he started dating her, how will you accept that?"
Her friend started a monologue and before she could stop her the door knocked.
She got up to answer earning a scoff from Ino.
"We are not finished yet. We will continue after that."
"There is nothing to continue about Ino-san." She said as she opened the door. "You misunderstood." She said, turning slightly to her friend.
Her gaze was on Ino for mere seconds, but she turned around quickly, the face across her held a surprise. She feared that it was Naruto that came again with his own misunderstandings.
She wrapped her jacket tighter to protect herself from the cold that was invading the house. Perhaps she should close the door, trapping it outside along with the man that came with it.
"I came to talk." He said and she wanted to respond that there was no need to talk. That she didn't want to. Yet he hadn't asked, it wasn't a question.
"I am busy right now Sasuke-san." And as to support her claim she gestured to the woman sitting on the chair. "I have company."
"It won't take long." He answered completely unaffected by Ino's stare. There wasn't any reason to anyway, she would be the one having to answer questions she didn't want to, afterwards.
"It's impolite to leave my friend waiting alone in my house." She said more sternly.
"You have a very picky concept of what is impolite and what is not."
She heard the chair behind her moving.
"She said she doesn't want to." Ino's voice reached her ears.
His stare didn't move to the centre of the voice. It remained on her as if he was waiting for her to agree with the statement her friend made.
"Hey, time to leave." Ino said again and her heel echoed through the house when she made a step. "And tell your buddy to stop picking on Hinata. I stayed out of it out of courtesy to her, but if he continues my approach will change. I will make his life miserable like Hanabi-chan does."
She almost could see the smile on Ino's lips saying that last sentence.
"I am not the one that cares about what Naruto thinks." He said almost bored and she knew that was not an answer to Ino's statement.
She took a step forward.
"Don't worry Ino-san. It will only take a minute." She said and closed the door behind her.
She bypassed him and walked out of the garden, to be sure that Ino could not hear. He followed and stopped just as he exited the small door.
"A minute." He said.
"I don't imagine it would take longer than that."
"You caused an unnecessary scene." He began and she raised her gaze from the ground.
"You are the one that came here." She spoke. "And at this hour, knowing fully well that I asked you not to."
"So will we stop working?" He asked unbothered by the raise on her voice.
She took a breath, trying to calm. It was a reasonable question, she supposed, she left without giving a proper explanation of what it meant to stay away.
"I have thought about how it would work. We don't have to meet, not everyday surely. I used to write all this on my own anyway, with some parts that needed explanation along the way. We can work like that. Exchange intel in the progress that will be done." She said and she breathed again. She had used all the air she had inhaled to speak of her plan in one go.
"I see." He said and she almost nodded. "I refuse."
"You can't refuse." She spoke mindlessly.
"I can. It is my mission." He responded seriously.
She froze.
"And we will continue as before or we will not continue at all." He seemed satisfied with himself.
"Why are you so stubborn?" She asked.
"Why are you?" He responded.
"Time's up." Ino spoke from afar and they both turned to her direction.
"I will think about it." She said to dismiss him.
"I will wait." He said and took a step in the wrong direction.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"I'm waiting for an answer." He walked inside her house, passing beside Ino who seemed just as shocked as her.
The cold air hit her and she rushed back inside.
He had taken a sit on the stall in front of the fireplace. Ino stood still observing the odd man.
"What is going on?" She said finally, her thoughts bursting out. "Why are you here?" She turned to her. "Why is he here?"
"It's too cold outside Ino-san. It would be improper to not offer a hot drink." She responded as calmer as she could.
Ino sat down on her chair with force, completely confused about the scene that was unfolding in front of her eyes. She wanted to speak, to ask for more, Hinata could tell, but it was so absurd that she didn't know what to ask for. So she joined the silence along with the two of them.
The ticking of the clock was loud, accompanied by the crisping sound of the wood burning. She gave him side glances, not understanding his behaviour. Perhaps he wanted an answer right away to see how to proceed. If he left this mission, maybe he would take another, one that would compel him to leave. Maybe it was all about that. There was a mission that needed to be taken and he wanted to see if he would agree to it or not. That would explain the urgency, his weird insistance. Perhaps she should let him go. That would saddened Naruto. And Sakura too. But it would be for the best. She almost smiled on her thoughts. She wasn't the one holding him here.
It would be the first time that his departure would mean something to her. In a sense she had grew accustomed to his presence in the village. In here.
"So did you go to the opening?" Ino asked, not comfortable with the queit atmosphere.
He looked at the blonde.
"Yes." He answered.
"What did you think about the changes?" She spoke again.
He was bothered now.
"You are the only one who can tell." Ino said to explain herself. "So?"
He never answered. He didn't seem he would.
Ino scoffed but continued looking around.
"I think it is nice. It really gives a feel of unity with the rest of the village."
"Common." He said.
"What?" She turned to him, he had her attention again.
"Not unique." He added.
"I know what common means." She said irritated but he grew silent again.
"Shikamaru was happy, as far as anyone can tell with a face like his. He had came with Naruto and her, so Choji and I found him later on." Ino was blambering, looking straight at Hinata like she had decided to dismiss the other person entirely. "I was forced to see her of course, with her idiot smile on her face, but it was only for a while. Thankfully, or else I would throw the entire meal I just had." Perhaps she was trying to irritate him by insulting Sakura.
"Ino." Hinata said with a serious tone.
"I know, I know. You don't want me to speak bad of her. But isn't it shameless to walk with Naruto around like nothing happened?"
"They are friends." She spoke to stop Ino.
"I think they had forgotten it about a month or two."
She stopped and looked at her straight in the eyes.
"But I hope you don't forget how he made you feel."
For a moment she felt his stare.
"You misunderstood." She said to clear the false conclusion that Ino had came to.
"Did he spoke to you?"
Her silence was almost an answer
"Why? What does he want?"
When Hinata didn't respond her anger grew.
"Why is he here?" She pointed to the man. "Is he so much of a coward to send his friend here to speak on his behalf?"
"Ino-san please." She said.
Maybe there was something in her voice, the desperation that she felt that took form on words spoken and not.
"I'm sorry." Ino got up and hugged her. "But I don't understand."
"I am not here on the idiot's behalf." He spoke and she wanted to hide under the floor and the ground underneath her house. Ino spoke out of worry, she didn't blame her, but it didn't ease the embarrassment. She had almost forgotten his presence, or more correctly she knew he was there, like the fire that was burning, and the couch she was sitting on.
"So? Why are you here? You seem too comfortable for someone that is unwanted."
He looked at her again, waiting for a confirmation.
"It doesn't concern you." He said leaving Ino ready to jump on him.
It was a surreal situation, if she could take a moment to observe it. One that could have easily been avoided if he was more reasonable and she was more determined. If she had refused him more vividly, if she had shut him down on the spot. She didn't. And she didn't know why. It was what she wanted. No, it was the right thing to do. She realised then, that the two didn't align.
"Okay." She said. "Fine." She got up.
He moved his lips but the movement was stopped by her next words.
"Just remember that I tried."

____

Ino left late the night. There were many things that she wanted to know and the interrogation started after he left. The answers she was given were few, but she was able to ease her worry about her thinking of returning back to her ex husband.
For the man who came unannounced and caused this commotion she said even less words. She dismissed the subject as one that involved their work, a difference in a matter that was solved.
He didn't say another word of it the next day, neither in the days that passed. She let it slide, another angry exchange would occur if she didn't. Still it was troubling. His insistence of having her near. In the end that was what it was. Him not accepting her leave.
It was troubling and rose her anxiety. Because she already knew how Naruto viewed her behaviour, even if it was not her choice, not her pushing him into this collaboration, this friendship. And she couldn't explain to the man how things could go wrong. She couldn't, unless she broke the promise she had given to herself.
There was no point to think about it now, she had done all she could. Perhaps she should had stood her ground and kick him out, maybe that was the correct way to behave. Yet he surprised her when he came unannounced, unbothered of how he would look, staying until she agreed.
He wasn't waiting for her answer, he was waiting for her yelding, she realised later.
She closed her eyes and left the silence wrap her. This hour on a winter day the world seemed abandoned, queit. The air had died out, leaving only the cold, everywhere and unseen, keeping everything still. She let herself embrace that stillness for a moment before she opened her eyes again and put on her thick jacket. She walked outside her door, locking in on the way out. Just to be sure.
He had said, it would be a short travel.
She watched as the darkness unfolded in front of her gaze, the moon still visible, stubborn to not leave, even if morning had came.
They would meet at the gates, and she knew that Naruto would learn about it eventually even if she didn't need to report herself. She would come and go as she wanted. Civilians had that previlege.
But he, he had to report his actions and Naruto would ask his guards if he left alone. She could only imagine what expression his face would make. But there was nothing to be done.
The other night, as she put an order to the lastest scrolls containing the Uchiha history, she observed that the content was even less. As if there were pieces of information missing, as if it was a puzzle that there was no way to be solved. When she had spoke her thoughts, he had stayed silent. There was nothing to be done, she guessed. She would work with whatever informations he had, but many things would be incomplete. He was still a child when the massacre happened.
Then he spoke. And he said that he had hidden them. When she asked him why, he didn't answer. Instead he offered to show her. To take her to the place he had buried them.
He only said that it was in the land of fire, not long from here. A day trip, he had said and Hinata wanted to ask what more was he hiding.
She reached the gates, passing by the guards that seemed wary at first, but relaxed when they recognised her. That rose her anxiety more.
He came to sight, not sparring a look at the two men who watched the gate.
She was the first to go, in a foolish attempt to make them forget her. She waited for them to be far enough when she spoke.
"Where are we going?" She said.
"You will see."
"I would prefer to know beforehand."
"Why?" He asked curiosly.
"I agreed to come because I trusted you, so now you should tell me where we are going." She said.
He was amused or satisfied, she didn't know. Then his features fell and his face became more strict.
"To the old Uchiha hideout. That's where we are going. To the place my brother died."