The Deadly Star

Chapter 13: I Should Be In A Home For The Clinically Insane.

I pulled on the same clothes I had worn for the past few days or weeks, I don't know, I've lost count now.

I mean, what's the point in counting?

So as I pulled on my clothes I began to hum My Chemical Romance's I Don't Love You song. It suited my situation perfectly, out of coincidence.

I so did not have any idea what to do with myself anymore. Just a month ago I was an innocent teenage girl, who spent her lunch times reading a book or quietly chatting with her friends, who spent friday nights watching romantic comedies with her best friend not getting drunk or partying, I was a girl who didn't giggle or gossip over guys or anything like that, I had had no dream of anything like this, this was murder, this was sick. Sickening. I had experience so many people die, so many people that were CLOSE to me die. And all because of this one man, this one man who was only in this place to turn me into a sick monster too.

I stared myself up and down in the partly broken mirror.

My reflection looked tired and slim, pale even. Nothing like I used to be.

I used to be full of colour, my cheek bones were never this visable and the bags under my eyes, I had always had a good amount of sleep. The reflection wasn't me. I was sure of it.

Absolutely sure.

I took my limp blonde curls in my hand and snatched a pair of scissors from the dark wooden stand next to the mirror and began to roughly cut my hair so that it was just shoulder length. The long strands of blonde curls fell to the floor and I dropped the scissors in shock.

What had I just done?

Shit.

I didn't want this.

Why had I done it?

"I'll tell you why you did it." I spun around on my heels only to see nothing. I looked up into the mirror.

Who had just spoken?

So many questions.

"I spoke." I turned around again and then heard the voice again, but this time in my head, "It was out of anger, you cut your hair."

I let out a long exasperated sigh.

Was I going mentally insane now?

"No, you're not insane, you're just hearing things Rosa."

Rosa, my old nickname. OH GREAT! I'm hearing things now. Well screw this!

"Actually Rosa, please don't screw me, only Dimitri can give me enough pleasure." The voice said and I could sense the smirk in it's voice.

You can have him. I thought back.

"Honey, I don't want him, you know that. The only reason he gives a good fuck is because he's had LOADS of experience, and that means he is not to be trusted."

Was that really called for my mentally insane voice which is driving me mentally insane?

"It was called for indefinitely."

Let my live my life in as much peace as I can get.

"Whatever, don't expect me to leave that easy though Rosa, good bye! For now!"

I shook my head roughly as though I was trying to shake the voice out.

"ROSALIE?!" I heard Zara's voice from the hallway.

"Uh...yes Zara! I'm in my room!" I yelled back.

"OK" She opened the door and stopped still, "What. Did. You. Do?" She asked and I awkwardly glanced at my feet.

"ROSALIE?! ANSWER!" She yelled as if she thought I couldn't hear her.

"I...I don't know." I whispered as a reply.

"Your hair..." She replied quietly.

"I didn't realise I had it in me..."

"Why..? Did you do it I mean..." 

I was angry. I thought.

"I...I was never like this in school, I was innocent, this is a new me, my hair may as well count for something and make me new too." I replied awkwardly.

"Well you look like a fucking pixie, hope that's what you were going for." She said distaste dripping from her tone.

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OK SO I HAVE KINDA LOST ALL INSPIRATION FOR THIS BOOK :( SORRY TO THE PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY LIKE THIS, IF ANYONE ACTUALLY DOES. NOT SURE WHETHER UPDATES WILL COME REGULARY. SORRY AGAIN, WILL TRY FINISH IT, YEAH. K.