48 hours, a short story | chan & seungmin

chan ⚘ motion sickness- phoebe bridgers

- Chapter 3 , pb&j sandwich

he whips back around, starting to yell at me again. "if you were nicer about it, i could have made you a sandwich or something nice like nice people do!"

he gives me an angry look before he turns back around. he continues to walk to that house, which i'm guessing is his. i start think about this. i don't want this random kid to be mad at me.

i turn back to look at the dock, thinking that i could just walk back out there and jump in the ocean when he walks away. i could follow through with my plan, drowning peacefully in the most beautiful place on earth. however, i don't want some random kid to be mad at me. i don't want the last thing i do to be making a kid angry, and i for sure don't want to die with somebody angry at me.

i turn my head back forward and look at the boy. he is almost halfway to that house before i make a decision to yell something back at him.

"i'm sorry." i yell out, thinking an apology would make him feel better. "i am kind of hungry."

i am not really hungry, but by the way he halts his angry stomps- i know it was the right thing to say. i wait for him to speak, but he doesn't. he just turns back to me, looking at me like he's debating on something.

"are you serious?" he asks, holding his hand up to shield his eyes from the sun as he looks at me.

i nod my head. "i just got here, and i haven't eaten anything. if you can, i'd like you to make me that sandwich." i yell.

i don't even know this kid, but a huge smile spreads across his face when i say that. he nods his head, and motions for me to follow him.

"okay, come with me." he yells, beginning to walk.

i just sigh before i begin to follow him. the sand is getting on my shoes, and the wind is blowing my clothes. it's relaxing, but i was hoping to be relaxed in the water as i pass.

he leads me to the deck of the house, and turns around to look at me. "here, just wait right here." he says, opening the sliding glass door and heading inside.

i nod my head, and stay on the deck of his house as he goes inside. there's a window in the kitchen, and i can see him as he goes through his fridge. i don't know what type of sandwich he is making at first, but he pulls out the jelly and it gives me an idea. i like pb&j's, so it's all okay.

i still can't believe he actually is making me a sandwich. ideally, you wouldn't make a guy you found trying to kill himself a sandwich. however, i don't think he really knows what i was doing out there. i hope he doesn't find out.

he opens the sliding glass door, stepping outside with two sandwiches. he offers one to me, squinting an eye from the sun.

i take it with a little head nod. "thank you."

he nods, and walks over to the patio chairs. he sits down, and looks behind for me. he motions to the chair next to him, so i walk over and take a seat next to the kid.

"i might have put too much peanut butter on yours." he says. "you're not like allergic to nuts or anything, right?" he looks over to me worriedly.

i shake my head no. "it's a bad time to ask." i say, and take a bite of the sandwich.

he is right, he definitely put too much peanut butter on mine. but that's okay. "it's good." i say, nodding my head.

"that's good." he says simply.

we both continue to each our sandwiches, a bit awkwardly. you can tell he isn't trying to chew too loud, and it's kind of respectable. i look out to the beach, just watching the waves.

there is silence between us, but the sound of the waves makes up for it. it's such a nice scenery. i envy all the people who get to wake up to this. if i had a better chance at life, i would have lived in a beach house.

"so.." he starts, dragging his words out. "what are you uh.. planning to do after this?" he asks.

i look over to him, and how he is ripping the crust off of his bread. i look away. "i don't know." i say honestly.

what do i really do after this? my plan to kill myself failed, after i have planned on doing that for so long. i already quit my job and sold all my things. i have nothing now, really.

"are you homeless?" he asks suddenly, but seems to realize how unfiltered that was when he snaps his head to me. "i mean... you don't look homeless or anything.. it's just like.. i don't know-forget i asked."

"i guess you could say i am." i say after all his rambling.

he looks to me. "you are? really?"

i nod my head.

"oh." he says.

he stays silent for a little bit, taking a few bites of his sandwich. "me and my brother were homeless once." he says with food in his mouth.

i look over to him curiously, and he nods his head. "i was like five, it's what happened when our mom died. he was sixteen at the time, and we took a bus until we were far enough away to start again."

"oh." i say. "that's... um, you know.. i don't think you should tell people you just met this stuff." i look at him.

he looks up at me and nods. "i know, but i'm never gonna see you again probably and you seem like you are a good listener. i also have a lot to say, and nobody to say it too."

"trust me, i could care less about your problems kid." i say with a dry chuckle. "i have problems of my own."

"i'm not a kid." he whines. "i am nineteen! i turn twenty in a few months! i graduated high school today and move across the country in two days, i am not a kid!"

i look over to him, and watch as he gets all whiny and defensive. he says he isn't a kid, but he is acting like one right now. it's annoying, but also a bit entertaining. i've never seen somebody throw a fit like a little kid while saying they aren't a kid.

"okay fine, you're grown. but i'm going to keep calling you kid because i don't know your name." i say. "and you are way younger than me."

"my name is seungmin." he says, finishing his sandwich and wiping the crumbs off his hands.

"you shouldn't tell strangers your name." i say to him. this guy really doesn't know anything.

"you shouldn't ask strangers for a sandwich. what if i poisoned it, huh?" he asks irritated. "you are dumb too, big guy."

"i never called you dumb." i shake my head.

he scoffs.

"i really hate you." he says. "i saved you from dying and you still didn't thank me or have the decency to even acknowledge it. i really hate you. you haven't even smiled at me or shown me any gratitude or emotion. i saved you

i finish my sandwich, and wipe my own hands on my pants. i stand up, and look down at him. "what if i wanted to die, seungmin?"