48 hours, a short story | chan & seungmin

seungmin ⚘ those eyes- new west

- Chapter 10 , better to die loved than to die alone.

i hop in the car, and chan gets in the other side. we both look more presentable now- thank god.

the buckles of the seatbelts sound as chan starts the car, not saying a word. i guess he is back to being the chan i met yesterday, the one who didn't speak or show any emotion. i have not seen anything that makes me feel better yet.

i still think he lied to me last night. maybe he was just overwhelmed and said it because he wanted me to leave him alone, maybe he just faked a smile to make me feel better. i think things like this when he looks at me blankly, and i feel like we are back to square one.

i don't even think we have a square one. i think i'm getting to caught up in the idea of making him feel better that it's staring to mess with my brain. i mean, i haven't even known this guy for twenty-four hours and here i am acting like i've known him all my life. yet i don't think he really cares, so that's what gets me thinking.

i know i shouldn't ask him. in fact, i don't want to ask, and i don't want to know, but i'm dying to ask and i'm dying to know. i want to ask him all the questions i have piled up in my brain, but i feel like letting them all on him will break him.

he seems fragile. like a dandelion, but he only has one of his little fruits. if i blow on it to much, it will blow away and the flower will have nothing. it will only be a weed then, that wants to be plucked.

"the shelter next to the supercenter, right?" he asks suddenly, his voice a little worn.

i look over to him, and just nod my head. "yeah, it should be close."

"we're already almost there." he says. "you have been zoned out the entire time." he looks over to me, "are you okay?"

my breath slightly hitches. is he asking if i'm okay?

"yeah." i nod my head, looking over to him. "i'm fine, i'm just... i'm just thinking."

he stays silent for a bit, so i look away. however, he speaks up again. "..about what?"

i look at the birds in the parking lot as we pull in. "oh, we're already here." i say, avoiding his question completely.

i think he didn't even have to ask to know what i'm thinking about. therefore, i don't want to tell him out loud. i'm pretty sure we might have been thinking about the same thing even.

he parks the car, and unbuckles his seatbelt without another word or look. which is deserved, because i might have blew him off when i think about it. i take a deep breath before unbuckling my seatbelt as well, getting out of the car.

i follow behind him, because he seems to know where he is going. he grabs the door handle and holds the door open for me- but he doesn't actually look at me.

"thanks." i say, and step inside.

this place always makes my mood so much better, and it did the same today. the atmosphere in here, despite being a shelter for homeless animals, is always bright and cheery.

"seungmin!" the lady at the front desk exclaims.

a smile spreads on my face, and i make my way to her. "hey, how are you?" i ask.

"i'm better now that i see you." she says, winking at me.

she's always so sweet. she is a volunteer as well, and she is a grade above me. she goes to college around here, and i'm guessing it's her break right now- which is why she is at the shelter.

"i'm here with my.. i'm here with chan." i say, and gesture to the man who stands behind me.

she takes a good look at him, and instantly becomes shy. i look behind me, and realize why. he honestly is intimidating, with his dark aura in such a bright place. i have to hold back a laugh.

"um.." she starts. "yeah, okay. so here just take these bracelets and then you know what to do."

she hands us both the volunteer bracelets, and gives us a smile. "and i'm going to need your names on this sheet.." she slowly starts to slide a sheet over to me.

i chuckle, talking the pen. i write down my name and the time, before turning around and looking at chan. "should i just put you down as chan?"

he nods, so i turn back around and write down his name as well. she smiles one last time, talking the sheet. she reads over it and then gestures for me and him to go into the main room now.

"thank you." i say, and turn to chan.

"let me see your wrist." i say.

he tilts his head, but still raises it up anyway. i wrap the bracelet around his wrist, and pull of the sticky part to secure it. when i am done, i pat his wrist.

i look up to him, and then hand him the other one. "help me now."

i swear i see him crack a smile, but he hides it pretty well. he lifts up my wrist and wraps it around, his cold hands dragging against my skin. i shiver, which causes him to look at my face. i purse my lips, so he goes back to my wrist- pulling off the sticky part and securing it.

"alright." he says.

"alright!" she repeats, reminding me that she has been staring at us this entire time. "enjoy your time here, thank you for volunteering!" she smiles.

i smile back, and grab chan's arm. he lets me just pull him down the hall, and before i enter the main room i stop to whisper. "i'm sorry.. she is kind of weird."

he chuckles. "yeah."

i smile. "anyway, what should we do first? do you want to meet the dogs first?" i tilt my head, looking at him.

he thinks for a second. "yeah, i'll meet the dogs."

i can see the slight excitement in his face, and i realize he must be a dog person. maybe it was a good idea taking him here, maybe he could come out of his shell. dogs make everybody happy.

"alright." i say, and push the door open.

we enter a big open room, with different kinds of dogs everywhere. some of the younger ones are in the playpen, and some of the middle aged ones are running around playing. then, of course, there is the group of elder dogs that just lay in the beds.

i always feel bad for the elders. when people come to adopt, they always avoid that section. i understand why- the dog is going to die soon anyway, and has live a long life of disappointment.

but for me, i ask why you would let something die disappointed? why not give it unconditional love until it dies, so it can die happily? it's better to die loved than to die alone.

i snap out of my thoughts, and i turn around so i can look to chan. he is looking around the room curiously. i smile. "what would you like to do first? should we go straight to feeding or should i give you an introduction?"

he moves his gaze to me, and nods. "i'll take an introduction.."